A Christmas Story (1983) “All I want for Christmas… is for someone to tell Ralphie he will, in fact, survive without a BB gun.” 🎞️ Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🎄 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview A Christmas Story is one of those movies that America treats like sacred scripture every December.It’s…
Category: Never Again
Red One (2024)
Red One (2024) “When Christmas Magic Meets… Absolutely Nothing New.” 🎞️ Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? (And yes — this review is late. But honestly, this movie wasn’t exactly begging me to rush out a masterpiece critique.) Because there is clearly not enough Christmas movies, I mean seriously at this point…
Silent Night (2012)
Silent Night (2012) – Review 🎄 “Santa’s coming to town… and he brought a flamethrower.” — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 🎥 — ⚠️ WARNING This movie is violent, bloody, and absolutely not for everyone.It’s a sleazy holiday slasher — just a heads up before you dive in. — 🎄 Non-Spoiler…
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991)
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991) 🎄 This is what happens when Christmas horror drops acid. — 🎄 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailer, shall we? — ⚠️ Content Warning: This movie is bonkers, delightfully unhinged, and has several moments of “what in the fresh holiday hell did I just watch?”Not…
Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990)
🎄 Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990) “The one where Christmas is a suggestion, bugs are everywhere, and nothing makes sense.” Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 🎬 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview If you’re expecting a slasher about a killer Santa, you’re gonna be VERY confused.Part 4 basically yeets the entire…
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989)
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989) “The coma-Santa movie nobody asked for.” — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? 🎥🍿 — ⚠️ WARNING: This movie is NOT for everyone.Not because it’s gory (it’s honestly not).But because it’s so bizarrely slow, confusing, and cheap that it might break your brain…
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987) 🎄 “Ho ho ho, Garbage Day!” Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING This film contains violence, murder, and some very questionable acting choices.Also… the movie is basically 40% recycled footage from the first film, so if you value your time or…
Silent Night (2023)
Silent Night (2023) – Review 🎄🌲 🎄 “John Woo said ‘what if Home Alone grew up, joined a biker gang, and stopped talking?’” 🎄 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? No, nothing related to the classic horror slasher Silent Night. — ⚠️ Warning Before We Begin ⚠️ This movie is extremely violent….
Black Christmas (2019)
Black Christmas (2019) 🎄🔪 “The remake that tried to say something… and said nothing.” 🎬 Let’s Start by Showing Y’all the Trailers, Shall We? Since this is a Universal film, Y’all know what that means? Cue the Universal Logo! ⚠️ Content Warning This movie deals with assault themes, cult imagery, and violence.It’s also… incredibly messy…
Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)
🎄🔪 Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) When Santa upgrades from milk and cookies to murder and carnage. — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 🎬 — ⚠️ Warning This movie is loud, vulgar, neon-drenched, soaked in alcohol and attitude, and absolutely not for everyone.If you don’t like abrasive characters, grindhouse vibes, or metal-album…
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