Shrek

Shrek: yes that’s right I’m finally reviewing this classic film and its sequel.

Also warning ⚠️, just because I’m reviewing a kid’s film does not mean this review is meant for kids, there are cuss words in here so I thought I’d warn y’all now.

So without further due let’s get into the review shall we?

So we open up with narration while this fairy tale book opens up, giving us a back story on Fiona and how she was cursed and all that, how she was locked away in a tower until someone comes and gives her a true love kiss to break the curse….then Shreks hand plops on the book yanks a page out and he says hehe well that’s never gonna happen…..

And we see an outdoor potty we hear a flush and Shrek pushes open the door Walking out of it scratching his butt, yes kids he just used a page in a book to wipe his A$$ Lolo

Hey, now ur an all-star! Get your game on Go Play! Hey, now ur Rockstar! Get the show on! Get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shootin’ stars break the mold

Sorry got distracted I love that song, “Somebody Once Told Me!” Lolo

Anyways so to summarize it up, Shrek takes a mud bath, he eats dinner, he makes a candle out of his earwax….um ew, he lights his fireplace by using a lighter and then burping into it, double ew.

So let’s actually just give a rundown of the plot, so essentially one day Sherk (voiced by Mike Myers) bumps into Donkey (voiced by Eddie Murphy).

Donkey wants to stay with Shrek but he wants to be left alone, too bad he won’t be left alone for too long because all these mystical creatures including the big bad wolf find their way to his house and stay there because this king named Lord Farquaad (sorry soon to be king).

Has banished them from his kingdom, also he’s also looking for a princess to marry to become a king, he picks this princess who’s locked away in a tower named Princess Fiona. But she has a secret that Farquaad refuses to listen to the magic mirror about.

BTW if u ask me he has the most badass entrance to a DreamWorks villain I have seen, role clip.

Told u, and this is him walking into the interrogation room to interrogate Gingy the Gingerbread Man. Moving on Shrek comes to confront Lord Farquaad, and he sends Shrek on a quest to get Princess Fiona for him, and in return, he will give him his swamp back.

Welcome to Duloc it’s the perfect town!

So both Shrek and Donkey locate the princess guarded by a fire-breathing dragon in a tower that overlooks a lava pit. Shrek saves Fiona while Donkey is tied up with the dragon.

Turns out the dragon is a female and is in love with Donkey, yeah don’t ask me how that works.

Also, there’s a scene where the gang is in the woods and this discount RobinHood comes out of nowhere and tries to save the princess. He then summons his men who are named the Merry Men.

They sing about how they steal from the greedy and give back to the needy, again discount RobinHood.

So what is Fiona’s secret? Will Shrek hand her to Farquaad the small guy with a Napoleon complex? Who also has the name of someone trying to say Fuck-Wad.

Will Donkey ever shut the heck up? All will be revealed in the spoilers, but first, let’s get the rating out of the way.

Overall yeah I love this film, now granted I still prefer the 2nd film over the first film but that’s just me, so overall I’ll give Sherk a solid 10/10, warning spoilers ahead y’all have been warned ⚠️.
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Time to spoil the 3rd act and any revelations, so Fiona’s dark secret? She turns into an Ogre every night, she was cursed by a Fairy Godmother. Yes, that same Godmother from the second film.

Shrek overhears Donkey and Fiona talking in a hut, he mistakes her for talking about him when she says no one would be in love with a big fat stupid ugly ogre, ouch.

So when he hands over Fiona to Lord Farquaad who shows up the next day, he’s resentful because he was falling in love with Fiona but he mistakes what she said.

Heck, he essentially tells Donkey to F off, he lives alone and he’s gonna have it that way!

Yeah, he’s hurt I definitely understand that, also hallelujah, hallelujah. Hallelujah! So as Fiona gets prepared to marry Lord Farquaad, Shrek gets told by Donkey that Fiona wasn’t talking about Shrek.

So they both go to crash the wedding, so they break in and as they do so, Fiona transforms into an Ogre. Fuck-Wad finally sees this and tries to order the execution of Shrek.

And force Fiona to live in a tower for the rest of her life, I will have order! Just then Shrek does a whistle which summons the dragon with Donkey on her head.

They come crashing in through the window and the dragon eats lord Fuck-Wad.

Hurray! So Fiona permanently turns into an Ogre and they both kiss, the film ends with all the characters cheering on Shrek and Fiona being hitched and ridding off from his swamp, while everyone is dancing to Donkey singing I am a Believer.