🦇🤬 Review a.k.a. “Why Did You Say That Name?!”
Batman VS Superman: so im gonna start off with showing a trailer…….
🧠 Opening Thoughts:
Honestly? This movie is dumb. The concept is dumb. The execution is dumber. And while there are a few cool moments buried in here, they’re tangled up in a bloated mess of bad motivations, weird character choices, and one of the most embarrassing lines ever screamed in a superhero film.
There’s a silver lining, though—Zack Snyder eventually released his own version of Justice League, and at least we got to see his vision fully play out. So this is technically the middle child of his trilogy:
- Man of Steel (moody space Jesus)
- Batman v Superman (gritty courtroom therapy session)
- Zack Snyder’s Justice League (the 4-hour redemption arc)
Let’s rip this one apart.
📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Rundown:
We open with the Man of Steel battle between Superman and Zod—but this time it’s from Bruce Wayne’s POV as he watches Metropolis get nuked from the ground. And somehow, Bruce is just in Metropolis that day. Coincidence? Or bad writing? (Spoiler: both.)
After seeing Superman level buildings and murder Zod on live TV, Bruce decides this alien is a threat to humanity and must be destroyed. So he starts prepping to kill him. Yup. Full-blown Bat-murder prep.
Meanwhile, Lex Luthor (played by Jesse Eisenberg) is over here acting like a cartoon villain who just escaped from Batman Forever. He’s quirky. He’s loud. He’s definitely not Lex Luthor. Think more “TechBro Joker” than criminal mastermind.
Oh, and Wonder Woman pops up randomly throughout the film, mysterious and cool, but mostly just here to open files on the other Justice League members. Because nothing screams “natural story progression” like checking emails mid-movie.
Also, Alfred (Jeremy Irons) is here, and honestly, he’s a highlight. Sarcastic, useful, and constantly annoyed. A mood.
👥 Characters & Actors:
- Batman / Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck):
Brooding, brutal, and trigger-happy. He kills people. He brands people. He’s basically Bat-Punisher. - Superman / Clark Kent (Henry Cavill):
Sad, quiet, and apparently made of granite. Has the personality of a statue but still more likable than Lex. - Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg):
Literally unwatchable. Twitchy, giggly, and playing a different character than anyone else in this movie. The casting was a mistake. - Wonder Woman / Diana Prince (Gal Gadot):
Absolute queen. Her entrance is iconic. Her role is small but powerful. Only sane person here. - Alfred (Jeremy Irons):
The king of sarcasm and reason. Honestly, he deserves his own spinoff where he just sips tea and roasts Bruce for 2 hours.
✅ Pros:
- Wonder Woman’s entrance. The best part of the entire film. Her theme kicks in, she blocks Doomsday’s blast like a boss, and I cheered.
- Batman’s warehouse fight. Feels ripped straight out of Arkham Knight. Brutal, fast, and actually shows off Batman’s combat skills.
- Visuals. Snyder knows how to shoot a beautiful frame. Every shot feels like a graphic novel panel come to life.
- Jeremy Irons as Alfred. Sarcastic dad energy. We love it.
- Hans Zimmer’s score. The music does a lot of heavy lifting—and it works.
❌ Cons:
- Takes 90 minutes to get to “Batman v Superman.”
You named the movie after this fight, and it barely lasts 12 minutes. Why? - Lex Luthor is a disaster.
He acts like a jittery clown, not a genius mastermind. His plan makes zero sense and his personality belongs in a different movie—preferably not this one. - Secret identities don’t matter.
Everyone says everyone’s real name out loud. In public. To strangers. Zero concern for privacy. - Batman literally kills people.
With guns. And explosives. Then complains that Superman is too dangerous. That’s rich. - The reason Batman and Superman stop fighting is laughable.
They become besties because their moms have the same name. “Save Martha!” is not a character arc. It’s a bad meme. Snyder really said, “Let’s end a murder match with a shared mommy moment.” - Doomsday looks like a rejected Lord of the Rings troll.
The design is awful. It’s just a big CGI blob that growls and explodes. - The movie tries to juggle too much.
World-building for Justice League. Introducing Wonder Woman. Presidential hearings. Lex’s schemes. Metaphysical debates. And somehow it still feels like nothing’s happening.
💬 Final Thoughts:
Batman v Superman wants to be deep, but it’s all surface. It thinks it’s profound but it’s just loud. It tries to juggle tragedy, politics, philosophy, and action—but it ends up as a dark, confused soup of bad decisions.
It could’ve worked. But the script needed rewrites, the tone needed balance, and someone needed to tell Snyder that Jesus metaphors and grayscale filters don’t count as storytelling.
🧮 Final Rating:
4.5/10 – A beautiful, confusing mess. Occasionally cool, mostly frustrating. And yes, I still laugh at “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!”
⚠️ Spoiler Warning Ahead ⚠️
Let’s break down the third act of pain.
🧨 Third Act Breakdown:
Lex throws Zod’s corpse into a Kryptonian goo bath, adds his own blood, and creates Doomsday—a monster that looks like if a sewer exploded and gained sentience.
Meanwhile, Superman flies to confront Batman because Lex kidnapped his mom, Martha, and said “Kill the Bat or she dies.” But instead of explaining this like a sane person, Clark just shows up and starts throwing hands.
Batman pulls out his kryptonite grenades and spear (don’t ask how he got them—just roll with it) and nearly kills Superman. Until Clark gasps out:
“You’re letting him kill Martha…”
Batman short-circuits.
“WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!”
Lois runs in yelling, “It’s his mother’s name!” and suddenly Bruce has a full emotional breakdown. He goes from murder-mode to “I’ll save her, I promise,” in five seconds flat.
This is how they become friends. Not a misunderstanding cleared up, not mutual respect—just… Martha. Peak writing.
Then Bruce suits up and saves Martha Kent in a warehouse fight that is somehow more emotionally satisfying than the actual Batman vs Superman showdown.
Lex’s Doomsday monster breaks loose. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman team up to fight it. It’s a decent battle—Wonder Woman steals the show—and Superman sacrifices himself with a kryptonite spear to kill the beast.
I just love wonder woman’s theme in this scene….its epic…..so anyways this fight ends with superman throwing the kryptonite spear into doomsday which kills both of them….uh oh ….ok now let me mention the ultimate version…..there’s one scene the ultimate version adds that I like….let me show u…..
They both die. Doomsday explodes. Everyone cries.
Bruce and Diana talk at the funeral about “forming a team.” Superman’s coffin gets buried. Dirt levitates. Cliffhanger.
But wait—Bruce says one more thing:
“I failed him in life. I won’t fail him in death.”
Wait. Stop. Back up.
You didn’t fail him. You literally saved his mom five minutes after trying to stab him to death. You made good on the one promise he asked of you. What do you mean you failed him?! Did you black out halfway through your own redemption arc, Bruce??
Anyway. Movie ends.
That’s right we see Stepanwolf…..sweet…and he looks ten times better then he looks like in Joss Whedons Justice League…..so anyways film ends with lex Luther being sent to prison….he gets his head shaved….now I know what ur wondering, does he look more like lex Luther.
