I Frankenstein: Let’s start with showing yall the trailer shall we?

Yeah if yall can’t tell by this trailer it’s like no version of Frankenstein’s monster we’ve seen before….like at all, oh boy….now take that as u will…either that’s a good thing or a bad thing, for me it was a bad thing….

Now I just learned this film is based on a comic with the same name I Frankenstein…so we really shouldn’t compare this to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein novel, no that be a disgrace….so let’s look at this movie as its own thang….. now does that make it better? Nope!

Also, what’s with the adaptations of Frankenstein not being based on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein novel? There’s I, Frankenstein which is based on a comic with the same name, then there’s the Borris Karloff version of Frankenstein which is an adaptation of the screenplay version….when are we gonna get a faithful novel adaptation?

BTW here’s a fun fact, the director of this movie originally planned to have this film take place in the same universe as The Underworld movies…I mean the tone of this film matches, there’s just one major issue…the rating, yeah try justifying a PG13 Frankenstein movie taking place in an R-rated universe.

Also here’s a thing that doesn’t sit well with me, in which or any version of Frankenstein monster does he ever become the saver of humanity? Also who fights against demons along side the help of gargoyles? Yeah, that stuff happens in this movie…..its really hard to take Frankenstein’s monster being the saver of humanity well uh seriously….

Side note the script for this movie is a mess, the ending is all choppy….the CGI looks dated (even when it came out in 2014 it looked dated)

Anyway let’s get the rating out of the way so we can nitpick this film…. uh 2/10, ain’t my cup of tea…and from the ratings for this film I don’t think it was for anyone else either…..honestly don’t blame them….

So let’s get into the movie, shall we? Warning spoilers ahead for a decade-year-old movie…if anyone really cares let’s be real, so in the beginning we open up with what I consider the only good scene, it’s the film showing us the monster (played by Aron Eckhart) carrying his dead creator (Victor Frankenstein) across the snowy field to where his family was buried so he can bury Victor with his family….

All while telling his story that he was born, stitched back together but instantly was tossed aside by Victor….so he decided to murder Victor’s wife, which causes Victor to go after the monster where he’s hiding out in the snowy tundra…..unfortunately Victor dies….hence why the monster is being polite in burying Victor with his family…well that’s generous….que clip

Now bet y’all are thinking hey this clip sounds and looks cool, I bet we’re in for a great ride? And hey at least the monster looks more accurate to the novel, he has long hair and isn’t dark green, and is wearing a trench coat…so how bad can this be? Well too bad it’s all downhill from here…

So a group of demons comes to take away the monster, but a group of poorly CGI gargoyles comes in to save the monster…they take him back to their leader and their base which is in a church (how original)…he meets there a female leader who’s name is Leonore (played by Miranda Otto) she gives the monster a name since Frankenstein never gave him a name…so she calls him Adam….

Well, that’s a stupid name, I ain’t gonna call him Adam, heck this film isn’t called I Adam….so I think I’m gonna just call him Frankenstein (yes I know his name isn’t Frankenstein it never was) but which is more fitting for a monster like him? Frankenstein? Or Adam?

So anyway Frankenstein learns of a war going on between gargoyles and demons for centuries and the demons want Frankenstein for reasons we will get to later….but the gargoyles want his help to take down the demons…Frankenstein says no, so they at the very least give Frankenstein some weapons that have been marked with Holy so he can slaughter demons easier……so her right-hand man Gideon (played by Jai Courtney) (yes that Jai Courtney who played Captain Boomerang) is all like eh I don’t think we should be sending that monster out there and all that blah blah…

He’s an abomination against nature, he cannot be trusted to live….

Ok hold up a minute, I need to bring up something, this movie is about Frankenstein and there are gargoyles in this film with demons…who are at war against each other, now u would think with a premise they would dip more into the absurdity right? No, instead everyone in this movie is acting like there staring in the next Julia Ceaser!

This is definitely not that, so anyway centuries have gone on of Frankenstein killing demons…now Frankenstein is in the modern day…which this is where I think the film started going downhill for me, because Frankenstein, modern-day….cellphones, modern cars….yep sounds completely fitting am I right?

Also, he got a new attire, he now has short blonde hair and is wearing jeans and a grey hoodie…well forget about accuracy anymore, that flew out the window (pun unintended)…..

Also, side note I cannot take Aron Eckhart seriously as Frankenstein’s monster, no offense to him…he’s a great actor but the issue is Frankenstein’s monster is supposed to be ugly and the issue here is Aron Eckhart isn’t, he’s hot….they needed to add more makeup on him to make him look scary, all they did was added some scars on him which look very faded and barley visible….brilliant lolo…

And they as hell didn’t put any or enough makeup on him

So anyway let’s now talk about the main villain of this movie…..it’s this demon prince whose name is Naberius (played by Bill Nighy) who plays a scientist boss man who runs a scientist building where there secretly building an army of the dead so his demons can possess the dead reanimated corpses….

Well at the very least with this role we can now safely say that he is “Bill Nighy The Science Guy” hahahahahah oh come on yall we’re all thinking the exact same thing I was…

Anyways this scientist lady named Terra has no idea her boss is a demon and her coworkers are demons. Also bet yall wondering what are they working on? Easy how to reanimate corpses…so far they’re on the animal stage…well that’s what Terra at least knows off….

Anyways Adam shows up saves her, takes her with her…gasps, He kidnaped her…lolo

Eventually, Frankenstein gets captured by the gargoyles again…wow this Frankenstein sucks. They deem him not worthy of being alive, what are they judge jury, and executioner?

So then th3 demons come and attack the gargoyles fortress which is the church….which leads into this disgusting CGI mess of a battle, when I say disgusting I mean the CGI looks completely outdated…heck it looked outdated when this film came out…

Anyway, they eventually team up with each other after she’s revealed the truth by Adam (God what a stupid name for Frankenstein monster) also she grows a bit of a crush on Adam…..ok I’m gonna skip ahead and pretend I didn’t say that….

Anyways eventually Frankenstein bumps into Gideon in an alleyway where they duke it out one last time…..

Frankenstein kills off Gideon, he tells Frankenstein God will surely damn u…which Frankenstein says he already has…well he ain’t wrong, so then comes the 3rd act….they have to go stop Naberius and his army of demons from possessing the corpses he has in wired up to be electrocuted by lightning so the demons can take over them…..

So Frankenstein and Terra head to the lab, they try to turn off the machines but nothing is happening…while this is happening the gargoyles are outside doing a battle against the demons, oh joy more ugly CGI.

Anyways Frankenstein finds Naberius….the machines go off, and lighting hits all the corpses in cages underground….Naberius says u can’t stop this, nothing will stop their demise….all while he changes into this CGI demon….oh sorry wait that’s makeup? Ohhhhhhhhh, yikes.

Anyways the demon starts having demon souls go through Frankenstein to kill him, then the love interest comes in and slices the demon across the chest…

Frankenstein gets control, grabs the knife and slices him downwards on the scratch…to create a cross….this causes the demon to blow up, well that’s something…then the whole place blows up including his bodies underneath in the basement that are just hanging in cages….so they both run out…

The gargoyle queen flies them off to a building top, where they both kiss each other…he tells her the fight isn’t over yada yada…then the film ends on a narration by him saying I am Frankenstein….trust me dude no you’re not…

Anyway the end, dear lord finally this was such a painful movie to get through….but I hope y’all enjoyed this review, also here’s a tease for the next review I’m working on.