Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) Michael Bay’s “Game of Thrones” but with Robots and Explosions 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — The Setup By The Last Knight, the franchise had officially stopped pretending to care about continuity. We open with a scene straight out of a medieval fever dream —…
Category: So Bad It’s Bad
Transformers Age of Extinction (2014)
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) “When Michael Bay decided… you know what this franchise needs? Mark Wahlberg and statutory loopholes.” Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 🎥💥 — 🚗💥 Before We Dive In So… the fourth Transformers movie. And right away, I’ve got to tell you—if you thought things were getting messy…
Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)
🎬Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)💥 “When Robots, Jockstraps, and Testicle Jokes Collide”Or: How to spend $200 million and still make it feel like a fever dream. — Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? 🎥💣 This is the point in the franchise where everything hit the fan—and by “everything” I mean plot,…
Sinister 2 (2015)
Sinister 2 (2015) “The Baguul Cut: The Curse of the Artsy Child Snuff Film Returns (and Flops Hard)” — 🎬 Let’s Start by Showing Y’all the Trailers, Shall We? BTW yeah this is the only good part of this film, the trailer. — 🧃 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview In Sinister 2, we follow a new family—mom…
Slenderman (2018)
😐🪵 “Tall, Pale, and Pointless” — Slender Meh (2018) Review — 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — 🧵 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview: A group of high school girls in a small town randomly summon a tall, faceless horror icon named Slender Man by watching a creepy video online. They begin to…
The Bye Bye Man (2017)
☠️ Don’t Think It. Don’t Say It. Don’t Watch It. ☠️ (A review of The Bye Bye Man, aka Slender-Man-Lite™) Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — Non-Spoiler Plot Overview A trio of college students move into a suspiciously cheap off-campus house (RED FLAG #1), where they uncover an evil name written…
Truth Or Dare (2017)
🎲 “Truth or Dare? More like a Demon decided to become a frat bro” Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — Non-Spoiler Plot Overview A group of college students on spring break in Mexico stumble upon a game of “Truth or Dare” that just so happens to be cursed by a literal…
The Grudge (2020)
🪦 The Grudge (2020): You Get a Curse! You Get a Curse! Everyone Gets a Curse! 🪦 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — 📌 Disclaimer Before We BeginThis review is for the 2020 American remake/sequel/whatever-the-hell-this-is. Not the original Japanese Ju-On film, because truth be told… I’ve never seen the Japanese…
Sadako VS Kayako (2016)
👻 SADAKO VS. KAYAKO (2016) 🎬 “Freddy vs. Jason Walked So This Could Trip Over Itself” — 🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? Yes, this was real. Yes, someone said “greenlight it” with a straight face. — ❗Quick Note Before We Begin: Yep—we’re doing it. We’re talking about Sadako vs. Kayako……
Manos The Hands Of Fate
🖐️ Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) 🤚 aka “Hands: The Hands of Fate”… because one ‘hand’ just wasn’t enough, apparently. 🕯 In Memory of Maddie 🕯This review is dedicated to my friend Maddie—an unapologetic lover of the absurd, the unwatchable, and the unintentionally hilarious. While most people fled from bad movies, she ran toward…
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