The Bride! (2026)

The Bride! (2026) 🎭

Here comes the mother-f*ing Bride… and about six other movies fighting for attention.




Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we? 🎬



The trailer made this look like a pretty straightforward Bonnie and Clyde type Frankenstein story set in 1930s Chicago. You see gangster imagery, the Bride and Frankenstein’s creature on the run, police chasing them, some romance, some crime.

Simple premise, right?

Yeah… that is not the movie we get.

Because instead what we get is a film juggling six to seven different genres all at once and somehow trying to be:

a Bonnie & Clyde reinvention of the Frankenstein story

a love story

a crime story

a satire

a tragedy

a feminist examination of patriarchal society in the 1930s

a meta commentary about Mary Shelley’s legacy

a black comedy

and at times even a musical

Also on top of tjat, this film feels like joker 2 folie à deux was trying to be like

What Poor Things was trying to be

If you ask me if y’all wanna go watch a different interpretation of the Frankenstein mythos, go watch Poor Things (granted i didn’t like that movie as much, but I prefer that over this, at least that had a vision, while this film has 10 to 12 different visions).


Yes.

All of that. In one movie.

And if you couldn’t tell already…

This movie is white noise.

Also how many Frankenstein Adaptations do we need?




Non-Spoiler Plot Overview 📖

I’m gonna be honest here.

I actually have no idea what the plot of this movie is.

No really.

If someone stopped me on the street and asked me what the plot was I’d probably say something like:

> Mary Shelley possesses a girl, kills her so she can finish her Frankenstein story, then that girl comes back as Frankenstein’s Bride in a Bonnie and Clyde style story where she and the creature go on the run, accidentally start a feminist revolution, get chased by detectives, and the movie also turns into a musical.



And if I said that to someone they would probably look at me and say:

> “Yeah I’m gonna skip that.”



So I actually had to look up the plot to try to make something coherent out of it.

And the official plot description is literally this:

> In 1930s Chicago, Frankenstein asks Dr. Euphronius to help create a companion. They give life to a murdered woman as the Bride, sparking romance, police interest, and radical social change.



That’s it.

And honestly I don’t blame the internet for that short description because the trailer promised a straightforward Bonnie and Clyde story with gangster imagery.

Instead what we get is a movie throwing six or seven different genres at the wall and hoping something sticks.

Btw the film essentially opens up with the ghost of Mary Shelley saying, Here comes the Mother Fucking Bride.

Well if that doesnt set the tone, then nothing will. Also if you want to leave now? The door is right behind you.




Character Rundown 🎭

Frankenstein’s Creature / Frank — Christian Bale

Christian Bale is great.

No surprise there. I mean come on, he reinvented batman for a whole generation, heck major respect to mr. Bale, in an interview he said he doesnt compare his Frankenstein creature to Jacob Elordi creature from last years Del Toro’s Frankenstein, good on him.

The design is actually interesting too. He walks around in the city wearing a coat, sunglasses, a fedora and a bandana over his mouth trying to hide his identity.

But I do have one complaint.

Why does he sound like he desperately needs a cough drop?

His voice is so raspy that at some point I was just sitting there thinking:

> Can someone please give this man a cough drop?



Still though, Bale is great even when the movie around him is going completely off the rails.




Ida / The Bride / Mary Shelley — Jessie Buckley

The actress is great.

But the character?

Annoying.

Half the time I couldn’t even understand what she was saying because:

she has an accent I couldn’t place

she blurts out sentences extremely fast

and whenever Mary Shelley takes over she starts twitching and acting weird


The best description I can come up with is:

Mary Shelley Tourette’s.

No disrespect intended — that is just literally what the performance looks like in the movie.

She will suddenly switch from talking normally to blurting out something like:

> “Ok everyone shut up and get on the floor — hey can I get a drink up in here?!”



And at some point my brain just stopped trying to process anything.

Also try making sense of this, if Mary Shelley exists in this world. Then why does the creature also exist? Yeah I hate loophole logics like this one.

Also yes I hate the whole Mary Shelley ghost possessing a woman just to finish her novel, like sorry huh? So Mary Shelley here just exists to be kinda mean spirited. Got it, thanks I guess.




Dr. Cornelia Euphronius — Annette Bening

This is the doctor Frankenstein goes to when he wants a Bride created.

She’s one of the more interesting characters because she already attempted resurrection once before.

She explains that she previously revived her husband.

But he came back different.

So she had to put him down.

Like putting down a sick dog.

Which is actually a pretty dark and interesting idea that the movie just kind of… tosses in and moves past.

Another example of the movie throwing ideas at the wall.




Detective Jake Wiles — Peter Sarsgaard

This is where the movie suddenly turns into a 1930s detective noir film.

Out of nowhere.

We suddenly get this male detective investigating the murders.

And then the movie reveals he knew Ida before she died.

And my reaction to that was basically:

> Wait… where did this come from?



Because the movie introduces this backstory pretty late and then barely does anything with it.

Another subplot picked up and then dropped on the floor.




Detective Myrna Mallow — Penélope Cruz

She’s the other detective on the case.

And she eventually becomes the main detective chasing the Bride and Frankenstein.

She also ends up playing a pretty big role in the ending.

But again this whole detective storyline feels like it wandered in from a completely different movie.

Every time these 2 detectives came on screen, I was half expecting to hear inner monologuing and that saxophone music






Lupino — Zlatko Burić

The mob boss.

Yes.

There is also a mob boss storyline in this movie.

Because apparently this movie didn’t have enough genres already.

And this guy is cartoonishly evil.

He literally collects tongues in jars.

Because sure.

Why not.




Pacing / Story Flow ⏱️

The best word I can describe this movie with is still:

White noise.

There are good ideas in here.

But the movie throws every single one of them at the wall.

We have:

Bonnie and Clyde crime story

detective noir investigation

mob boss revenge plot

feminist revolution

Mary Shelley possession meta story

tragic Frankenstein romance

random dance scenes


All happening in the same movie.

And visually the movie looks like something you would see in an Andy Warhol museum.

Very avant-garde.

Very stylized.

But narratively?

Total chaos.

At one point my brain literally said:

> You know what I don’t care anymore I can’t figure this s*** out.






Pros 👍

The movie is gorgeous

No denying this.

The cinematography is great.

Visually the movie is stunning.

Christian Bale

He’s great.

Even when the movie is falling apart around him he is still delivering a strong performance.

Jessie Buckley

She is clearly a talented actress.

The problem is not the talent.

It’s the direction and writing.

Where credit is due, im glad that Maggie Gyllenhaal got to make her full movie to her full vision. More directors should be allowed to execute their visions, and im all for that, however.




Cons 👎

Too ambitious

The movie is trying to do too many things at once.

The Mary Shelley concept

This creates massive confusion.

Because the movie says Mary Shelley exists.

Which makes you immediately ask:

> Wait… if Mary Shelley exists then why does Frankenstein’s creature exist?



And then you realize something even weirder.

If Mary Shelley is possessing Ida…

Did Mary Shelley technically marry Frankenstein’s creature?

Yeah.

Now your brain hurts.

Also apparently according to this film, every men is a rapist. Which uhhhhh sure i get it but also have y’all ever heard of subtlety over there in the writing room?

Some things are left unanswered and u will want more maybe, or better yet maybe it’s better the questions are never answered.

I say that the feminists uprising but its definitely not a uprising, its more portrayed as woman going on streets with guns shooting and aiming.

Soooo uh moral of the story, if you want something then uh threaten to kill a person?

If ur good at something dont do it for free.

What, is everyone in this film just awful people? Apparently according to this film

Men are rapists

Woman are unhinged people who like to cause chaos (thats what the film shows btw, and it only lasts all of 10 seconds for one scene then we never go back to this subplot of an uprising).

Wow so nice of ya’ll movie.

Oh and on top of that the mafia in this film just collect girls tongues and put them in clones, hmmmm subtle.

Jeepers, at this point just bring in a racist ans the unholy square will be complete.




The feminist message has zero subtlety

I have nothing against feminist movies. (In fact one my favorite female lead films is Wonderwoman 2017, oh hear we go i already hear. Wait hold up you like Wondereoman 2017? But Gal Gadot she is a horrible actor, firstly just cuz the sequel film is bad doesnt mean the first film is bad, but thats not the point).

But this movie has never heard of subtlety.

There are moments where the Bride literally screams:

> “ME TOO! ME TOO!”



And my brain went:

> Jesus Christ at this point just say hashtag.

Oh speaking of which, the dialog in this film is terrible, you get great lines such as

Whos there?

Mary

Mary who?

Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein

Ughhhhhhhh

Or

Id-a rather not

Get it!? Because our main character is name Ida, so she says Id-a rather not! Subtlety? Never heard of it.






Subplots that go nowhere

The movie introduces:

a revolution

the detective knowing Ida before she died


And then the movie just drops both of those on the floor and walks away.

Also this is a question that I never thought id be uttering today or ever, but it seems every time Ida murders someone it makes Frankie more hot for her, so im just wondering. So uhh wait is murdering people turning you on? Should I be concerned?




Director 🎬

This movie is directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Yes.

The same Maggie Gyllenhaal who played Rachel in The Dark Knight.

And I’ll give her this.

She clearly wanted to make something very avant-garde and artistic.

The movie visually looks like something that belongs in a modern art museum.

But storytelling wise?

It becomes a mess.




Final Thoughts 🧠

I dont think ive ever seen an avant-garde movie that ive walked away from saying I loved that, so im starting to think that genre isnt meant for me

I also got to admit, I dont remember if I laughed or not during this film, look im not being sarcastic or setting up a punchline. I legit don’t remember if I laughed once during this film, and if I cant remember that? Well then I think that in itself lies the problem.

This movie had good ideas.

The problem is it throws all of them at the wall at once.

It looks incredible.

It feels like something you’d see in an Andy Warhol museum.

But narratively it becomes white noise.

When I walked out of the theater I thought:

> “That was weird but fun.”



Then I thought about it the next day and my brain looked at me and said:

> Wait… you actually liked that?



No.

No I did not.

Honestly the main issue is the film feels like it has 12 different genrews trying to fight all at once to take up screen time, the film is really ambitious. But that is as well is its issue, irs trying too much and nothing at the same time and what you end up with is this film.




Rating ⭐

4 / 10




⚠️ Spoiler Warning ⚠️

Major spoilers ahead.




Spoilers 🧟‍♂️

The ending is one of the most predictable things imaginable.

Frank finally admits he lied about knowing Ida before she died.

She understandably gets angry.

He proposes marriage anyway.

Yes.

A proposal.

Without a ring.

She says no.

He gets happy anyway.

Also hold on wait a minute, since Mary Shelley is possessing Ida this entire time, does that mean Mary Shelley married Frankenstein? Uhhhhhhh, you know what i dont want to think about it too long otherwise this will break my mind.

Then the cops show up and shoot Frankenstein in the head.

At that moment I immediately thought:

> Oh I know where this is going.



And yep.

She drags his body back to the doctor to revive him.

Cops show up.

They shoot her multiple times.

Both of them die.

And I just sat there thinking:

> Oh wow so we’re doing Romeo and Juliet.

Also I forgot to mention that The Bride essentially blames the doctor because and I quote, I was never asked to be resurrected, its thanks to you ive done these terrible things.

Right so uh 2 things,

1. What fo u mean you were never asked? You were dead, how does a dead person get the opportunity to be given a choice?

2. Im sorry, what? Are you implying that its thsnks to this doctor that you have become a killer? Thats nuts, your nuts.



Then the female detective conveniently tells everyone to leave the room.

Lightning strikes.

And the final shot is their hands moving and holding each other.

So yeah.

After all that chaos…

The movie ends exactly how I predicted it would.

And I just sat there thinking:

> Oh… so that’s how we’re ending it. Okay.



Oh and quick shout out before I forget.

Jake Gyllenhaal randomly shows up in this movie too.

Because apparently this movie decided it needed another movie star and another genre while it was already juggling everything else.




And that pretty much sums up The Bride! (2026).

A visually gorgeous movie that somehow manages to be

white noise.

Also y’all realize a issue? This film dropped the revolutionary plot and the subplot of the detective guy knowing Ida. Its like the director just dropped those onto the floor and said there you go, and left it there

Here’s the next upcoming WB film im super stoked for (well I say next but we have 1ore in between now till this, that be Lee Cronins The Mummy) but the next WB film im super stoked for has got to be Mortal Kombat 2026, even though the 2021 film sucked.

Here’s the full trailer, yall will probably understand why this looks exciting, I mean were getting Karl Urban as Johnny Cage.

So see y’all then in May.

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