Thanksgiving (2023) 🦃

“Nothing says the holidays like a masked pilgrim serving trauma for dinner.”

🎞️ Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we?

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: This is a mean, gruesome, holiday-themed massacre of a movie. Lots of gore, lots of violence, and a surprising amount of “wow, Eli Roth really woke up and chose chaos.”
Also — yes, I should’ve posted this review on Thanksgiving.
But hindsight is 20/20, and honestly the Pilgrim Killer or gods (whichever y’all belive in) would have judged me if I released this on time.


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🦃 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview

Thanksgiving is Eli Roth finally turning his old Grindhouse fake trailer into a real movie — and weirdly? It works.

The story is simple:
A Black Friday riot goes horribly wrong, people die, and one year later a masked pilgrim slasher starts carving his way through everyone involved.

It blends:

80s slasher formulas

modern brutality

mystery-killer “who’s behind the mask?”

goofy holiday theming


If you love slashers that are both stupid and fun, you’re in the right place.


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🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Character Rundown

Jessica (Nell Verlaque) – A grounded final girl who feels more real than the genre usually allows.

Ryan (Milo Manheim) – Boyfriend who honestly could’ve stayed home but he’s here anyway.

Bobby (Jalen Thomas Brooks) – The ex with emotional weight and tragic backstory.

Sheriff Newlon (Patrick Dempsey) – Likable, suspicious, charming, suspicious again… he rotates.

The Pilgrim Killer – Looks phenomenal. Mask is creepy. Aesthetic is perfect.
Motive?
We’ll talk about that later.



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⏳ Pacing / Episode Flow

Never boring.
Never slow.
The movie runs at “I just drank an entire Red Bull on an empty stomach” energy.

Kills are spaced well, suspense scenes are strong, and the third act goes full carnival insanity.


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👍 Pros

Creative kills — Some of the best slasher kills in recent memory.

Beautiful nastiness — Eli Roth loves practical gore and he delivers.

Halloween-but-Thanksgiving vibe — Cozy fall atmosphere mixed with carnage.

Fun whodunnit clues — You’ll guess wrong at least once.

The Pilgrim design — Genuinely iconic.



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👎 Cons

Some characters are just turkey stuffing — filler.

Tone flip-flops — scary one second, goofy the next.

A couple kills cross from fun to “okay calm down.”

And yes… the killer’s motive is dumb.
Not charming-dumb, not goofy-dumb…
just dumb-dumb.
It tries to be deep social commentary about greed and morality but ends up sounding like a “Facebook uncle rant.”



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🧠 Final Thoughts

Thanksgiving (2023) is the perfect example of a movie where:

The idea is fun

The execution is wild

The motive is dumb

But the ride is great


It’s not prestige horror.
It’s not elevated horror.
It’s not even smart horror.
It’s popcorn, pumpkin-pie chaos — and sometimes that’s all you need.

And yes, this review should’ve gone up on Thanksgiving.
Next year, I’ll pretend it was planned.


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⭐ Rating

Based on your taste (Terrifier, slashers with personality, brutal creativity):

8/10
Fun, gory, dumb in places, but absolutely your kind of holiday carnage.


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⚠️ Spoiler Warning

Stop scrolling unless you’re ready to see who gets stuffed, carved, and flambéed.


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🍗 Spoilers

The movie opens with one of the wildest Black Friday massacre sequences ever filmed — people trampling each other, getting smashed, broken, sliced, folded, crushed by carts, and it’s all because Plymouth shoppers turned into a hungry stampede.

A year later, the Pilgrim Killer starts eliminating everyone involved in that riot.

Highlight kills include:

A woman literally cooked like a Thanksgiving turkey, basted and placed inside an oven.

A cheerleader on a trampoline in a kill straight out of 80s slasher heaven.

A parade float kill that goes insanely hard.

A Thanksgiving table execution setup that is basically Eli Roth saying, “I heard you like themes.”


Throughout the movie, suspects include:

The boyfriend

The ex

The dad

The friend group

Even Jessica herself for a moment


But eventually the killer is revealed to be…

Sheriff Newlon.

And here’s where the motive goes full dumb:

He hated the greed behind the Black Friday violence, saw the riot as proof humanity had “lost its morals,” and decided to go full Pilgrim Punisher to “restore order.”

So basically: “You didn’t shop politely. Now I kill you theatrically.”

It’s dramatic.
It’s thematic.
But it’s also… stupid.

The final showdown features:

A flaming dining room

Jessica escaping while the sheriff burns

But of course his body is never found, because sequels need leftovers.


And that’s Thanksgiving.