G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra (2009)

💥G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)🎬 “The toy commercial that accidentally wandered into a PG-13 fever dream” 🪖💥🐍 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — Non-Spoiler Rundown If you thought G.I. Joe was going to be a light, fun, campy action flick for kids, 2009 Paramount had other plans — namely,…

Transformers Rise of The Beasts (2023)

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) 🦍🤖🚗 “Michael Bay, take notes — this is how you do robots without giving us a migraine.” — Let’s Start by Showing Y’all the Trailers, Shall We? 🎥 Trailer: — Non-Spoiler Rundown You know how for years the Transformers movies were like a blender full of metal shrapnel, bad…

Transformers The Last Knight (2017)

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) Michael Bay’s “Game of Thrones” but with Robots and Explosions 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — The Setup By The Last Knight, the franchise had officially stopped pretending to care about continuity. We open with a scene straight out of a medieval fever dream —…

Transformers Age of Extinction (2014)

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) “When Michael Bay decided… you know what this franchise needs? Mark Wahlberg and statutory loopholes.” Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 🎥💥 — 🚗💥 Before We Dive In So… the fourth Transformers movie. And right away, I’ve got to tell you—if you thought things were getting messy…

Transformers Dark Of The Moon (2011)

🎬Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)💥 “When Michael Bay Made Saving Private Ryan… But with Robots” — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailer, shall we? 🎥🍿 — Non-Spoiler Rundown So here we are, third film in, and I can honestly say this is the best Michael Bay Transformers movie since the first one… but…

Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

🎬Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)💥 “When Robots, Jockstraps, and Testicle Jokes Collide”Or: How to spend $200 million and still make it feel like a fever dream. — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 🎥💣 This is the point in the franchise where everything hit the fan—and by “everything” I mean plot,…

Transformers (2007)

💥Transformers (2007)💥 “Michael Bay’s Explosive Robot Soap Opera”Where plot takes a backseat to pyrotechnics and lens flares. — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 🎥💥 Ah yes, the film that kicked off what would become one of Hollywood’s loudest and most chaotic blockbuster franchises. Back when people still thought, “Hey, Michael Bay…

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (2003)

🌀 Power Rangers: Ninja Storm Review (2003) 🌀 Let’s start by showing y’all the opening theme song, shall we? 🎶 It’s upbeat, fast-paced, and feels like the Power Rangers equivalent of an energy drink — easily one of the catchiest themes of the Disney era. — 📜 Spoiler-Free Rundown We open with a trio of…

Power Rangers SPD (2005)

⚡️🛡️ Power Rangers SPD Review (2005)  🚨🐶 Let’s start by showing y’all the opening theme song, shall we? 🎵 …Yeah, it’s not the worst theme in Power Rangers history, but it’s firmly in the “serviceable” zone. Gets the job done, but it’s not an earworm like the classics. — 🌌 General Premise SPD takes the…

Power Rangers Samurai (2011)

🥋 Power Rangers Samurai (2011)⚡️ “The art of fighting… without the art of keeping my attention.” — 🎵 Let’s Start by Showing Y’all the Opening Theme Song, Shall We? I’m sorry what? Did I just hear that correctly? Did they reuse the Go Go Power Rangers theme from MMPR? Go Feck off! — 🎬 Spoiler-Free…