Spider-Man: The Sinister Six (1996)

Review 🕷️🕸️💀

My Spider-Sense Is Telling Me To Uninstall This Game

Intro / Menu Segment

Normally this is where I’d say:

Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we?

Unfortunately, Spider-Man: The Sinister Six doesn’t really have a traditional trailer for me to show you.

So instead, let’s talk about the game’s intro and menu.

Im sorry what? Did they really not get the rights to the Spider-Man song and just decided to have someone in the booth sing out the word Spider-Man! Multiple times!?

A Quick Spider-Man Fun Fact About Me 🕷️

Before we continue, here’s something I don’t think I’ve ever actually mentioned in any of my Spider-Man reviews.

Spider-Man is basically my Batman of Marvel.

What do I mean by that? Batman is my favorite DC superhero, while Spider-Man is my favorite Marvel superhero. I love both characters pretty much equally. If you asked me to choose between Batman and Spider-Man, I genuinely don’t think I could.

And that’s probably why I’m so critical of their games, movies, and shows. I’ve played a lot of Batman games and a lot of Spider-Man games. I’ve seen the great stuff, the okay stuff, and the stuff that makes me sit there wondering if anyone developing the game actually likes the character.

Which brings us back to Spider-Man: The Sinister Six.

One of my favorite superheroes of all time.

Six iconic villains.

And apparently my greatest enemy isn’t Doctor Octopus, Mysterio, or the Vulture.

It’s figuring out how the hell “Smedicle” translates to “Smerdyakov.”

Yeah.

We’re in for a rough one. 🕷️

And before I get too far into this review, I should mention how I even discovered this game existed. The YouTube channel Rerez first brought this game to my attention. I had absolutely no idea this Spider-Man game existed before seeing it covered there.

After learning about it, curiosity got the better of me.

That was my first mistake.

The intro actually tries to present the game like a Spider-Man comic book. You get the big Spider-Man logo, comic-inspired imagery, and the Sinister Six displayed prominently.

Doctor Octopus.

The Vulture.

Mysterio.

Hobgoblin.

The Chameleon.

And Shocker.

You look at the cover and think:

“Okay, classic Spider-Man fighting the Sinister Six. How bad can this possibly be?”

Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered.

The menu itself has this old PC game presentation where everything feels like it was designed to be interactive and comic-book-like. I can see what they were going for.

Then the game starts.

And suddenly it looks like someone took a Spider-Man coloring book, scanned it into a computer, compressed it seventeen times, ran it through a microwave, and said:

“Yep. Ship it.”

Welcome to Spider-Man: The Sinister Six.

Non-Spoiler Plot Overview

The story follows Peter Parker as his normal life is once again interrupted by supervillain nonsense.

Doctor Octopus has assembled the Sinister Six and is working on a larger plan involving the destruction of the world because apparently Doctor Octopus woke up that morning and decided subtlety was for losers.

Peter is dragged into the mystery after receiving information connected to the villains. From there, the player has to investigate clues, solve puzzles, make choices, and occasionally participate in action sequences as Spider-Man.

Calling this an action game would be misleading.

Calling it an adventure game feels slightly more accurate.

Calling it a Spider-Man-themed collection of bizarre activities held together by duct tape might be the most accurate.

The game switches between Peter Parker investigating things and Spider-Man confronting members of the Sinister Six. You’ll examine clues, talk to characters, answer questions, solve word puzzles, navigate strange minigames and occasionally fight villains.

The basic story isn’t complicated.

Doctor Octopus has a plan.

The Sinister Six are involved.

Spider-Man needs to stop them.

Simple.

Unfortunately, the game somehow takes this simple concept and makes everything feel considerably more confusing than it needs to be.

Character Rundown

Spider-Man is our main character, obviously.

Or Peter Parker.

Or whatever collection of pixels is supposed to represent Peter Parker.

The graphics are not good.

I understand this game came out in 1996. I’m not expecting Peter Parker to look like Yuri Lowenthal’s Spider-Man from the Insomniac games.

But holy shit.

Some of the characters look like their faces were drawn from memory by someone who briefly saw a human being through a moving car window.

Peter looks bizarre.

Mary Jane looks bizarre.

The villains look bizarre.

Character animations are extremely limited, and the compressed visuals make everyone feel strangely lifeless.

Spider-Man himself at least has some personality because the game tries to use his humor. He makes comments, reacts to situations, and occasionally sounds like Spider-Man.

The problem is that the gameplay surrounding him is so awkward that I stopped feeling like Spider-Man relatively quickly.

Doctor Octopus is the main villain and leader of the Sinister Six. He’s responsible for bringing the villains together and driving the larger plot.

The Chameleon is probably the villain I remember most.

Not because he’s incredibly well written.

Because of Smedicle.

We’ll get there.

Mysterio appears and brings the expected illusion-based nonsense.

The Vulture is here.

Shocker is here.

Hobgoblin is here.

The game has a pretty good selection of classic Spider-Man villains.

That’s another reason the game frustrates me.

You have the Sinister Six.

How did you make fighting the Sinister Six feel like completing homework on a dying computer?

Mary Jane is also important to the story because the villains threaten her.

And nothing motivates Spider-Man quite like the writers putting Mary Jane in danger again.

Pacing / Episode Flow

The game is divided into chapters involving different members of the Sinister Six.

On paper, that structure makes sense.

Each villain can have their own section.

Each chapter can use different gameplay mechanics.

Spider-Man slowly works his way through the villains before confronting Doctor Octopus.

Unfortunately, the game has the attention span of someone repeatedly changing television channels.

One minute you’re investigating something.

Then you’re answering a question.

Then you’re solving a word puzzle.

Then you’re playing a minigame.

Then Spider-Man is fighting someone.

Then you’re staring at a poorly compressed image trying to figure out what the game wants you to click.

There’s no satisfying gameplay rhythm.

The game constantly changes what it expects from you without making any individual mechanic particularly enjoyable.

And the difficulty is weird.

Sometimes the game is painfully easy.

Other times, it asks you a question where the biggest challenge is figuring out what the game itself is trying to say.

That’s not difficulty.

That’s a communication breakdown.

Pros

The game uses the Sinister Six.

That’s cool.

I like the villain selection, and I appreciate that the game doesn’t simply use Doctor Octopus by himself. The structure of Spider-Man investigating and slowly encountering different villains could have created a fun comic-book adventure.

The comic-inspired presentation is also a decent idea.

The cover looks fantastic.

Look at that cover.

Spider-Man is front and center, and the Sinister Six are displayed underneath him.

That cover promises:

WEB-SPINNING! WALL-CRAWLING ACTION!

The game delivers:

CONFUSING SPELLING TEST!

But I still appreciate the comic-book aesthetic they were attempting.

The game also tries to make Peter Parker important.

You’re not constantly Spider-Man. Peter investigates clues and uses his brain.

I like that concept.

Peter Parker is intelligent.

A Spider-Man game should occasionally remember that the person underneath the mask is a scientist and photographer rather than simply a guy waiting to punch Doctor Octopus.

And…

Yeah.

That’s about it.

I have delayed the inevitable long enough.

Cons

The gameplay is abysmal.

This game doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be.

It’s part point-and-click adventure.

Part puzzle game.

Part action game.

Part trivia game.

Part spelling test administered by someone who doesn’t know how to pronounce the answer.

The controls and interactions feel incredibly awkward.

You frequently click around environments looking for the correct thing the game wants you to notice.

Sometimes it’s obvious.

Sometimes it’s not.

And because the graphics are so poor, identifying interactive objects can become a challenge by itself.

Speaking of the graphics…

Good God.

Again, 1996.

I understand.

But this game is ugly.

The characters look horrifying.

Faces are poorly defined.

Animations are stiff.

Some images look so compressed that I feel like I’m looking at evidence from a security camera.

There are moments where I genuinely had to stare at the screen and figure out what I was looking at.

That’s not an exaggeration.

The game has Spider-Man villains with some of the most visually interesting designs in Marvel history.

Mysterio has a fishbowl head.

Doctor Octopus has four giant mechanical arms.

Vulture is an old man dressed like a bird.

Hobgoblin looks like a demonic Halloween decoration.

How do you make these characters visually boring?

Then there are the puzzles.

Oh.

My.

God.

Let’s discuss the Chameleon note.

Peter is at a party when he receives a note.

The note is supposedly connected to the Chameleon, and the player has to figure out the missing name.

The game gives you blank spaces.

You have to type the answer.

Fine.

That’s a word puzzle.

The game also gives you three hints.

You press the hint button.

And the game reads the note aloud.

The voice sounds like it’s saying:

“Find Smedicle or your wife dies.”

Excuse me?

Who the fuck is Smedicle?

That’s not a name.

That’s a prescription medication.

Ask your doctor if Smedicle is right for you. Side effects may include confusion, rage and playing Spider-Man: The Sinister Six.

So naturally, you try to figure out how to spell the word you just heard.

Smedicle?

Smedikal?

Smeddicle?

The game rejects you.

Then you eventually discover the answer is:

Smerdyakov.

WHAT!?

And once you correctly enter the answer, Peter reads the note:

“Find Smerdyakov or your wife dies.”

PETER.

HOW DID YOU GET SMERDYAKOV FROM SMEDICLE!?

Those words don’t even sound the same!

The Chameleon’s real name is Dmitri Smerdyakov.

That’s fine.

Comic fans might know that.

But the puzzle is asking the player to spell Smerdyakov based partially on audio that sounds nothing like Smerdyakov.

And the blank spaces don’t make the situation any clearer.

The hint system is supposed to help you.

Instead, the hint button makes the puzzle more confusing.

That’s impressive.

The game gives you three hints and apparently uses one to gaslight you.

Then we have the action sequences.

Spider-Man’s movement feels awkward.

Combat lacks impact.

Web-swinging doesn’t give you the sense of freedom you’d expect from Spider-Man.

Everything feels restricted by the game’s design.

You’re Spider-Man.

One of his defining characteristics is movement.

He’s fast.

He’s agile.

He swings between buildings.

He crawls on walls.

He flips through the air.

This game makes Spider-Man feel like he’s navigating a PowerPoint presentation.

The minigames aren’t much better.

They’re repetitive, awkward and frequently feel disconnected from the larger story.

Instead of feeling like I’m battling the Sinister Six, I feel like I’m completing activities in a Spider-Man educational CD-ROM.

Congratulations, Spider-Man!

You defeated Mysterio!

Now spell Smerdyakov.

Final Thoughts

Spider-Man: The Sinister Six is one of those games I find fascinating because I genuinely had no idea it existed until Rerez brought it to my attention.

After discovering it?

I understand why nobody talks about it.

This isn’t some forgotten Spider-Man masterpiece.

It’s not an underrated classic.

It’s not a game unfairly buried by history.

History looked at this game and said:

“Yeah, we’re good.”

The comic-book presentation is a decent idea.

The villain selection is good.

I appreciate the focus on Peter Parker investigating clues.

But almost everything else is awful.

The graphics are ugly.

The gameplay is boring.

The action is clumsy.

The puzzles range from incredibly simple to confusing for completely unintended reasons.

And the game somehow turns the Sinister Six into a collection of strange minigames.

The worst thing a superhero game can do is make the superhero feel boring.

Batman shouldn’t feel boring.

Superman shouldn’t feel boring.

Spider-Man definitely shouldn’t feel boring.

And yet this game managed it.

I would rather watch Spider-Man file his taxes.

Actually, knowing Peter Parker’s financial situation, that might be considerably more stressful.

Rating

1/10

The one point is for the comic-book concept and villain selection.

The rest can go find Smedicle.

Or Smerdyakov.

Whatever.

Apparently Peter knows.

Spoiler Warning

Everything below this point contains full spoilers for Spider-Man: The Sinister Six.

I’ll be discussing Doctor Octopus’s plan, the individual villains, Mary Jane, the Chameleon puzzle and the ending.

If you’re worried about spoilers for a 1996 Spider-Man PC game?

I respect your dedication.

Spoilers

Doctor Octopus assembles the Sinister Six as part of his larger plan to destroy the world.

Yes.

The world.

We’re immediately going big.

Spider-Man begins investigating the villains and slowly works through the members of the team.

The game uses a branching structure where some of your choices can influence which villain sections you encounter and how events play out.

Again, good idea.

Poor execution.

One of the most infamous sections for me is the party scene involving Peter and the Chameleon’s note.

Peter receives a threatening message.

Mary Jane is in danger.

The game asks you to determine the missing name.

This should create tension.

Instead, I spent the entire sequence thinking:

“WHO THE FUCK IS SMEDICLE?”

You press the hint button.

“Find Smedicle or your wife dies.”

Okay.

I type something resembling Smedicle.

Wrong.

I try again.

Wrong.

Eventually:

SMERDYAKOV.

Correct!

Peter then calmly reads:

“Find Smerdyakov or your wife dies.”

No.

Stop.

Peter, rewind.

How did you do that?

Did your spider-sense correct the pronunciation?

Did Madame Web telepathically spell the name?

Did the Chameleon send a follow-up email?

Because I heard Smedicle.

And I’m still looking for him.

The game eventually takes Spider-Man through confrontations involving the individual members of the Sinister Six before leading toward Doctor Octopus.

Mysterio uses illusions.

Vulture attacks Spider-Man.

Shocker does Shocker things.

Hobgoblin appears.

Chameleon uses disguises.

Doctor Octopus is ultimately revealed as the larger mastermind.

The problem is that none of these encounters feel satisfying enough.

These are six iconic Spider-Man villains.

I should remember the fights.

Instead, the thing permanently burned into my memory is a badly pronounced Russian surname.

That’s the game.

The final confrontation with Doctor Octopus brings the story toward its conclusion, and Spider-Man ultimately stops his plan.

The world is saved.

Mary Jane is saved.

Spider-Man wins.

And I was left thinking:

That’s it?

This game feels less like a Spider-Man adventure and more like someone took several pages from a Spider-Man comic, converted each page into a different minigame and hoped nobody would notice.

Well.

I noticed.

Thanks, Rerez.

You showed me this game existed.

I don’t know if I should thank you or send you my therapy bill.

Spider-Man: The Sinister Six gets a 1/10.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find Smedicle.

Apparently my wife dies if I don’t. 🕷️💀