“How to Burn a Franchise in Two Seasons Flat”

💀 Ohhhhhhh Boy, Where Do I Even Begin?

That’s right: abysmal.

This show singlehandedly ruined the character of Velma for me. Plus, this show has made everyone hate it—both the left and the right side. Wow, good job, show. You’ve legitimately brought America together. This is truly a horrible show.

So I’m gonna give a short rundown of the plot… then describe everything I hate about this show and what failed.

Velma Season 1:

Velma season 2:

Yeah don’t be fooled by the teaser trailer because the show is nowhere close to what it pretends to be.

🧂 Let’s Talk Plot (Thin As It Is)

In this show, a girl is found dead in a locker with her brain cut out. So now the cops have to investigate who’s murdering these hot girls.

And yes—this show puts major emphasis on the phrase hot girls.
Ugh.

In my opinion? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But this show? Nah—it blatantly says: “If you’re not hot, you’re safe.”
Jeepers. What an awful message to send to your audience, especially in this day and age.

❓ Who Is This Show Even For?

No seriously, who is this show made for?

• Not for kids—it’s too crude and raunchy.
• Not for adults—because it insults adults who watch cartoons.
• Not for teens—the humor is way too childish.
• And it’s definitely not for Scooby-Doo fans—because it insults and ruins the lore of Scooby-Doo.

So who’s it for? The director?
If so, that’s the worst way to make a highly budgeted show. Just for yourself.

🫠 It Gets Worse (Somehow)

If y’all think this show can’t get worse—don’t worry. It does.

This show constantly pokes fun at the Scooby-Doo mythos.

Like at one point, two female cops tell Velma their plan to uncover the murderer, and they label the plan SCOOBI.

And Velma’s like, “Wait, what does SCOOBI do?”
Ughhhhhhhhh.

Then there’s a scene where the cops are assigned to protect hot girls at school (because they’re the ones getting killed in brutal ways).

And Velma—being Velma—has to make a snarky comment:
“Why not protect normal-looking or ugly girls?”

Firstly: it’s the hot girls being killed, that’s why.
Secondly: Congrats, Velma. You just called some girls ugly.
Also, did you just call yourself ugly?

This show also pokes fun at its audience.
I forget the line exactly, but Velma basically makes fun of middle-aged men who still watch cartoons.
Yeah. Good job insulting your own fanbase.

😬 I Laughed Once. ONCE.

I will admit: there’s one joke in this entire show that got a laugh out of me.

There’s a scene where spoiled rich Fred goes on live TV wearing fake eyelashes and makeup to convince the public he’s a good person. Why? Because Velma’s convinced Fred is the killer—because he’s rich and she hates rich people.

Now what made me laugh?

It starts raining. One of his eyelashes falls onto his lip.
He raises his arm and tries to calm the crowd—
And it ends up looking like a Hitler salute.

And the news captures this and screams, “Ahhh! Fred is Hitler!”

(Scoffs.)
Ok. Congrats, show. You got one laugh out of me.
Not because the joke was good—
But because I didn’t expect the show to go that far.

🧨 Character Assassination: Complete

• Velma here is an unlikeable twat.
• Daphne is the cliché popular girl who sells illegal drugs because ha ha funny?
• Fred is a spoiled, brain-dead brat who literally can’t cut steak.
• Shaggy (wait sorry, Norbert, because why not) is a simp.
  • Simping over Velma, who’s a garbage person that insults everyone.
• Scooby-Doo isn’t even in the show—because the director thought a talking dog would be “too much.”

Keep that in mind for Season 2.

🚨 Rating Before I Explode

Let me get the rating out of the way before my brain melts:

0/10.

Truly an abysmal show.

If you have any respect for Scooby-Doo—don’t watch this.
Doubt y’all were going to… but still.

⚠️Warning: spoilers ahead. You’ve been warned. ⚠️

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🧩 Season 1 Ending: Fred’s Mom Is the Killer

Yup.

Turns out the murderer is Fred’s mother.

Why? Because she knows Fred is stupid and wants to replace his brain with a smart girl’s.

That’s dark… and also super mean to say about your own kid.

Yada yada… things happen…

Velma and Fred escape.
Fred’s mom tries to kill them.
Norbert (aka Not Shaggy) shows up with a katana and saves them.

Fred’s mom shoots at Norbert.
He deflects the bullet with the sword, which ricochets off a rock and impales her.

Congrats, Norbert. You’re a murderer.

😑 Season 2: Let’s Ruin More Things!

So now Norbert feels bad about killing Fred’s mom.

How does he cope?
By constantly eating.
Get it!? Because Shaggy eats a lot!
So this is why he eats a lot!

Ha ha! Isn’t depression-eating hilarious??

No. No, it isn’t.
And if you laughed—you’re not sane. Sorry.

💅 The Hex Girls Redesign: A Cry for Help

Let’s talk about the infamous character redesign.

Ladies and gentlemen… Velma Season 2’s version of Thorn, leader of the Hex Girls.

(Groans)

Where do I even begin?
Why. Just… why.
Why does she now look like a meth-head crackhead?

Actually, you know what?
This redesign is perfect for this series.
It encapsulates everything wrong with this show.

Can we end here?
Please??

Oh… right. The season isn’t over.

⚰️ This Time, It’s Balls Getting Bitten Off

So last season was hot girls getting their brains cut out.

This time?
It’s men getting their balls bitten off.

Yeah. That’s what they went with.

🐶 Fred Gets a Dog… And the Show Mocks Itself

Fred decides to start a detective gang.
He gets a van and a dog.

And the characters mock him:

“A dog sidekick? That’s stupid!”

Ha ha! Get it??
Because mocking your own franchise and its fanbase is… comedy?

🧨 Final Reveal: Scrappy-Doo (Yes, Really)

Time for the big reveal…

Try to guess the killer. I’ll give you 5 seconds.

1… 2… 3…

Wrong. It’s Scrappy-Doo.

I—I—I am done.
Where’s the nearest train? I’d like to walk in front of it.

According to the director, we’d never have a talking dog in this show because that’s “too goofy.”

But Scrappy-Doo is fine??

Double standards, much?

So why’s Scrappy killing men?

Because he’s a government lab experiment who was treated poorly and now hates men.

What deep, nuanced writing.

No wait—that’s just my dog biting my nuts.

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💣 The White House, Helicopter Escapes, and… Ghost Velma?

Scrappy decides to go to the White House to kill the President and his men.

WELL THIS GOT DARKER.

Velma shows up (groan) to stop him.
He’s immune to attacks and can reheal.
Is he the Terminator now?

“I’ll be bark.”

The gang escapes in a helicopter.
Scrappy grabs Velma’s leg as the bomb is about to go off.

They both blow up.

YAAAAAAAYYYY. Happy ending!
Oh thank you, show.
Thank you for killing off the annoying banana.

BUT WAIT—
She’s still here. AS A GHOST.

And in a Christmas episode, she tries to get her body back.

Girl… your body exploded. Ain’t nothing left to “get back.”

✅ Final Verdict

In the end… yeah. I’ve been avoiding this review for a long time—and for good reason.

This show is truly bad.

Every review was right.
This show spits in the face of the legacy of the franchise it’s leeching off of.

So yeah.
I’m glad this show got canceled.

No idea how it got renewed for a Season 2.
Still don’t know why it even got a Season 1.

Anyway…

Hope y’all enjoyed this review.
Till next time.

Yeah your welcome, here’s a montage of terrible references in Season 2!