Batman & Robin (1998) Video Game Review 🦇❄️🌿

Somehow The Bat-Nipples Weren’t The Problem

Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we?

With the recent release of LEGO Batman: Legacy of the Dark Knight, which I genuinely consider one of the best Batman games ever made, I thought it would be fun to continue looking back at Batman’s gaming history.

We already suffered through Batman: Dark Tomorrow.

Now we’re going further back.

We’re going to 1998.

We’re going to the PlayStation.

We’re going to Batman & Robin.

Yes.

They made a video game based on Batman & Robin.

Because apparently watching the movie wasn’t enough. Someone decided we needed an interactive version of the suffering.

And let me get something out of the way immediately. I played some of this game, and just like Dark Tomorrow, my patience eventually packed a suitcase, walked out the front door, and never came back.

I looked up the rest.

And oh boy.

I don’t know what is more impressive. The fact that this game attempted an open-world Gotham in 1998 or the fact that navigating it feels like Batman has suffered a severe inner-ear infection.

The movie gave us Bat-nipples.

The game gave us Batman walking.

I don’t know which crime is worse.

Non-Spoiler Plot Overview

Batman & Robin is loosely based around the events of the 1997 movie.

Batman, Robin and Batgirl are trying to stop Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and Bane as Gotham faces several interconnected criminal plots. Mr. Freeze needs diamonds to power his freezing technology while searching for a cure for his wife, Nora. Poison Ivy wants to protect plant life by essentially deciding humanity can go fuck itself, and Bane is there to stand around looking large.

So yes.

It’s Batman & Robin.

The game.

However, instead of simply creating a linear action game, the developers decided to make something considerably more ambitious.

Gotham is explorable.

Time constantly moves forward.

Crimes and story events happen at specific times.

You have to investigate clues.

You need to determine where villains are going to strike.

If you fail to reach an event in time, the story continues without you.

On paper?

That sounds fucking amazing.

Seriously.

A Batman game where Gotham operates on a real-time schedule and Batman has to investigate clues to predict crimes?

In 1998?

That is ridiculously ambitious.

Unfortunately, ambition doesn’t automatically make something fun.

Sometimes ambition creates Batman & Robin.

Character Rundown

Batman is obviously one of the playable characters, and he looks like Batman from the movie.

Bat-nipples included.

Thank God.

I was terrified we might lose such an important piece of Batman mythology.

Batman is supposed to be the most balanced playable character. He has access to gadgets, combat abilities and the Batmobile.

Unfortunately, Batman walks like he has been holding in a shit since the opening credits of the movie.

What is it with terrible Batman games and making Batman walk like this?

His legs look stiff.

His body moves awkwardly.

His cape flaps around.

He looks less like the Dark Knight and more like Bruce Wayne is desperately trying to maintain his dignity while searching for a public restroom.

Robin is also playable and focuses more on agility. He’s faster and handles differently from Batman.

Batgirl is the third playable character, and I actually appreciate that the game lets you select between all three heroes.

For 1998, that’s cool.

The problem is that switching characters doesn’t fix the controls.

You can select Batman.

You can select Robin.

You can select Batgirl.

Three different ways to suffer.

Mr. Freeze is one of the main villains and follows his basic storyline from the movie. He’s trying to save Nora and needs diamonds to power his technology.

Thankfully, Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t physically standing next to your PlayStation screaming ice puns every five seconds.

Although considering how boring parts of this game become, maybe I needed him.

Poison Ivy is another major villain and continues her plan involving plant domination.

Bane is also here.

That’s about as much character development as Bane received in the movie, so I guess that’s accurate.

Pacing / Episode Flow

The pacing of this game is bizarre because everything operates around a clock.

Time constantly passes.

Events occur whether Batman is present or not.

The player has to search Gotham, gather clues and determine where the next crime will happen.

Again, I love this idea.

I hate playing it.

The game barely explains anything.

You’ll find a clue and the game basically goes:

“Interesting.”

Okay.

What the fuck does it mean?

Where am I going?

Who am I looking for?

When is the crime happening?

Batman?

Bruce?

Alfred?

Anyone?

HELP ME.

The game expects you to carefully inspect clues and piece together villain plans. That’s appropriate for Batman.

The problem is that the interface and gameplay make doing this unnecessarily frustrating.

You can miss events.

You can arrive late.

You can waste enormous amounts of time driving around Gotham.

And because the game operates in real time, getting lost isn’t simply annoying.

Getting lost can actively screw you.

Imagine Google Maps telling you:

“Turn left.”

You miss the turn.

Google Maps responds:

“Mr. Freeze won. Nora is still sick. Fuck you.”

That’s this game.

Pros

The biggest positive is the ambition.

I cannot deny it.

For a PlayStation game released in 1998, Batman & Robin tries some genuinely interesting things.

An explorable Gotham City was a huge idea at the time. This was long before Arkham City and Arkham Knight gave us massive versions of Gotham to explore.

The game also lets you drive the Batmobile.

Again, cool idea.

Driving through Gotham as Batman and responding to crimes sounds fantastic.

The detective system is another great concept.

Instead of simply giving Batman a waypoint and saying:

“Villain located here.”

The player has to collect clues, examine evidence and predict future crimes.

That is Batman.

That’s exactly the kind of gameplay I want from a Batman game.

The real-time clock is also fascinating. Villains aren’t waiting around for Batman. Their plans continue.

If you aren’t there?

Too bad.

The crime happens.

There’s something genuinely cool about Gotham feeling like events exist independently of the player.

And being able to play as Batman, Robin and Batgirl gives the game some variety.

I respect what this game tried to accomplish.

I just wish accomplishing any of it wasn’t miserable.

Cons

The controls.

Jesus Christ.

Batman controls like a forklift.

Movement is stiff, turning feels awkward, and getting Batman to move exactly where you want him feels like negotiating with him.

“Batman, walk forward.”

Batman turns slightly left.

“No. Forward.”

Batman walks into a wall.

“Bruce.”

Batman turns around.

“BRUCE.”

And then there’s the walking animation.

Once again, Batman looks like he desperately needs to take a shit.

I’m starting to think Gotham has no bathrooms.

Batman walks with this awkward stiffness where his entire lower body looks uncomfortable.

He doesn’t look intimidating.

He looks constipated.

Imagine being a criminal and seeing Batman approaching you like that.

I’d probably move out of the way.

Not because I’m scared.

Because clearly the man has somewhere important to be.

Combat isn’t much better.

Fighting enemies feels clumsy and unresponsive. Attacks don’t have enough impact, positioning is awkward, and the camera frequently makes everything worse.

You know what Batman’s greatest enemy is in this game?

Not Mr. Freeze.

Not Poison Ivy.

Not Bane.

The fucking camera.

The camera moves around like it’s being operated by someone who has never seen Batman before and is trying to film him from another building.

Then there’s Gotham itself.

Yes, Gotham is open.

But open doesn’t automatically mean interesting.

The city is ugly, empty and difficult to navigate.

Buildings blend together.

Roads become confusing.

The draw distance is limited.

Sometimes you’re driving around trying to find a location and everything looks like Gotham was constructed using twelve grey rectangles.

The Batmobile should be one of the coolest parts of the game.

Instead, driving feels awkward.

Turning can be frustrating, navigation is confusing and the city doesn’t make driving particularly enjoyable.

And because missions happen at specific times, you’re constantly worried that you’re wasting time.

That’s my biggest problem with the real-time system.

It’s a brilliant idea attached to horrible gameplay.

If the controls were responsive and Gotham was easy to navigate, the clock would create tension.

Here?

It creates anxiety.

I’m not thinking:

“I need to stop Mr. Freeze!”

I’m thinking:

“WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BUILDING?”

The game also explains very little.

This is another one of those older games where apparently the developers expected you to have the manual sitting next to you, a notebook in your lap, a map taped to the wall and Alfred personally providing tech support.

I understand wanting the player to investigate.

But Batman is supposed to solve mysteries.

The player shouldn’t have to solve the mystery of how the game works.

The graphics?

Look.

It’s 1998.

I am not going to compare this to Arkham Knight.

But even with that context, the game is ugly.

Character models look bizarre.

Faces barely resemble human beings.

Animations are stiff.

Gotham looks dead.

And some of the cutscenes look like Batman action figures having a conversation while someone shakes the table.

Final Thoughts

Batman & Robin is frustrating because I can see the game it wanted to be.

An open-world Batman detective game.

A living Gotham operating on a real-time clock.

Villains planning crimes independently.

Batman collecting clues.

The Batmobile.

Multiple playable members of the Bat-family.

In 1998, those ideas were incredibly ambitious.

But ambition does not save the game.

The controls are horrible.

The combat is clumsy.

The camera is awful.

Gotham is confusing.

The real-time clock punishes you for getting lost in a game that makes getting lost extremely easy.

And the game barely explains what you’re supposed to do.

After playing LEGO Batman: Legacy of the Dark Knight, looking back at this game is bizarre.

Both games want you to explore Gotham.

Both games want Batman’s gadgets to matter.

Both games understand Batman is a detective.

The difference is that Legacy of the Dark Knight actually makes those things fun.

Batman & Robin feels like someone designed the Batman game of their dreams and then remembered they had to make it run on a PlayStation in 1998.

I respect the idea.

I despise playing it.

Also, Batman still looks like he needs to take a shit.

Why is this becoming a recurring problem?

Ah well, at least I can live out my Batman and Robin dreams in Legacy Of The Dark Knight.

Rating

1/10

The one point is entirely for ambition.

The developers had some genuinely impressive ideas.

Unfortunately, ideas don’t make Batman walk properly.

Spoiler Warning

Everything below this point contains full spoilers for Batman & Robin.

Although if you’ve watched the movie?

Congratulations.

You already know most of this shit.

Spoilers

The game follows many of the major events and villain plots from the movie, but instead of simply presenting them in a linear order, it makes the player investigate the crimes.

Mr. Freeze is committing robberies involving diamonds because he needs them to power his technology. Batman has to collect clues from crime scenes and determine where Freeze will attack next.

This should be awesome.

You’re basically reconstructing a supervillain’s plan.

But because the game communicates information so poorly, the detective gameplay can become a giant guessing game.

You find evidence.

You inspect it.

You stare at the screen.

Batman stares at the screen.

We’re both confused.

Eventually, you can determine where Freeze will strike and attempt to intercept him.

If you’re late?

Well.

The game continues.

The villain isn’t going to sit around waiting for Batman to finish driving in circles.

Poison Ivy eventually becomes involved, using her pheromones to manipulate Batman and Robin while continuing her plan to allow plant life to dominate the world.

The tension between Batman and Robin from the movie is recreated, including Robin becoming increasingly frustrated with Batman.

And yes, Bane is involved.

He remains a giant muscular henchman.

What a wonderful interpretation of one of Batman’s smartest villains.

Eventually, the various villain plots collide, leading toward the final confrontation involving Freeze’s plan and Nora.

Batman and the others ultimately have to stop Ivy and deal with Freeze.

The ending follows the basic resolution from the movie. Batman reveals that Ivy tried to kill Nora, Freeze turns against her, and Nora’s condition becomes the key to convincing Freeze to help save Alfred.

So yes.

The game’s story isn’t exactly the problem.

The problem is surviving the gameplay long enough to see it.

And after watching the rest of this game, I kept thinking about how close some of these ideas were to concepts later Batman games would use considerably better.

Open-world Gotham?

Arkham City and Arkham Knight.

Batman investigating crimes?

The Arkham games.

Using the Batmobile to travel Gotham?

Arkham Knight.

Multiple Bat-family characters?

Several later Batman games.

This game had pieces of the future.

It just had absolutely no idea how to put them together.

It’s almost impressive.

Batman & Robin looked at the future of Batman games, saw several fantastic ideas…

…and then Batman waddled directly into a wall because I pressed forward.

1/10.

Now somebody please locate the Bat-Bathroom. 🦇💩