š¬ Sinners-VAMPIRE JIG ENERGY
Letās start by showing yāall the trailers, shall we?
Yeah, unfortunately, I donāt know what Warner Brothers was thinking when they decided to just… spoil the whole dang movie in that final trailer. Like, heyāwhat if instead of teasing the vibe, we just tell yāall that Stack becomes a vampire? And Mary? Sheās a vampire too! Surprise! Except not, because you just showed us!
I mean, why? I get wanting to pull in the vampire crowd, but this wasnāt really even a vampire flick until like the back half. More on that later.
š¤ The Setup: Juke Joints, Grief, and That Tongue Line
So whatās this movie even about? Well… okay. Take a breath.
We follow twin gangsters named Stack and Smokeāboth played by Michael B. Jordan, because yes, we are doubling up on Jordan and honestly? He pulls it off.
Stack and Smoke used to run with Al Capone but decide to come back to the Jim Crow South in the 1930s, which already tells you: oh boy, this aināt gonna be light. Thereās heavy racism baked into everything. Like, actual structured segregationāBlack folks stay in this area, white folks over there, Native folks got their own spot. And into that mess, these two show up trying to open a juke joint.
Yeah. They buy this barn from a shady white farmerāwho we will circle back to later, trust meāand they plan to convert it into a place where Black folks can come to dance, drink, sing, perform, breathe. Just… live.
They grab their cousin Sammi, whoās working on a plantation and wants to be a rhythm and blues singer. They bring in Smokeās partner Annie, whoās a voodoo specialist and also grieving the loss of their baby. Stack and Sammi recruit an Asian family to help with food and signage. Then they hunt down Delta Slim, played by Delroy freaking Lindo, and bribe him into performing for forty bucks and some Irish beer. Classy.
Also, Cornbread. Their bouncer. Works in a cornfield. His name is Cornbread. I had to pause when they introduced him because I thought they were joking. They were not.
And then thereās MaryāStackās exāplayed by Hailee Steinfeld, who straight-up tells him, āYou left me the next day after having your tongue in myāā
Yeah. Iām not writing the rest of that. You can imagine. But it was a moment.
So, all the pieces are set for this one epic night. Itās got the makings of something bigāgrief, community, rhythm, redemptionāand the dudes kinda nailed the outsourcing game. Food? Delegated. Music? Delegated. Even signage? Delegated.
Say what you want, but they had supply chain figured out in 1932.
š§ The Shift: Vampires. With Banjos.
Just when you think this movieās about music and healing and emotional growth and maybe getting a slow-dance kiss under the starsāwe go full supernatural.
Thereās these three vampires, right? Led by a guy who looks like he was rejected from True Blood for being too intense. He shows up at some random coupleās door, acting all panicked, like, āPlease help me, the Native Americans are chasing me!ā
So the couple lets him in.
Because apparently everyone in this movie has never heard of vampire rules.
Yes, they invite him in.
Yes, that means he now owns the house.
And yes, he turns them both into vampires like 30 seconds later.
Meanwhile, the Native American vampire hunters? They show up. Look around. And leave. We never see them again. What was the point? I have no idea. Maybe thereās a spin-off called Navajo Night Watchers or something. I would watch that, but stillāwhere did they go?!
Anyway. Fast forward to the juke joint party. Things are poppinā. Sammiās playing. Delta Slimās actually feeling it. People are dancing. Foodās being eaten. Community is happening.
And then?
The vampires walk in. With banjos.
Like this is normal.
Not a joke. Not a metaphor.
BANJO-PLAYING VAMPIRES walk into this juke joint and ask to perform.
I was so stunned I actually rewound the scene just to make sure I didnāt hallucinate it.
I didnāt.
And thatās when the whole movie spirals.
š The Cult of the Jig. What Even.
You know what else happens?
The vampiresānow joined by a bunch of other newly turned peopleāform a circle. They start singing. And then the vampire leader steps into the middle and starts doingā¦
…an Irish jig.
Flaming. Irish. Jig.
To a song I recognized from the 2009 Sherlock Holmes movie. I wish I was lying. I wish I could forget it. But itās in my brain now like a cursed memory.
This isnāt a metaphor.
Thereās no commentary here.
Itās just: banjos, cult chanting, and a white vampire in the middle of a fire circle doing step dance while staring directly into the camera like heās casting a spell on your soul.
I donāt know what genre this is anymore. Thereās music. Thereās blood. Thereās jigging.
I think my brain short-circuited.
ā ļø Stuff I Probably Shouldāve Warned Yāall About
Shouldāve said this sooner, but uh:
- This movie is horny.
- Itās also gory.
- And the N-word? Constant. Loud. Uncensored.
This aināt one of those āvampire but make it sexyā flicks.
This is āvampire but also you need therapy nowā energy.
š„ The Hive-Mind Bloodbath
Okay. Deep breath. Here comes the third act.
So Mary gets turned. Then she and Stack get real cozy and… thereās drool. Like, excessive drool. I donāt want to talk about it.
Meanwhile, the vampires try to break into a house by threatening a womanās daughter. The gangās fighting back with stakes, shotguns, pitchfork energy.
Delta Slimāabsolute legendācuts his wrist to draw them away and sacrifices himself.
Sammiās new girl gets bitten.
Smoke ends up fighting Stackāwhoās now full vamp modeāin a showdown thatās giving āI love you bro but also I gotta stab you through the heartā energy.
Then the vampire leader dunks Sammi into a lake and tries to turn him. Tells him something like:
āOut here, people hate you. With us, youāll never feel pain again.ā
Which… okay, thatās kind of deep. Still not joining the vampire cult though, sir.
Smoke shows upāstabs the vampire leader.
Boom. Sunlight hits.
Everyone catches fire.
One of the vampires does a full-on flame tornado swirl like itās Mortal Kombat: Vampire Edition.
And just like thatāitās over.
Or is it?
šŖ© Disco Vampires and The End(?) That Keeps Going
So now itās years later. Sammiās an old man, scarred up, running a blues club.
And then Stack and Mary show up.
Still vampires. Still alive. In bellbottoms.
Apparently when the leader died, the āeveryone diesā rule just… didnāt apply to them.
Oh, I see. So now we just make up plot rules as we go? Cool. Love that. Totally fine.
Stack says Smoke couldnāt kill him. So he made Stack promise to never hurt Sammi.
They ask for one last song. Sammi plays it. They tip him. Walk out.
Sammi asks:
āThat night, before you turned⦠was that your best night ever?ā
Stack says:
āYeah. It was.
Because it was the last time I saw my brother.
And the last time I stood in the sun.ā
Yeah. Okay, Coogler. Now you wanna rip my heart out?
Iām crying. No, youāre crying.
šÆ Final Thoughts
This movie made me feel like I took the scenic route through four different genres and then got hit in the face with a flaming banjo.
Itās a lot.
Thereās joy and trauma and grief and horror and bad sex and worse dancing and so much blood and also Michael B. Jordan twice.
I donāt even know if I liked it or hated it.
But I can tell you this:
Iāll never forget it.
Final Score: 6/10
Would recommend.
Once. With a drink.
Preferably while holding garlic.

Very insightful review, Iām definitely watching again, loved it ā¤ļøš„
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