Glass Onion: Let’s start off with showing y’all the trailers shall we?

Yes I know I’m 2 years late on this review, but I’m finally reviewing it.

Also yes Rian Johnson is planning on making a 3rd film, in his words he wants to emulate Agatha Christie’s novels.

No shite because the 3rd film is gonna be somewhat similar in tone to A Haunting In Venice.

Also, Netflix brought the rights for this film and the 3rd film, so that’s why this one went to Netflix.

Also, I know it’s a common thing to hate Ryan Johnson but I actually really liked his movie Knives Out, I recommend checking out that review. So how do I feel about this film?

Well, let’s get the rating out of the way, overall eh. Yeah, that’s putting it bluntly.

Here’s a rundown of the plot, this rich man named Miles Bron (played by Edward Norton, yes Hulk himself) sends an invention to all his friends which includes

Whiskey (played by Madelyn Cline) (she’s the party girl)

Andi Brand (played by Janelle Monáe) (she’s vague and keeps to herself mainly)

Claire Debella (played by Kathryn Hahn) (she’s a news reporter)

Lionel Toussaint (played by Leslie Odom Jr.) (Some tech engineer)

Bride Jay (played by Kate Hudson) (the drunk slut who has to have her phone be kept away from her, luckily she has her assistant Peg to help her out because if she doesn’t have her phone away from her she tweets out offensive stuff)

Duke Cody (played by Dave Bautista) (the wild bro who vlogs almost everything he does and relies on sponsors and followers, plus he’s an anti-masker)

Peg (played by Jessica Henwick) (she’s an assistant)

Also yes u heard those words right Anti Masker, this film takes place during COVID-19. So they had to film this movie during covid on the island, so when we see our characters get together at the dick to get to Miles Brons island, which is this rich man’s island with a Glass Onion dome.

They are all wearing masks, except Duke who rides in on a motorcycle with his drunk girlfriend while wearing no mask, anyways also

Benoit Blanc (played by Daniel Craig) also shows up which is weird because he wasn’t invited, so why is he here? Who’s this mysterious strange woman named Andi Brand? Who’s Miles Bron? How do these people know each other?

Also, what does Blanc do during covid? He wastes his time in the bathtub on his computer with books surrounding him, ok that’s just sad.

Who’s the murder victim this time? Why in the trailer does the gang say when does a murder mystery starts? Well, I can answer that one right now.

It’s because he brought them here to play essentially one elaborated game of clues where he put together a fake murder mystery for them to figure out. Also, there’s a running gag in this film of Benoit Blanc sucking at the game clue.

Oh haha, it’s because the first film Knives Out was heavily compared to the game/film Clue.

Also, Blanc is kinda a fun killer, Bron puts together his murder mystery and at dinner, Blanc reveals every detail of how Bron planned this out.

That Bron himself was gonna be shot with a fake arrow and be the victim and he was gonna have his friends investigate the murder mystery. Well, congrats Blanc ur truly are a fun killer.

Anyway let’s get the rating out of the way, overall as stated I’m mixed on this film idk I just find the script to be eh? I wasn’t a fan that the real murder doesn’t happen until like within that last 30-ish min of the film, yes it takes that long for the murder mystery to start.

Womp womp, so overall I’ll give this film a solid 6/10, warning spoilers ahead y’all has been warned ⚠️.
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So time to spoil the 3rd act and any revelations.

So why’s Blanc on the island even though he wasn’t invited? Well, he was hired by Andi, who’s not Andi. It’s her twin sister. Turns out Andi was murdered by Bron, and she thinks he murdered her sister Andi who was a CEO.

So did he murder her? Spoilers yes, also that woman isn’t the only murder victim in this film, for u see come the 3rd act. The lights turn off and all of a sudden Dave Bautista’s character starts Choking then he falls over and dies.

Yep about dang time for some kinda murder mystery, Blanc points out that clearly someone tried killing Bron. So he starts using Blanc as a shield, haha haha.

Plot twist no one is after Bron, he poisoned Duke’s alcohol with pineapple juice which Duke is allergic to pineapple.

Now why did Bron do this? Because Duke pulled him over and revealed to him he found out Andi is dead, it’s all over the news and he’s gonna expose the truth.

So Bron had to silence him in the moment, heck Blanc is insulted by this. He says he died from an allergic reaction! That’s just dumb! Then one of the guests says “So dumb that it’s good right?” Which Blanc says “No! It’s just dumb dumb!”

I find it funny that Blanc isn’t mad that another murder happened, but that he died from an allergic reaction is somehow what is ticking him off, hahahahhahaha.

So anyways Andi’s sister brings down this paper evidence that her sister had writing on the back of a napkin, it laid out Brons plans and why she www suspicious of him, how he possibly stole money.

Speaking of money he has the actual Mona Lisa on display. He brought it, keep that in mind. So as Andi shows him the evidence (why would he keep it why didn’t he just burn it?) He now decides to take a lighter and burn it.

This leaves Blanc to admit he can’t do anything, he says he’s not Batman. He’s a detective, and since now the evidence is gone he can’t do anything. Did u get to be kidding me? The rich guy is gonna get off scot-free?

Also why no one in the room speaks up and backs up Andi? They loved her sister and they just found out Bron who they thought was their friend had murdered Andi’s sister.

Ah not exactly, Andis sister got drunk. So Blanc tells her to go crazy, he then goes outside and sits on a beach chair to watch the show.

Then Andi starts tossing things around and breaking things, everyone joins in and destroys things, including Bron.

But then Andi gets a bit too far by setting places on fire including the Mona Lisa, uh oh.

So his entire house is set on fire, now if u think this isn’t enough punishment, just remember the Mona Lisa got destroyed. The original painting got destroyed on his watch, oh yeah he’s in trouble.

So now his friends all say they saw the note and siding with Andi’s sister, a little too late. Anyway film ends with Blanc and Brons brother sitting on the beach with cigars.

Anyways the end, overall I hope y’all enjoyed this review. I got multiple more reviews releasing, till then.