Matrix 4: Oh boy this movie well let’s start off with the trailers Shall we

Yeah, I firstly wanna quickly mention that no I won’t be reviewing the original trilogy of The Matrix because I don’t care to plus this one is far more atrocious to watch than the others….also I’m not a huge fan of the Matrix, to begin with, I’m more of a John Wick fan, but I can still tell when a movie is bad….

BTW idk who to blame for this film but from what I’ve heard WB told Lana Wachowski that were gonna make The Matrix 4 with or without u….so she Hesitantly agreed to come back and make this film…..long story short it wasn’t good, u can tell Lana Wachowski nor the script writers or producers wanted to make this film…

Heck this entire film does a meta-commentary poking fun at WB…..well I guess this is what they deserve for wanting to revive this franchise….like u can tell this film was a vanity project for Lana Wachowski…

Also first let’s get the rating out of the way, I absolutely hate this film….it’s so the bottom of the barrel type of content that I never wanna rewatch this ever again…thanks a lot WB for bringing back this beloved property and making a mockery of it….oh did I forget to mention this film is a mockery? They bring back the 2 main characters even though they died…

There’s tons of meta-commentary which starts getting annoying very fast, and some of the recasting felt off…yes there is recasting in this film….

Heck I think this film is a vanity project towards WB and the fans…..because WB forced her to make this sequel when she didn’t want to make another Matrix film.

The only possible positive I can and will give this film is that the movie runs well….it’s definitely a film, and the movie doesn’t break…..that’s the most bottom-of-the-barrel compliment I can give this film…which says a lot..

BTW to give y’all an inkling of how bad this film is, let’s look at this comment I found…..this person said (keep in mind this was before they rebranded the app to Max).

“I saw this film on HBO Max, and still drove to the nearest theatre to ask for a refund”

Yeah, I think that says a lot about this film….u to will want to go get a refund even if u watch it at home for free…..

BTW in this film Laurence Fishburn and Hugo Weaving don’t reprise their roles as Morpheus and Agent Smith…..it’s almost like they read the script and said yeah fam I ain’t coming back for this……which I wouldn’t blame this, this script is a mess..

Also no sorry I don’t get Morphius and Smith vibes in this film….the vibes I get from Morphius is Yahya Abdul-Mateen II….that’s because he’s being played by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II…and the vibes I get from Agent Smith is a smug white dude…..yep we don’t get Morphius or Agent Smith in this film, no we have Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and a smug white dude….

Yep, that’s what I’m calling them from now on…..

So overall this film gets a generous 1/10, don’t watch this film even if u have Max….that’s a waste of ur time…..time which u won’t get back, anyways spoiler ahead y’all have been warned….

So this film starts off with this female character named Bugs (played by Jessica Henwick) being hunted down by an agent named Mr. Smith but oh no he isn’t Mr. Smith he’s Morpheus….and this time he’s played by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II….no idk why they didn’t bring back Lawrence Fishburne either……do we will be referring to him as Yahya Abdul-Mateen II instead of Morpheus..

So yeah Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is playing a mind-wiped reprogrammed Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, but Bugs gets him to remember his memory because she asked him if he saw anything weird. He said the other morning he tried touching his mirror and his finger went through a wormhole in his mirror….. That how he could tell there in the Matrix…..

If ur wondering how Bugs realized this is the Matrix and not reality? Well, she saw one day Mr. Anderson (played by Keanu Reaves) standing near the edge of a building about to commit suicide and she saw a glimpse of him changing into a random old man just for a second….oh, and she for some reason recognized he’s the chosen one yada yada yada…

So now the both of them are escaping the rest of the agents, hurray? I guess….so anyway we cut to Me. Anderson who’s still played by Keanu Reaves….yes, he is somehow back even though his character died in Matrix 3….

Try making sense of that and we find out he’s in charge of a company that made The Matrix game series…yeah in this new timeline, The Matrix is a game series…..groan I see we’re getting meta here…oh don’t worry the meta stuff doesn’t end here, unfortunately….

So Mr. Anderson goes into his boss’s office who is played by Jonathan Groff…..his boss tells him and sighhhh I cannot believe I’m uttering this words but “Our wonderful executives over at Warner Brothers have decided to make a Matrix 4 with or without us”.

So yeah we’re going that meta oh jeepers, oh don’t worry it gets worse….so uh little later on Mr. Anderson at the coffee shop bumps into a woman who looks exactly like Trinity…

That’s because it is her, and she’s been brainwashed….oh lovely the 2 dead characters from Matrix 3 are back somehow don’t ask me how…..but enough that for now little later on in Mr. Anderson’s building the fire alarms go off and they all start leaving but Mr. Anderson gets a call and is told to head to the restroom where he meets Yahya Abdul-Mateen II who’s wearing a yellow jacket and sunglasses…..

He offers him a blue pill and a red pill but Mr. Anderson says ohhhh no no no no no..then tries to run the opposite way…lolo, wanna know why he reacted like that? It’s because his psychiatrist played by Neal Patrick Harris prescribes him blue pills….eh eh get it because we’re in the Matrix oh and the glasses he’s wearing the outlines are blue…eh eh get it because blue is blue pill and blue pill is eh eh bad…get it?….

GET IT!!? Also, Mr. Anderson has just been tossing his pills down the drain he’s been not having them…so yeah he’s a little panicky when he sees a red pill and a blue pill he’s just assuming oh yeah more medication……kill me

So anyway they run out of the restroom where the fire sprinklers turn on then his boss comes walking out of the office he sees a gun on the floor and gets back flashes and he picks it up and yells out Mr. Anderson!!….

Oh joy So get this his boss is Agent Smith, yes and that Agent Smith u know the baddie who got destroyed in the 3rd film? Yeah, he is back but in a different body…because they couldn’t bring back the actor….

So they replaced him, uh huh see if u couldn’t bring back 2 key characters then why even bother with a 4th film? Also, this film is dumb and no this ain’t no Agent Smith to Mr because he has all the charisma of a blank paper….

So we’re gonna call him Mr. Smug White Guy…

Yep, there’s no charisma, Mr. Weaven brought to the role….sigh Anyways so after waking up In his therapist’s office yeah somehow he woke up there….the guy gives him more meds to take, what a shocker….clearly they want to keep him In the Matrix…….ok then, also here’s that entire bathroom clip including Agent Smith remembering everything…

BTW I’m already hating this movie if y’all can’t tell…..I really hope yall could tell……anyways so White Rabbit locates Mr. Anderson again and brings him back to Yahya Abdul-Mateen II…this time he’s sitting in a room with 2 chairs that look identical to the first movie chairs Morpheus sat in…all while a screen in the background is playing that footage from the first film…which Yahya Abdul-Mateen II says I thought a little nostalgia would be the better option….pffft that’s Hollywood every time they consider making a cheap cash grab…..

Anyway, he offers Mr. Anderson a way out, I hope he’s offering him a way out of this movie. And a way for me to stop reviewing this? Unfortunately, he is not…no he’s offering him a way out of the Matrix…so Mr. Anderson agrees and takes the red pill….

Also, they tell Neo the reason they couldn’t find him for 60 years is because they brother Neo and Trinity back in old people’s bodies…..everyone else sees them as old people while Neo and Trinity see themselves as themselves…..so they kinda like hiding cloak….

So he takes the red pill….and they get taken out of the matrix….smiling things happen Mr. Anderson wakes up in a case, all bald and naked….wow So original….anyways when he wakes up he returns to the resistance base where he finds out Morpheus is indeed dead, he died years ago….so that version of Yahya Abdul-Mateen II he was talking to is a program…..hmmm marvelous!!

Also for some odd reason, Keanu Reaves somehow looks older when he’s bold and has no beard….but somehow he looks younger with the long hair and a beard, yeah plz go back to that look plz…

Anyways oh if u all wondering do they even stay in the human world for long? Nope don’t u get it Neo in this film has a boner for Trinity

Anyways let’s just skip to the third act, Neo gets locked up because his Hornyness is talking….both Bugs and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as I’m gonna call him…break Neo out so he can go back into the Matrix to save Trinity…..awesome so the fate of the apocalyptic world lies on the hand of a horny guy who wants to get laid….our Messiah ladies and gentlemen…

He gives 2 F**kes about humanity he just wants Trinity and that’s it…..oh goodie, so uh he enters back into the Matrix along with his 2 friends…..they go and battle some henchmen….oh and guess who shows up it’s Merovingian….yes that same program they went to talk to in matrix 2 and tried to go get his help in matrix 3 to bring back Neo who was stuck in basically the matrix limbo…

Why is he back? Because of nostalgia, also now he looks like a hobo with long hair/beard….also for some reason now he can only speak in meta-commentary…..such as him leaving them at the end of the battle with these final words…

“This isn’t over, I will sequel franchise spinoff” Uh huh, get it because we’re just being so meta with this film….kill me, anyways so they make it to Trinity who’s being held by Neil Patrick Harris and his goons….

Oh also Mr. Smug White Guy was here in this scene, he helps fight off the enemies because him and Neo get attacked by enemies….

Neil reveals himself to be the main machine in the matrix, I don’t care…..he explains he brought the 2 of them back to life because they were bored…..don’t know how they healed Neo’s scars around his eyes or revived them from their injuries…also he says it cost money to bring u both back…

Ok firstly that statement doesn’t make any sense, the hell would robots need money for? Also is this also a meta joke on how it probably cost WB a lot to bring this property back? If so, booooooo!

Also, he tells Neo the reason he brought them back is because the 2 of them have a special bond (don’t know why they’d care about that), but they tried to keep them away from each other in the Matrix because if they get together bad stuff happens…..

Also, the only way they can bring Trinity out of the Matrix is if she decides for herself……sure…

Anyway, after some horrendous slow-motion mixed with what I can only describe as an eye-sore laggy movement at the same time, yeah thanks movie for that……Neo convinces Trinity to remember before her husband drags her away….she remembers everything……yay?

Then guess who comes and saves them? No seriously take a guess. It’s Mr. Smug White Guy…..he’s here to stop the AI, good for him? I don’t care….can we move on…and this is where things just stopped caring I guess….that’s if this film even cared at all….

This film becomes a zombie film, yeah I’ll repeat that so that info can sink in y’all heads so y’all can have that shocked expression on ur face that u just got…..because trust me it’s as dumb as it sounds…

Where our main characters run downtown away from AI people being controlled to chase them.

Can we plz leave behind the zombie genre?

So anyways they escape the zombies, they fight them……they run onto a building and jump off it to escape a helicopter attacking them.

Neo and Trinity end up flying away. No wait my bad Trinity flies away, and Neo just grabs ahold of them….yeah remember how back then when Neo could fly? Well now Neo can’t, oh goodie. Chosen one right?

Anyways moving on, so this film ends with the duo flying back to Neil Patrick Harris who’s back in his office. They break his jaw off and he reheals. They tell him they aren’t planning on leaving but in fact they want to stay and make this place a better place, say what now?

The hell u both want to stay in The Matrix for? No seriously why? Wasn’t the whole purpose of this franchise to escape The Matrix? Ughhhhhh, anyways the end good freaking lord this film is done.

Anyways hope y’all enjoyed this review because I sure as hell didn’t enjoy watching this film, anyways till next time and here’s a teaser for the next review I’m working on