Superman Returns

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Superman Returns (2006)

🎥 Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we?


💬 Personal Note:
This was actually my introduction to Superman. Not the comics. Not the Reeve films. This movie. So despite its flaws and all the baggage it carries now, it’ll always hold a weirdly nostalgic place in my superhero memory bank. 🦸‍♂️💭




⚠️ CONTENT WARNING:
This film stars Kevin Spacey, who has since been involved in serious real-world controversies involving sexual assault allegations. While this review discusses his performance strictly in the context of the film, I want to acknowledge that for some viewers, his presence may be a dealbreaker. Please proceed with caution if this is a sensitive topic for you.




Plot Rundown (Non-Spoiler)

Superman has been gone for five years. He returns to Earth just in time to find Lois Lane has moved on, the world has started to forget him, and Lex Luthor is once again doing real estate crimes — but this time, he’s juiced it up with Kryptonian crystals. And when I say “juiced,” I mean the man is building an entire new continent. Yeah. We’ll get to that.

Brandon Routh takes over the role of Superman, bringing a more somber, internalized version of the character. The film itself feels like a semi-sequel to Superman II, with heavy visual callbacks and a focus on nostalgia… which is weird considering this was supposed to be a reboot but wasn’t really.




Character Breakdown

🦸‍♂️ Superman / Clark Kent (Brandon Routh) – Quiet, emotional, and clearly paying tribute to Reeve. He’s got presence, even if the script gives him limited personality.
📰 Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) – Easily the weakest Lois so far. She lacks fire, urgency, or chemistry. And yes, she has a kid now.
💀 Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) – Spacey plays him with menace and flair, but again: see the warning. It’s hard to unsee now.
🛩️ Richard White (James Marsden) – Lois’ new fiancé, who is actually too good to be in this movie.
👦 Jason (Superman’s Maybe-Kid) – Has asthma… until he throws a piano and possibly kills a dude.




Pros

✅ Brandon Routh nails the tone — feels like a natural continuation of Reeve’s Superman.
✅ Airplane rescue sequence = jaw-droppingly good.
✅ Iconic John Williams score returns.
✅ Great visual effects for 2006.
✅ James Marsden’s Richard is the best new character in this film.




Cons

❌ Lois Lane is flat and forgettable.
❌ Lex’s plan is still… real estate. Again. But now wetter and browner.
❌ Superman being a surprise dad feels weirdly brushed over.
❌ That whole island? Just brown Kryptonite spikes.
❌ Kevin Spacey’s presence understandably ruins the film for some viewers.




Final Thoughts

Superman Returns is torn between honoring the past and rebooting the future. And because of that, it doesn’t fully commit to either. Routh deserved more — he brings soul, pain, and quiet heroism to the role. But Lois is underwhelming, the villain plot is ridiculous, and the emotional stakes feel muted.

And let’s not ignore the Kevin Spacey factor. It’s a big asterisk for many, and while his performance is solid, the real-world issues can and should change how people feel about the film. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, you’re not wrong.




⭐ Final Rating: 8/10

Not quite super, but a heartfelt return. Just… full of caveats.




⚠️ Spoilers Ahead ⚠️

🧬 Lex’s big evil plan? Use a Kryptonian crystal (and a stolen strand of Superman’s museum hair??) to grow a continent made of deadly rock. That’s it. Real estate 2.0: Ocean Edition. He even launches the materials into space using a NASA rocket he just has access to. Sure. Okay.

👶 Meanwhile, Lois’ kid Jason shows signs of super-strength and asthma immunity by launching a piano at a home intruder. Because subtlety is dead.

🧎 Superman is stabbed with Kryptonite, thrown off the island, and nearly dies. Lois and her very normal human fiancé save him, because sure. Superman later returns to yeet the entire Kryptonite island into space, which nearly kills him again, but it’s fine because… drama.

💤 He ends the film by whispering to Jason about being his father, in a very vague “I might be your space dad” kind of way. Then he flies off into the night. Because he’s back. Until WB panicked and rebooted again.

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