Death on the Nile (2022) “A Gorgeous Cruise With No Destination” — 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we? — 📝 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview Detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) returns for another round of extravagant sleuthing, this time aboard a glamorous cruise ship sailing the Nile. A newlywed couple’s honeymoon turns into…
Category: Never Again
Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
🚂 Murder on the Orient Express (2017) A mystery that derails before the final stop — 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview Agatha Christie’s classic novel gets another lavish adaptation, this time with Kenneth Branagh directing and starring as Hercule Poirot — the man with the…
See How They Run (2022)
🎭 See How They Run (2022) A whodunit that whodidn’t — 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? — 📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview London, 1950s. The West End theater scene is buzzing with The Mousetrap. Everything’s dramatic, champagne glasses clink, backstage egos clash—then boom, a murder happens. Adrien Brody’s sleazy director Leo…
Suburbicon (2017)
Suburbicon (2017) “When the Trailer Sells You One Movie and the Theater Hands You Another” — 🎬 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? “Oh, you thought this was a quirky Coen Brothers comedy about a well-mannered dad in over his head? Cute. What you actually get is Matt Damon playing the sleaziest…
Jojo Rabbit (2019)
Jojo Rabbit (2019) 🐇 When Nazis Become Sitcom Characters and Hitler Becomes Bugs Bunny — ⚠️ Content Warning This review discusses Jojo Rabbit, a film that trivializes Nazism and portrays Adolf Hitler as a comedic character. Because of that, many of the topics — including depictions of the Gestapo, the Holocaust, and anti-Semitism — may…
Scooby-Doo Return To Zombie Island (2019)
Scooby-Doo! Return to Zombie Island (2019) From Gothic Horror Masterpiece to Soulless, Corporate Slop — 🎬 Trailer Let’s start with showing you the trailer, shall we? Yeah if ur rubbed off the wrong way just by this trailer, then this film will do nothing for y’all. — 📝 Non-Spoiler Thoughts This movie is a betrayal….
The Deep House (2021)
🌊 The Deep House (2021) “Haunted Mansions Are Scary Enough… Try Breathing Through a Tank” Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? 🎥 Non-Spoiler Overview I’ll be straight up: I am never watching this movie again. Not because it’s bad — but because I’ve got a phobia of deep water and dark spaces….
Terrified (2017)
👻 Terrified (2017) – Horror That Gets Under Your Skin 🎬 Let’s Start with the Trailer, Shall We? — 📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview Terrified (original title: Aterrados) is an Argentinian horror film that digs deep into primal dread. It’s not about cheap jump scares or predictable haunted house tropes — it’s about the sheer terror…
Monster: Ed Gein (2025)
Monster: The Ed Gein Story (2025) …Ryan Murphy’s “Monster Universe” finally hits rock bottom 💀🤦♂️ — ⚠️ Disclaimer Yeah, remember when I said I wasn’t gonna watch or review this? Well… I lied. Or more like, I caved. I had to see if it was somehow worse than Dahmer and Menéndez. (Spoiler: it is.) But…
Monster: The Menéndez Brothers (2023)
🩸 Monster: The Menéndez Brothers (2023) — 🎬 Trailers First Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? The trailers marketed this as a “true crime re-examination.” But the glossy visuals and Netflix prestige-porn vibe told you exactly what this was going to be — another attempt to turn real tragedy into bingeable soap…
Judicious Jarrod's Every-Flavor Entertainment and Media Reviews 