Napoleon: Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we?

SMH yeah it’s time to talk about this film today, so uh were do I start? Well, I guess we should start with talking about Ridley Scott, yeah no need to beat around a dead bush.

Ridley Scott kinda screwed himself over, how u may ask? Glad y’all asked, for u see before this film came out when promotion for the film was happening (via trailers)?

Many historical fans who know a lot about Napoleon, tried to inform Ridley Scott that he’s got tons of info wrong and is setting himself up for a failure of a film. Which Ridley Scott essentially said, “Fuck u, shut up don’t go see the movie then”.

Yeah uh, Mr. Scott I don’t think it’s a good idea to piss off ur historical fans, especially since they will be the ones who go see this film. Like uh yeah definitely don’t do that.

Either he didn’t care about making an accurate historical piece and just wanted to make his own film, or he never read anything relating to Napoleon.

Pick ur poison here. Either way, this film isn’t good. Yeah I know I’m already spoiling how I felt.

Just to give y’all an idea of how much Ridley Scott gave 2 shites about making this film accurate to the real historical event.

This film has Napoleon attacking Egypt and having one of his men shoot a canon at the pyramids. Yeah, that never happened btw, he never once did that.

Also during the war the way Napoleon would execute his orders plus make his war plans would involve some level of complexity, he sits down and maps out his plan.

In this film, all he does is just some hand gestures and that’s it, wow keeping it real smooth here aren’t we Ridley Scott?

So what’s the plot summary? Actually, do I even need to say that? The film is about how Napoleon (played by Joaquin Phoenix) came to be in his position of power as the Emperor of London.

And how he met his soon-to-be wife named Josephine (played by Vannessa Kirby).

If u know anything about Napoleon, then u already know the basics. But if u don’t know, then here are the pin notes.

Napoleon was a highly ranked officer. Well respected as well. Or feared, depending on who u ask.

He married Josephine and they both became Emperor and Empress of London. He overthrew the government to be elected as Emperor.

He won multiple battles.

He fought and lost at the most iconic location, The Battle Of Waterloo.

After that battle he got banished, because around that point, he was losing men and respect. So it was time to dethrone him.

Yeah, u know the story already, but if u don’t then there u go. So now let’s discuss the bad.

Oh where do I start, well firstly the way the film portrays Napoleon seems off, the first sign this was off was them casting Joaquin Phoenix as Napoleon.

The reason I say that is because in the beginning of the film, it’s portraying him when he was younger, during his earlier years as a general. But Joaquin Phoenix looks like he’s a 50 to 60-year-old, so that looked about as convincing as if u got a grown man to play as a toddler.

Speaking of, Napoleon acts like a child in this film. In every scene he is either with his wife or away from his wife he’s acting childish, when he’s with her they act like kids. When he’s away from her he’s sending notes to her which essentially says.

Why haven’t u been contacting me back? I have been writing to u I love u, jeepers. So why is she ignoring him? Time to spoil the film but first the rating, uh 1/10, yeah sorry this isn’t good.

I don’t recommend it, also I hate when Apple funds these films. They funded Killers Of The Flower Moon and now this. Why do I hate it? Because when they fund a film the film can never come on DVD.

Only goes straight to Apple+ after its theatrical run, which is dumb. Warning spoilers ahead y’all been warned ⚠️.
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Time to spoil the 3rd act and any revelations, turns out Empress Josephine has been cheating on her husband and dating someone else, shocker.

So how does this film end? Well, it ends with him failing the Battle of Waterloo, so then he gets banished from London onto a small island that has a nice house.

He eventually dies, the end. Yeah, I know the spoilers are short but it’s like, what do u expect? Anyway the end, on a side note me, and my dad went to see this film. The entire time we kept giving each other the side-eye look.

As if we’re saying the hell are we watching? Anyway hope y’all enjoyed this review, till next time.