Gods of Egypt (2016) 💀 “What if Egyptian mythology… but everyone is a superhero and nobody is Egyptian.” — 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🧾 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview So this movie drops you into a version of ancient Egypt where the gods are basically giant, glowing, armor-wearing superhumans who…
Category: Fever Dream
Tale of the Mummy (1998/1999)
Tale of the Mummy (1998/1999) 📜 “This movie thinks it’s deep… and I’m sitting here trying to figure out what it’s even saying.” — 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — If y’all are wondering why i’m reviewing these now, it’s because we’re getting a new mummy film that just released…
Deadfall Adventures (2013)
Deadfall Adventures (2013) 📜💀 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? And ohhh my god… the second that trailer starts, you already know EXACTLY what kind of game this is. This is not subtle. This is not grounded. This is not trying to be realistic in any way, shape, or form. This is:…
The Mummy Resurrected (2014)
The Mummy Resurrected (2014) 💀 ⚠️ Content Warning This is a low-budget horror film. Expect violence, rough effects, questionable acting, and moments that feel less like horror and more like you accidentally clicked on the wrong movie at 2AM and just kept watching out of confusion. — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall…
The Mummy Reborn (2019)
The Mummy Reborn (2019) 💀 ⚠️ Content Warning This is a horror/action film. Expect violence, some creepy imagery, low-budget effects, and a whole lot of decisions that will make you question everyone involved—both on screen and behind the camera. — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? Because this movie is trying REALLY…
The Boys (2019) – Season 1
The Boys (2019) – Season 1 Superheroes, but make it deeply uncomfortable. — ⚠️ Warning Before We Even Begin ⚠️ This season is extremely gory. People explode. Limbs come off. Faces get crushed. There’s sexual assault, abuse of power, corporate manipulation, and very obvious political undertones. It is not subtle. It is not clean. It…
Clifford the Big Red Dog (2021)
Clifford the Big Red Dog (2021) ❤️ “Why is there a giant blood-colored dog running around New York??” — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🎬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview So this movie is about a giant red dog. And I don’t mean “oh he’s a little bigger than normal.” No. I…
Tom & Jerry (2021)
Tom & Jerry (2021) 😾🐁 “This is a Tom & Jerry movie that forgot it’s a Tom & Jerry movie” — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🎬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview So this movie is basically a hotel wedding movie. I wish I was joking. You’ve got this big royal wedding…
Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019)
Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) 🍃 “I am a grown man watching Dora… and somehow also Indiana Jones?” — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🎬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview So this movie is basically Dora the Explorer mixed with Indiana Jones mixed with The Mummy, and I’m just…
The Smurfs 2 (2013)
The Smurfs 2 (2013) 💙 A Smurf-Elicious sequal? Oh god they got me doing the puns now. Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🟦 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview So somehow… we’re back. Gargamel (Hank Azaria) is still out here failing successfully, now famous for magic tricks, and still obsessed with capturing the…
Judicious Jarrod's Every-Flavor Entertainment and Media Reviews 