Beetlejuice: Let’s start off by showing y’all the trailer shall we?

Ok firstly yes I know I’m late to reviewing this but I’ve only recently watched this film….yeah I know I’m late, like uhhhh 30-something years late to this but now I’m reviewing this classic…..

So now it’s time to see if I liked this classic or not…but before we get into that let’s get the rating out of the way so we can get into spoilers…

Overall well eh, idk look I know this is a classic but….it’s just not my cup of jam….I can see and respect what Tim Burton was going for but hey look not every classic is gonna be for me….

However I won’t lie I really loved Micheal Keaton in this film, and also love Winona Ryder….the first ever thing I saw her starred in, was Stranger Things (eh eh see what I did there?) But yeah that was my first introduction to that actress….gotta admit she’s a really great actress…

So now this is the second thing I’ve seen her star in….glad her acting career kicked off after this….btw I gotta praise the practical effects they still hold up….

Also even though I liked Micheal Keaton, I gotta admit wish this film had more screen time for him…..fun fact he only had 17 min of screen time in this film, it makes sense, especially in a recent interview for the sequel that just came out….

Micheal Keaton said in an interview “The reason I wanted Beetlejuice to have the exact same amount of screen time as I did back in the first film is because he’s not supposed to be the main character….he’s the catalyst for events to happen”

U know what he has a fair point because if u go back and rewatch the first film, he really does come off more as a catalyst, rather than a main character…

BTW I have a couple of facts for y’all…

Micheal Keaton was the one who came up with the whacky all over the place green hair, he said he wanted that mad look to his character..

He also was the one who came up with the idea of moss on the sides of his face..

Oh also even though the film title is spelled Beetlejuice, in the film his name is spelled as Betelgeuse….why? I have no idea, I didn’t care to dig any further into that…..

Also as stated Micheal Keaton only has 17 min of screen time in this film…..even though some y’all might remember him having more screen time….

BTW I think a reason I didn’t enjoy this film as much is because I don’t like the main plot…it’s Alec Baldwin character with his wife are dead and they wanna scare out a new family that enters their house….oh wow so intriguing…

So overall I’ll give this film a solid 5/10, warning spoilers ahead y’all have been warned….

So this film opens up to its opening credits with its banger music which is made by Danny Elfman, who has a specific tone to his music….u might recognize his soundtrack from the 2 Tim Burton Batman films…

He’s a great composer…..here’s the opening credits music…

Yeah it really fits the vibes, also during the credits it pans over a town model display….

Anyways our film opens up with our 2 main characters named

Adam Maitland (played by Alec Baldwin)

Barbra Maitland (played by Geena Davis

These 2 love in this odd-looking house on a hill, Adam also builds a giant town model in the attic……anyways these 2 soon to be wed people go drive downtown before they go on vacation…..they end up driving over a red-covered bridge…where they see a dog!

So they dodge left to not run over the dog because they love animals….. aw, but this becomes a downfall for them….they crash into the side of the bridge….all while the dog is standing on a plank of wood that’s holding up the car from crashing into the river….

But the dog gets off the wood basically being like bye, so they crash into the river…..yeah take 2 guess what happens? They died, yep they died…

So they both go back home but do not know how they got back home…they try to leave to go back to the bridge to figure out how they got home…..but instead, they get teleported to a sand wasteland where this stop-motion white and black striped sand worm pops out…..insert Dune music here….

So now that they are dead what do they do? Well this book called for the recent deceased shows up to them….they try to read it but Alec Baldwin character seems to not be good at pronouncing words correctly…..so he’s me, got it….

Just then these 3 family members named

Lydia Deetz (played by Winona Ryder)

Delia Deetz (played by Catherine O’Hara)

Charles Deetz (played by Jeffrey Jones)

Lydia is this goth girl, Charles is a chilled-back man who wants to relax….btw turns out the actor is a predator btw…..yikes, and Delia is this nut job woman who is obsessed with weird-looking art…

Also, she is apparently the only one who can see the 2 dead people even though in the book it says the living can’t see the dead…..she forms a bond with them later on…..

She wants to renovate almost every bit of the house. So she brings along her work partner to help mark down areas they will repaint and demolish….

Charles tells them his office is off limits, which has tons of taxidermy birds displayed everywhere….yikes, yeah he’s a bird guy…

BTW Lydia gets the attic door open because It was locked….by 2 ghosts holding it closed….she locates the giant model of the town…also in this film she’s wearing a iconic looking big witch hat….it looks great, I’ll put an image here…

So now the 2 deceased want to get those people out of their house before they modernize it…

So they read the book and find out u can draw a door with a piece of chalk, knock on the door 3 times, and proceed to walk through it to the afterlife….

So in the afterlife, they find themselves in a waiting room where they meet a couple of odd ghosts…

A ghost who’s completely burnt to the skeleton because he smoked a lot.

A woman cut in half.

The front desk lady who has blue skin tells them to take a number and wait till they’re called, also we find out she slit her wrists and now she’s forced to be a front desk person….

So in the lore of Tim Burton’s afterlife, if u commit suicide u just end up becoming a front desk person in the afterlife…..well that sounds like hell….also that’s dark.

Also, they meet the lady in charge who has a cut across her neck…..she constantly smokes a cigarette and the smoke comes out of her neck, that’s an interesting detail….

She finally sees them after they wait for 3 fracking months……they ask for help, also they get a view of their house which has been reworked on and now looks ugly….again they’ve been waiting for 3 months..

Anyway they ask the lady for help but all she says is they need to work with what they have and learn to scare them away….they say they noticed a ghost on TV Named Betelgeuse….

BTW here’s that TV ad clip it’s funny…

My friend looked at me and said so he’s a demonic salesman….got it, hahahahhah

So she says dont say his name 3 times…

He used to work for me until he left and became a bio exorcist….trust me u don’t want his help…

But eventually after failed attempts at scaring them away, they decide to call up Betelgeuse…

So they go in the model and dig up his grave……he comes flying out of it and introduces himself to them, btw it only took 40 min into the film for him to appear….cue clip.

The first thing that is noticeable, he is a freaking perve…..I mean he comes up and kisses Barbra Maitland on the lips…..then while the 2 of them talk to each other in a corner….Betelgeuse takes a stick and tries looking up her skirt…..so then Alec Baldwin says to him I need to ask u a few things…..which leads to my favorite line in this film…

Betelgeuse: Sure sure sure go ahead and shoot

Adam: Well for instance, uhh what are ur qualifications?

Betelgeuse: Ah well, I attended juilliard. I’m a graduate from Harvard Business School i travel extensively, I lived through the black plague and I had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen The Exorcist about 167 times! And it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention ur talking to a dead guy! Now what u think, do u think I’m qualified?

Adam: Well what I meant was can u be scary?

Betelgeuse: oh oh ok thank u for asking, can I be scary? (Proceeds to turn around and point his thumb at them like he’s judging them) (Proceeds to turn back around to face them) What u think of this? (Proceeds to scare them by screaming and his face opening up).

BTW we never get to see what his face looked like during that….we just see this from behind him, so now the 2 of them aren’t pleased….Betelgeuse tries to get them to come back to his crib with them…

The 2 of them say Home, Home, Home…..they teleport back…..btw Barbara said that and she had no idea that would work….Betelgeuse sees they vanished and he starts screaming…he says ur working with a professional here!

Then he proceeds to kick the tree, which the tree falls…he then looks at it, turns around, and screams out “Nice Fucking model! (Then he grabs his crotch and jerks it) ohhhhhhhhhg kayyyyy then…

Yeah to say that was a shocking moment for a PG film Is an understatement….now granted PG was different back then….oh also fun fact that scene where the tree fell down it wasn’t supposed to happen….but Micheal Keaton stayed in character, ans improvised……I actually really like that…..

So now Adam and Barbara try scaring the people away…..2 different ways.

1.  I kid u not they put bed sheets on them and go around the middle of the night saying ohhhhhhhh we are ghosts, ohhhhhhhh……(scoffs) I find it funny that 2 ghosts need to even try to pretend they are ghosts….this is absurd..
Also they walk into Lydia’s room where she takes pics of them mistaking them as her parents and they are doing some perverted stuff.

Then why is she taking pics of that? What a weirdo…..she realizes they are ghosts so she says they have to do better then that to scare them…

2. The next day at dinner The 2 ghosts possess the family at the table including their guests…..and cause them to start dancing and singing the song “Tally man, Tally me banana song, I kid u not they near the end of the dance start to turn around and jerk they’re butts into the air….oh good grief what am I watching? Cue clip…

https://youtu.be/k09a7rYjKeU?si=Tvagc1e4OPlLAI5F

Like I said weird, this doesn’t scare them away….instead they ask Lydia to go upstairs and bring down the ghosts so they can show themselves…..because they want to promote this house as a haunted house…….ok then, yeah y’all epicly failed…..

So the 2 ghosts refuse to come down and be main attractions, oh and then guess who decides to haunt them? Betelgeuse…..he turns the railing into a snake with his head on it…..he scares them to the point the 2 ghosts interfere and go tell Betelgeuse that was too much…

Also now Lydia Deetz is scared of them she tells them to leave her alone….I mean fair, anyways Betelgeuse tells them he doesn’t want to work with them anymore then while he’s in the small-scale city a strip club spawns and he dances his way to it……oh jeepers, which Barbra’s reaction is why did u build that? Which Adam says I didn’t…….oh hahahaha.

Anyway, let’s give a rundown of things that come next…

• Lydia starts writing a suicide note……well this got dark, then she hears something from the scale city……she meets Betelgeuse, he tells her he can’t say his name so we will do charades…..he tells her he needs to get out of here…..so plz say my name 3 times?

Which she says why. I wanna get in there…which Betelgeuse says uhhh why do u wanna come here? Oh, I get it u have ur issues well if u summon me out here maybe we can talk…

She recognizes Betelgeuse was that snake who terrorized them the other day so she doesn’t summon him…

• both Adam and Barbara go back down one last time to get assistance……btw one my favorite lines is in this scene, there’s a group of dead basketball players behind the main boss lady…and they keep saying coach coach wheres the restroom?

Which she says, I ain’t ur dang coach…he survived! Lololo so then they leave….she tells Adam and Barbara to make the scariest faces….Barbara turns her head into what I can only describe as a crocodile and she pops her eyeballs out her sockets into her mouth…

Then Adam stretches out his front nose and jaw, gives himself rooster flaps on the top of his head nd takes his eyeballs out and now has 10 eyeballs on his fingers….so they leave to go scare the family away…

The basketball team return and say coach I don’t think we survived the crash, which the woman says really? U figured that one out? Hahahahahahha.

• the 2 of them decide they don’t want to scare the family away besides they are close now to Lydia….so they go and inform Lydia that they’re gonna allow them to move in and the 2 ghosts will be fine with it…..how nice…

So come to the third act, the family (minus Lydia) and the neighbors, and Delia’s work partner does a seance……because get this he found the book of the recent deceased and did some research….

So now he’s gonna summon both Adam and Barbara to them…he places their wedding clothes on the table…..they bring down the city model downstairs for some reason……the seance starts to work, Barbara vanishes and appears in front of them in the dress then Adam vanishes and appears in front of them in the tuxedo…

The 2 of them start rotting for some reason….and they don’t know how to stop the seance….so Lydia goes to the scale town table and asks Betelgeuse for help, which he’s sitting on top of 2 tombstones.

He says I’ll help u if u help me I’m what u would call an illegal alien….he then says look I need out for good and the only way I can leave is if I marry a human….I don’t make these rules up, heck I don’t have any rules…..think of this as a marriage of inconvenience, u gain something out of this and so do I then we can go on our own way….

Yep he wants to marry a 12-year-old, barf…..so she agrees, she says fine if u save them…..which he says sure…..so she says Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice….he says it’s show time…..btw cue clip.

So he comes out of the table with rolled-up arms and wearing a carnival-looking hat…

He unveils his arms and their sledgehammers….he uses them to knock the 2 guests through the roof…

Then he uses his powers to change the shirt on Delia’s work partner, so he runs off……then he ties both Delia and Charles in her ugly art sculptures…….he then brings the rest of her sculptures to life…and tells Lydia it’s marriage time, so uhhh cue clip…

He alters Lydia into a red dress, he changes his outfit into a red tuxedo…..he then alters the fireplace to be slightly taller, then this little gray alien comes walking out of it…carrying a book so he can wed them……ok I’ve seen it all.

Anyways Betelgeuse pulls out a wedding ring, but instead, he pulls out the severed human finger of his ex-wife, with the wedding ring on it….I’m no expert but I believe this finger belonged to his ex-wife Delores who officially appears in the recent film Beetlejuice Beetlejuice….but I might be wrong. But that’s clever foreshadowing….

Anyways, as he’s about to we’d her…..both Adam and Barbara come to help…..Barbara gets sent to the sandworm dimension, and Adam gets teleported onto the model town…he drives a small car into Betelgeuse’s foot to distract him…

Then Barbara comes riding on a sandworm which eats Betelgeuse……

Anyway film ends with the house going back to normal, guess Delia got over the new design she changed it to…..Betelgeuse gets stuck in the waiting room, he’s got the longest waiting number……he also tries touching the legs of a cut-in-half woman….yep he’s a perve.

Then he tries to steal the waiting number from a voodoo magic guy…..what ends up happening is he gets his head shrunken down just like the shrunken-head dude next to Betelgeuse….

Anyway Lydia returns home from school, she got a C in science because she refused to direct a frog, but she got an A in math…..so she asks the 2 ghosts to play the song Shake It All the Time….while levitating her into the air so she can dance….

Yes, that’s how the film ends, also the ghosts of the football players appear behind her on the stairs and start dancing for no reason whatsoever….the end, we’ll that was definitely a film that’s for sure…..I can tell this is a Tim Burton film, anyways hope y’all enjoyed this review here’s a tease for the next review I’m working on….till next time