So we’ve finally made it…..remember how I said there’s 3 2022 Pinocchio films?

Disney’s Pinocchio remake 

Del Toros Pinocchio 

Pauly Shore Pinocchio 

Well today we’ve finally made it to Del Toros Pinocchio and by far this is the best one out of the 3….plz enjoy the trailer its worth it…

Well firstly where do I begin this is definitely a different take on Pinocchio that’s for sure…..like bravo Del Toro u did something different with this sorce material….firstly I’m not gonna keep giving a run down of the plot of Pinocchio I feel like we already know it plus I’ve reviewed 2 other Pinocchio films before this as u can see……so instead ilk be listing what he does differently in this film compared to the other Pinocchio adaptations….so let’s begin, firstly the biggest addition to this film is we start the film off with Geppetto and his son…no not Pinocchio but his previous son …..yeah ok that’s definitely different I’ll take it, so we see how close Geppetto was to his son ans all that….but then on one day bombings from airplanes were happening aeound them because this film for some reason takes place during world War 2…..which is another unique take on this if u ask me…anyways so they both where just in church, Geppetto makes it out the building but his son doesn’t and unfortunately a bomb drops, blowing the building up including his son so he burries his son under a tree he started to plant with a seed his son gave him earlier that day…….welp were definitely starting this film on a depressing note now aren’t we?…..anyways next difference well there’s a side nazi general who wants his son to join in his foot steps also who’s a major dick to his son…but nothing his son does impresses him….wow sounds like a good father huh?….anyways third difference when Geppetto sees Pinocchio is alive….we get the most realistic response from him…..his mortified at Pinocchio….yeah understandable also thank u this has to be the most realistic reaction that we’ve seen from Geppetto because other versions of him just look at Pinocchio and be like huh hm yeah this is normal pffttttt……so he wants nothing to do with Pinocchio in this film….understandable, and Probably for good reasons because dear lord Pinocchio looks horrifying In this film he looks like an uneven poorly nailed together human kid shaped wood with raggedy wooden head….and carved wooden eyes…yeah I’d be horrified as well if I saw that moving!!…..oh if u don’t think that’s horrifying enough guess what this Pinocchio is made out of? The tree he planted over his son’s corpse…..hmmm let that image sink into yall heads…..also third addition to this film, Pinocchio dirs not once not twice but 3 times….yeah dies…..he dies 3 times in this film, the only time I remember how he died was he first gets run over by a car and guess who’s riding the car? That Nazi general dude…….oh lovely, and guess what excuse he comes up with for accidentally running over Pinocchio….well it’s ur fault Geppetto for letting ur son on the road!…..wow father of the year am I, right? Anyway, so Pinocchio wakes up in hell….I wish I was kidding about that, there he meets the fairy sister who tells Pinocchio he’s immortal…..oh joy a walking talking demonic looking piece of wood who is also immortal……ahhhhh, anyways but there’s a downside every time he dies the amount of time it takes for him to be revived increases……so anyways he wakes up back in Geppetto house……unfortunately, the Nazis now want Pinocchio to enlist into the army because an immortal being fighting for them will help them win the war…oh lovely, so Geppetto calls his son a burden….oofff that’s not how ur supposed to treat ur demonic wooden son…..so he gets sent to war training camp to learn to fight…also guess who else is there? The nazis son…..he tells Pinocchio he’s there because his father forced him even though his mother begged her husband not to take there kid to war……so they start going through the training games, only 1 can become a winner bur both Pinocchio ans the boy determines they both should win together so they bring the flag back to his dad and says we both won….which his dad is like oh who said that’s a thing?….now son here’s my gun and shoot Pinocchio……which his son refuses……then his dad says ur a disgrace and not my son…..wow what a douchebag……so then as soon as the guy is about to shoot Pinocchio guess what happens, things ampt up by 20 very fast…..planes come by shooting bombs, one Lands near them…..it launches the general into the air and he lands into a spike getting impaled Jesus lord and Pinocchio gets sent all the way at the bottom of the ocean cliff….where there who’s waiting for him is the circus owner who tried using him earlier by keeping him in the circus working for him without paying him or his dad although he said he was gonna pay them……btw this circus guy has a monkey  and if u think that nothing can go wrong with a monkey? Well for u see the circus owner physically abuses the monkey…..dear lord this film is dark….so the circus owene ties Pinocchio onto a wooden cross, starts lighting it up but the monkey decides to betray his owner ans help Pinocchio….so the monkey unties Pinocchio then pushes his owner including himself over the cliff….did the monkey survive? Well yes but the guy sure as heck didn’t….he fell splat onto rocks…..dear lord, anyways so we know what happens next…..Geppetto and Pinocchio get chased by a whale blah blah blah but what I want to point out instead is the film ends on a bitter sweet end…..the film ends with Pinocchio living out his life never growing old but he watches Jiminy Cricket die, then Geppetto die then the monkey die…..Jesus lord then he has all three burried on a hill where he just walks off into the sun set and the end…..wow uhh that’s just a depressing ending….overall this has to be the best Pinocchio film we got in 2022 I highly recommend u check this out it’s on Netflix….just don’t watch it if ur a kid, I don’t want to be responsible for kids being traumatized…….anyways score is uh 9/10