Jarrod Reviews

The Conjuring 2

The Conjuring 2 (2016) 👻 The beginning of the Nun-iverse nobody asked for 👻 — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? The Real Case vs. The Movie The Conjuring 2 is based on the Enfield Poltergeist case from 1977 in England. In reality, two sisters in the Hodgson family claimed to…

The Curse Of La Llorona

The Curse of La Llorona (2019) America takes Mexican folklore, dunks it in chlorine, and calls it horror. — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 📚 Folklore vs. Film The Legend: La Llorona is one of Mexico’s most famous ghost stories — the “weeping woman” who drowned her children after heartbreak…

Annabelle Comes Home

Annabelle Comes Home (2019) The world’s first R-rated PG movie 🙄 — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 😬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview This one’s rough. This is by far the weakest of the Annabelle trilogy, and honestly one of the weakest in the Conjuring universe period. It’s supposed to be…

The Conjuring

The Conjuring (2013) 👻 Happy thoughts don’t kill demons… apparently. 👻 — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? 🎬 Opening 10 Minutes This film wastes no time messing with your nerves. We open on the Warrens explaining the backstory of Annabelle — yeah, that doll. In real life she was a…

Annabelle

Annabelle (2014) The Doll That Does Absolutely Nothing 😴 — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 😬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview This movie is supposed to be the terrifying origin of the Annabelle doll. Instead, it’s basically a snooze-fest where a porcelain doll sits around doing nothing while the script tries…

Annabelle Creation

Annabelle: Creation (2017) Finally, they got one right 😱 — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 😬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview This is by far the best Annabelle movie. Unlike the first one where the doll just sat around like a creepy paperweight, this one actually goes full throttle: it’s intense,…

The Nun

The Nun (2018) “Catholic jump scares: the movie” — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 😬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview This film is supposed to tell us the origins of Valak, the creepy nun from The Conjuring 2. Sounds promising, right? Except it’s really not. A young nun-in-training (Taissa Farmiga) and…

Goat Simulator 3

Oh boy where do I even start off with this one……well firstly yes yall if u can’t tell this is a sequel to the original Goat Simulator game and no there was never a Goat Simulator 2…..the title Goat Simulator 3 is a joke….making fun at how yeah we know we didn’t make a Goat…

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

Let’s start of with a trailer here…. So where do I begin…..well this film does have moments that would traumatize kids…..I wish I was kidding, but this film opens up with our main character Newt searching for a magical creature that can just by looking at u tell if ur evil or not……how convenient, anyways but what’s…

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald

Oh boy this movie is horrible…. let me tell u why…its because this movie Rercons so many moments from the Harry Potter books and movies….idk how…I mean JK Rowling wrote the script for this movie…oh that explains it all…I believe that JK Rowling has lost her marbles in the last past 5 or so years…so…