House Of Gucci: Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we?

Ok yeah time to rip the bandage off and review 5his film once and for all, but I do need to make a disclaimer. Fair warning, I never cared about the Gucci brand. Like at all, it’s never fascinated me.

Nor has it ever appealed to me, heck the only reason I went to see this film was because a friend of mine wanted to go and I wanted to hang out with them, safe to say I regret those nearly 3 hours. I won’t be getting those back, unfortunately.

Let me put this in perspective I wanted to fall asleep but I couldn’t because we went to see this film in the Dolby Imax (my mistake) because I couldn’t sleep due to that theatre room being loud as all hell.

BTW another disclaimer since I don’t care to remember the main character’s names nor do I care to go look it up. I’m just gonna call these characters by the actors’ names.

So we got,

Lady Gaga (I will say this if u look up an image of the real person she’s portraying in this film, they nailed it in casting and the makeup, she looks 100% authentic. Now does she sound authentic? Idk I never heard any footage of the real person she portrays, nor do I care to)

(But she does a phenomenal job in this film, hands down the best part of the film)

Side note, I heard the way she prepared for this role was just bizarre, so get this she decided to go live in Italy for a whole year.

But decided to not read the Gucci book to get any knowledge of what role she’s gonna be playing in, or go visit any of thr Gucci brand.

That’s not preparations, that’s a glorified Vacation.

Adam Driver (he’s alright I guess, nothing bad but also nothing great)

Jared Leto (oh boy more on him later) (But he essentially a cartoon in this film)

Jeremy Irons (oh what are u doing here? Did u need the money?) (Also he doesn’t even try an Italian accent, he sounds more British than anything)

Al Pacino (might sound extremely stupid but for a long while I thought that was the name of a coffee, whoops)

(also how dare u hire the world’s most talented actor such as Al Pacino and put him next to Jared Leto and what he does in this film)

(Also his accent fluctuates throughout this film, meaning it goes in and out. Scratch that everyone’s accent in this film goes in and out except for Jared Leto)

So what’s the plot rundown? Also don’t worry we’re definitely gonna discuss the elephant in the room here.

So essentially the plot boils down to this, Adam Driver comes from a wealthy family, and he falls in love with Lady Gaga, but his dad Jeremy Irons is against him dating her so he cuts him off.

Doesn’t matter to Adam Driver because he’s happy to be with Lady Gaga, after his father’s passing. One of his relatives Al Pacino helps them out, and eventually both Adam Driver and Lady Gaga open up a clothing business named Gucci.

Why Gucci? Because it’s his last name, oh, and how does Jared Leto fit into all this?

Well time to talk about him, he’s the black sheep of the family, he wants to make his own clothing, but no one in his family takes him seriously.

They don’t like the way his clothing designs look, especially Jeremy Irons, however, Gaga does praise him for his clothing design.

Can’t tell if she’s bullshitting him or is genuine. Now let’s talk about that damn accent of his, oh lord the accent.

How do I say this, folks this was an accidental comedy. As soon as Jared Leto as Paolo Gucci pops on screen (yes I only remember his character’s name because of how Goofy he is in this film).

As soon as he popped up in the film, my enjoyment went up a bit, every time he talked I laughed because the accent he was going for it sure as hell didn’t sound like an Italian accent, keep in mind he’s supposed to be playing an Italian.

No, instead it sounds like he’s playing a live-action Super Mario, like did he play Mario to get his Italian accent inspiration?

Here’s a clip just to prove to y’all what I am even saying.

“These are just mook-ups”

I’m almost half expecting him to say It’s A-me Mari-o.

This is just insulting, look I’m not an excerpt in Italian accent or language but I can tell this ain’t that.

This feels like a parody, something u would see in an SNL skit.

This is a stereotype, as I said this is Mario. Also, the way they have Paolo Gucci look like with all this makeup and prosthetics does make him look like Mario.

A balding Mario but still, also here’s a back-to-back image of Paolo Gucci in this film compared to his real-life counterpart.

SMH, they did this man dirty, as u can tell this ain’t at all what he looks like in real life, it feels less like he’s portraying a character and more like portraying a caricature.

The prosthetics they put on him look extremely Goofy, not in the best way possible. Also, people said Jared Leto should get an award for this role, why? No seriously why? “Does-a this get on ur-a nerve?’ If it does then I’m trying to figure out how people thought that’s an Oscar worthy winner.

But I won’t deny I did get a good laugh out of seeing him on screen, I needed that otherwise I probably would have fallen asleep, because the whole entire film is essentially this romance drama film that’s about how the Gucci brand came to be.

If that doesn’t appeal to u then this film ain’t gonna do it for u, but plz go on the internet and look up Jared Leto’s scenes from the film, u will get a good laugh. Or u might get secondhand embarrassment, who knows.

I think now the better question is we’re u entertained by this film? Not saying the film is great or good, just saying you’re u entertained.

If u aren’t getting entertainment from hearing Jared Leto’s laughable Mario accent, or Jeremy Irons not even trying to do an Italian accent at all, instead does a British accent.

Then this film isn’t really enjoyable. Well again that depends on what ur looking for, all I know y’all might like slow-burn stories about drama.

Don’t come in saying oh u like fast paste films and u have no patience for a slow-burner, y’all I watched Oppenheimer which is nothing but a 3 hour slow-burn and watched Killers Of The Flower Moon which is nothing but a 3 ans a half hour slow-burn, and came our enjoying those films more then this one.

But hey maybe this film isn’t made for me, but hey maybe it’s meant for u? Idk, anyway so how would I rate this film? Well if I’m rating this film as a comedy then this film easily gets a solid 10/10.

Greatest accidental comedy I’ve seen, but if I’m rating this neither as a comedy nor as a serious drama film then yeah no this film gets a 2/10, it’s just not good.

Warning spoilers ahead y’all been warned ⚠️.
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Time to spoil the 3rd act and any revelations, so Lady Gagas character befriends a gypsy who tells her future to her, they both come up with a scheme to kill off her husband.

So they hired 2 people who I can only describe as looking like the Italian versions of Jasper and Horace from 101 Dalmatians, to do the dirty work.

Why does she want her husband dead? Well, he gets a divorce because he doesn’t love her anymore, because she might been manipulative.

She wants the money essentially, especially since they recently had a kid. He says he will still pay for them to help them financially, that’s still not enough for Lady Gaga though.

So the Italian versions of Jasper and Horace find Adam Driver walking up to a court house and they shoot him in broad daylight, so shocker when I say this but Lady Gaga along with her friend and their 2 goonises get arrested.

Of course, Lady Gaga’s character gets sentenced to prison along with her friend and goonies, and the Gucci brand gets brought by Investcorp. With no remaining Gucci members still alive, yeah that part weirded me out because why still call it Gucci?

Eh idk how businesses work nor will I pretend to understand it, anyways Al Pacino’s character died later on from prostate cancer, and Paolo Gucci died in poverty after selling his shares in the company.

Anyway the end, I hope y’all enjoyed this review. Heck, I hope some y’all enjoyed this film because I sure as heck didn’t, anyway till next time.