Kung Fu Panda 4 (2024) 🥟 “The panda returns… but should he have?” Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? Since this is a Universal film, Y’all know what that means? Cue the Universal Logo! — 🌸 Non-Spoiler Plot Rundown Po (Jack Black) is told by Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) that it’s time for…
Category: Fever Dream
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) 🥟 “When pandas multiply, the story divides.” Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🌸 Non-Spoiler Plot Rundown Po (Jack Black) discovers he has a long-lost biological father, Li Shan (Bryan Cranston), who whisks him away to a hidden panda village. At the same time, the spirit…
Kung Fu Panda Legends Of Awesomeness (2011-2016)
Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness (2011–2016) 🐼 The Beginning of “Something Something Alive” — 🎶 Opening Theme Instead of a cinematic trailer, the show kicks off with its opening theme — and let’s be honest, it’s infamous. Jack Black isn’t here, so his soundalike belts out:“He lives and trains with the Furious Five, protects…
Kingsmen The Golden Circle (2017)
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) 🍔 Or: The One That Made Me Never Want to Eat a Burger Again — 🎬 Let’s start with showing y’all the trailers, shall we? The trailers made this look like another stylish, cheeky, British spy romp—Eggsy in his suit, gadgets galore, Channing Tatum front and center as the cool…
Argylle (2024)
Argylle (2024) Spycraft by Mad Libs: four plot twists and a cat walk into a screenplay… Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? Since this is a Universal film, Y’all know what that means? Cue the Universal Logo! 🎬 A Director Who Can’t Get Out of His Own Way Let’s talk about Matthew…
The King’s Man (2021)
The King’s Man (2021) 🪦 Or: How to Accidentally Make a War Drama, a Meme Dance Video, and a Sheep Commercial All in One Movie — 🎬 Let’s start with showing y’all the trailers, shall we? The trailers promised us a stylish, over-the-top Kingsman prequel. You know, more umbrella fights, slick suits, British sass. What…
Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva la Fiesta! (2012)
Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva la Fiesta! (2012) 🐶 From Warrior Dogs to… Doggy Spa Packages — 🎬 Trailer Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview Chloe, Papi, and the whole Chihuahua family move into a luxury dog-friendly hotel. Instead of robberies or Aztec temples, the story centers…
Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 (2011)
Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 (2011) 🐶 From Papi’s Love Poems to Delgado’s Trauma Dump — 🎬 Trailer Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview The sequel drops the Aztec warrior lore (probably too expensive) and swaps it for “puppies and family values.” Chloe and Papi are now parents…
Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)
Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008) 🐶 The Chihuahuas Will Rise — and So Will Your Eyebrows — 🎬 Trailers Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview On paper, it’s “rich lady’s spoiled Chihuahua gets lost in Mexico and has to find her way home.” In practice, it’s a Disney…
The Call Of The Wild (2020)
The Call of the Wild (2020) When your co-star is an uncanny valley nightmare — 🎥 Opening Let’s start with showing you all the trailers, shall we? — Non-Spoiler Thoughts This movie is such a weird contradiction. On one hand, it’s visually stunning — sweeping shots of snowy landscapes, rivers, mountains, and a kind of…
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