Longlegs: Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers shall we?

Ok, I firstly address the way this film was promoted…..this film was promoted as the scariest horror movie of the last decade….

“Ohhh I watched it and threw up”

“I had to walk out of the theatre during the film, I had enough”

“When I saw Nic Cage pop on screen my heart stopped”

Or my favorite which came from the actress who plays the main detective, “when I entered the room and saw Nic Cage for the first time…my heart rate went up to 170, I was terrified” Here’s the clip btw…

Yeah, I just have a question, what are these people on? And can I have some of that? Because scariest film of the decade? Sorry to kill all ur expectations but no this is not the scariest film of the decade…

But I’ll say this it was unnerving, that’s for sure…

On a side note I don’t think the director of this film knows what’s he talking about, he said in an interview the reason he gave Nic Cage killer Longlegs that hairstyle is because the villain’s origin is he wanted to be a Glam Rocker but eventually became killer when he realized he was terrible at being a musician…

He also lived in his mom’s basement, now here’s the thing there’s a glaring issue….so there’s a website that promoted this film that says he started his killing spree in 1966, but here’s the thing Glam Rock wasn’t a thing until 1971….so even 20ish years before 1966 when he was a teen I think ain’t no way he was a Glam Rocker, do u see an issue here?

Yeah try making sense from any of that…trust me u will be left baffled, ur brain will be scrambled like scrambled eggs.

BTW according to the director the name Longlegs in this film doesn’t mean anything, he just thought it was a cool name….well ok then, that’s just a whole bunch of randomness…

Also, the director’s name is Oz Perkins, yes son of Anthony Perkins…

Anyway, let’s get the rating out of the way so we can get into spoilers and break down this film….

So overall I actually enjoyed this film surprisingly, the film does a good job of building tension. There is 3ish jumpscare, I have to admit these jumpscares were actually creepy….although I have some nitpicks which I’ll get into spoilers…

To simplify this down, no this film isn’t scary…but I still loved this film, I found it unnerving….the genre of this film creeps me out…no not horror but a murder mystery thriller…it just so happens to have a demonic angle to it, so it’s doing something different so I must give this film credit for originality…

I will say this though, seems the Longlegs killer is heavily inspired by Charles Mansion. Charles Mansion was a wannabe Rockstar, but when society said nah. He then decided to become a killer.

Longlegs Killer is a wannabe glam-rock singer, but when society said nah. He then decided to become a killer.

Charles Mansion didn’t really kill people, he essentially mind-controlled groups of girls who worshiped him, to go out and murder people for him.

Longlegs killer doesn’t kill anyone, he essentially gets Satan to go out and kill people for him, while he sirs back, makes dolls for Satan to posses then be taken to someone’s house so Satan can do the dirty work.

Also he’s very similar to the Zodiac Killer, just like the Zodiac Killer, Longlegs sends out Decrypted messages.

Anyways just thought I’d point that out, anyways back to the vibes of this film.

The best way I can describe the feeling u will get throughout this film is, well u know when u go see a horror film and u just know when the jumpscares are about to happen because most times those feel scripted. And u the audience just waiting in anticipation for the jumpscare to happen because ur on the edge of your seat.

But the jumpscare ends up never coming which just continues to leave u on edge. Yeah, that’s the feeling u will feel when watching this film….I’d change the marketing from scariest film of the decade to most unnerving film of the decade…

Also if ur going into this film expecting the usual jumpscare horror film, then how do I say this? U won’t enjoy this film then, this film is a slow-burn procedural crime mystery thriller….it’s what helps make this film unnerving. The concept, the fact the first 2 acts feel like it could hit too close to reality because murder happens in reality…will get under ur skin…

I still will say this the film isn’t scary, not even by a Longshot….but yes the film is unnerving. But so are a lot of serial killer mystery shows if done correctly…

So no this isn’t the typical typical scary movie y’all are used to, which I like…

The filmography of this film Is gorgeous, heck it’s one of my favorite parts of this film..

So I’ll give this film a solid 8.6/10, warning spoilers ahead y’all been warned…

So this film opens up with a 4 by 3 ratio-sized screen, which pans in on a white house in the forest with snow everywhere….anyway a girl inside notices this car pull up so she heads outside to see what’s going on….she then hears a noise behind her house a man saying cuckoo….

She then goes behind the house, doesn’t see the man…she looks around her, then she notices him in front of her, that moment startled me…we only see the bottom half of him, this pale man with pale long hair and a white outfit….he tells her ohhhh it’s someone’s birthday coming up, I put on my Longlegs today…..so I can’t fit in the camera view, then he bends down and a loud screeching noise happens (que jumpscare)….then we cut to the title “Longlegs”

Uhhhh sure, so cut to the future our child is now a grown adult named Lee Harker (played by Maika Monroe), when I say modern day I meant during the Clinton election period…btw I’ll share a different image of Longlegs with y’all right now..

Anyways, she and her partner Horatio Fisk (played by Dakota Daulby) are sent out to go hunt down a serial killer…..so they head to this neighborhood where all the houses look exactly the same….

The best way I can describe it is each house looks like a serial killer would live there, it looks like a neighborhood of Real estate for serial killers…..it almost looks like if Jeffrey Dahmer and John Stacy were the people’s real estate agents…..

Anyways while Horatio goes around asking people if they saw this killer they have a Pic of….our main character Lee gets out of the car all while having this 9-yard stare on her face…

BTW she has this stare throughout the entire film, it almost makes her look like she’s dazed and confused….also she’s a field agent…yeah sorry to say but first nitpick, ain’t no way realistically she be allowed to be a field agent…

Because as stated she always looks like she has the 9-yard stare on her….she barely talks, and when she does she just has the 9-yard stare….they would have tested her for drugs…

She goes through this film all dazed out and being like “Uh uh idk I can’t see that far ahead” Lady plz get a personality that is anything but a 9-yard dazed stare.

Anyway, she gets a feeling that the house in front of her is where the killer is as…she tells her partner We should call it in..he tells her we’re not calling it in on a hunch, but I’ll go check for u…

He goes up to the door and knocks….then the door opens and he gets shot in the head…well shite, she runs in and the entire house is wrapped in plastic…she arrests the man…

So she gets tested to see if she might be a psychic, because the fact she was able to predict 100% which house the killer was in without any prior knowledge of the house is insane…

So the official plot kicks in when Lee and her boss William J. Carter (played by Blair Underwood) have to investigate these murders that have been going on….

What they all have in common are…

• Each murder was of an entire family household.

• Each child that got murdered was a girl.

• Each child that was murdered was born on the 14th day of each month.

• Each crime scene had a cryptic note left with symbols on it, left by and signed by someone named “Longlegs”.

• Each murder was done without him in the place somehow.

So he hands her the files and tells her to get to work, she starts to realize a pattern….as in she finds out each murder victim’s child was born on the 14th day of each month…..womp womp, what does this all mean?

So from here on out I ain’t gonna mention every scene that happens, I’m instead gonna give the abridged version of events that happen from now on….also I’ll mention the specific parts that unnerved me…

So one night Lee is at her home in the woods, while she’s on the phone with her mom….she hears a banging come from the door….she takes her gun out and goes to the door to open it…but no one’s there, she goes to her window to turn on the porch light….off in the distance in the woods she notices a figure standing out in the forest….dunn dunn dunnn!

So she runs outside leaving her door open… sigh no don’t do that! But she doesn’t see anyone, just then out of view behind her we the audience see that man walking inside her house….I told u to not leave the door open..

Yeah, this scene unnerved me, but also it was predictable because as soon as she left the door open I was like yep the killer is gonna walk inside….. Anyway, she runs back into noticing a note on her desk that says don’t open until the 14th….

She proceeds to open it, inside of course is a happy birthday card with cryptic symbols….and signed by Longlegs, dunn dunn dunnn…

BTW she never brings this up to her boss, like ever….no idk why she doesn’t either, anyways she’s called into a crime scene where a family was found dead….the husband dead in the garage while the girl and mother are dead in the bedroom….

Lee and Carter go inside the room where this female FBI tells them u sure u want to see this? It’s graphic….she then pulls back the cover revealing the young girl has maggots all over her face, ahhhhh.

Also yes the girl was born on the 14th day of a month…..

Eventually, Lee finds out info that one child from a crime scene ended up surviving because she wasn’t home that day…she’s in the Psychiatric hospital….she used to live on a farm with her family…

Oh also Lee has been writing down numbers that she found in each letter….she uses a satanic book as a reference…..she marks down the numbers on a paper, and the numbers line up with what’s in the book…she then notices on a page an upside down triangle, she ends up tracing out the line of an upside down triangle by connecting 3 specific numbers together on the page…..gasp, Satan is afoot….also the triangle shape represents the unholy trinity…

So anyways they head to the farm, which Is another scene that unnerved me because of the atmosphere….the moon is almost out, and we just hear sounds of the wind as she walks up to the barn door…they notice these X shape metal marks on the door holding it together….they go inside look around, they go upstairs and notice a medium-sized cross on the floor…

It’s nailed to the floor, they pull the floorboard off…where they find a box underneath, and inside the box is a life-size realistic-looking doll of a girl…ehhhhhh, I hate porcelain dolls they creep me out….

So they take the doll to the morgue where the surgeon finds out 2 things..

1. The doll has human hair on the head, ewww.

2.  There’s an empty metal ball inside her head that he took out.

But when he puts his scanner up to the ball these weird sounds come from it…just then Lee starts seeing visions of a snake…ok then.

All while this is happening we finally see Longlegs (again) also he’s played by Nicolas Cage btw…..yes that Nicolas Cage…. Anyway, he’s riding up to a convenience store to get some items…

Inside he grabs 1 item…he goes up to the check out which only has 1 single manager who’s a teenage girl…she says will that be all, he then puts his hands over his eyes and starts saying Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo….she then says idk what that’s supposed to be…he then says it’s someone’s birthday today, isn’t it? Also here’s an image of him with his fingers over his eyes..

Which she nervously shouts out Dad the weird man is back….yeah he’s a weird man, also this weird man looks like an albino Marilyn Manson, he looks completely unrecognizable in this film…. that’s not to say the makeup used on him is good, no far from it…..

Also, how’s it he’s never been caught before is beyond me…..the guy sticks out acts abnormal….he ain’t blending in that’s for sure….

He then rides away then proceeds to start screaming nonsensical words in a slightly high-pitched voice…..the words I vaguely understood him to say scream was….

“Daddy! Mommy! Unmake me! And save me! From the hell of living!” Lololo yeah I broke out into laughter, I couldn’t take this scene seriously….also this is the most Nic Cage thing I’ve seen Nic Cage act like in a film…

Also here’s the clip, I hope y’all enjoy this baffling performance….

BTW we barely see Nic Cage in this film, he gets a food solid like 7 to 10 minutes in this film….this film is more about the mystery of how he’s killing his victims…

So now let’s go over the important notes…

• Lee gets introduced to Carter’s wife and daughter, one night when she drives him home after he gets drunk while she tells him what she found.

Yeah, this scene is odd because her boss brings Lee inside to his house to see his wife and daughter who should be asleep right when it’s midnight…..

• The little girl invites Lee to her room, although idk why she wants the 9-yard stare woman in her room….yeah quick question what adult would allow another adult to go into their children’s room with them? Especially near midnight.

• The girl invites her to her birthday that’s coming up. Womp womp.

• also Lee figures out that Longlegs must have an Accomplice with him to help him do the murders. That or she believes there’s dark magic going on through the dolls that might control the family to kill each other.

• also Lee and Carter go visit the survivor girl in the hospital, her name is Carrie Anne (played by Kiernan Shipka. U might remember her from that Netflix show The Chilling Tales of Sabrina Carpenter) anyways Carrie isn’t helpful, she’s also has the 9-yard stare…

This is where the film goes into weird dialog territory, I kid u not Carrie Anne says to Lee these exact words while talking casually to her “If I surly was told to kill u right now I’d do it right now. Just happy as peaches to watch ur head go pop pop pop”.

Or my favorite line from her “You dirties, flirties all angel B*ch”.

Yeah uhhhh Lee get out of that room now, this girl is cuckoo, btw did I forget to mention she goes in alone while Carter is standing outside? Anyways she asks do u remember having a doll that looked like u? Which Carrie says no, but neither do u…

How anonymous…also that wasn’t helpful..

• later on Carter tells Lee to go visit her mom because he finds out from reading Lee’s files that when she was a kid she witnessed Longlegs…but somehow she forgot all that, so maybe her mom remembers.

Speaking of her mom, her mom Ruth Harker (played by Alicia Witt) just sounds sus, on every phone call she has with her….the mom keeps saying “Lee is that u?” When she only has 1 daughter….” Lee did u pray” “Praying saves us from satan” Hmm I wonder if there’s something suspicious about her…

Lee goes and visits her mom who’s a hoarder, her mom asks have u been praying? Which Lee says no it terrifies me…the mother starts laughing and then proceeds to say ur right praying doesn’t protect us….well ok Mom thanks Mom, glad to see ur always the way you are…

She offers to make her mom some food, also she notices a bug come out of the closed basement door, and she starts getting visions again….she tries opening the door but it’s locked…womp womp…

She goes and asks her mom if she remembers her 9th birthday. That day when that random man came to their house? She says she doesn’t remember….but she also says something very strange, Lee says I’m not a kid mom I can know…which Ruth says “ur an adult because u were allowed to be, most kids don’t live long enough to get that privilege”.

Huh? Anyways she goes up to her room which her mom says she kept exactly the same….Lee notices a box she used to use as a kid, she takes it back to her home and goes through the belongings inside….

What she notices inside is frightening. She finds Polaroids of Pics, she goes through them…stumbles upon one of Longlegs, this creepy noise happens then a flashback happens to that day, yep jumpscare….

Also, even though I found thr jumpscares startling (which is rare for me) I’ll also admit that the jumpscares in this film feel very scripted…take that as what u will.

We see the mother come outside and ask who he is, he then just starts moving his hands and then proceeds to start singing in a rock and roll kinda of way, ok is it just me or is Nic Cage not scary? He’s just Goofy. Yet it somehow fits this film and the tone. Also here’s that clip…

🎵Let me in now, and it can be nice. Make me go now, and I’ll have to come back. Not once, or twice. But as many times as I like!

Anyway, she takes this Pic to Carter the next day, he says we should bring in ur mom for questioning to ask if she remembers this guy….Lee says we will later, and Carter says u sure u wanna do a city-wide manhunt with this Pic?

Just then we cut to Longlegs at a bus stop while carrying 2 luggage, yeah how did they located Longlegs to this secluded bus stop in the middle of nowhere is beyond me…..all the chief said was let’s put an all-out bulletin on him….idk how that git them to figure out he’s standing at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere…alone! But ur guess is as good as mine….so I’m not gonna guess. Good luck with that one.

Just then cop cars and a swat car pull up on both sides of him, he puts the bags down and lifts his hands up…a cop comes out and says sir I’m gonna need u to get on the fucking floor…am i supposed to take that like seriously? The guy sounded uninterested while saying it….also the fact he stopped and posed by pointing his finger at Longlegs, really makes this feel like I’m watching a satire instead of a horror film…

So Longlegs is finally brought in, and his rain of terror is done, right? Well, they all watch a recording of his interrogation where he just starts talking about Lee Carter and how it’s her birthday…he then starts singing Happy Birthday to u, Happy Birthday Lee Carter….they pause the recording and say This went on for 24 min…..yikes.

The female FBI is curious as to how Longlegs knows Lee. She’s not certain….so Lee asks where’s Longlegs? Which she says underneath u…well that’s an odd way to put that…..also Lee is certain this isn’t over yet…the number 13 she found on the notes hasn’t come to pass yet… It’s coming up, she believes his Accomplice will strike again…

So Lee heads into the interrogation room to interrogate Nic Cage sorry meant Longlegs, mixed them up….here’s final image of him in interrogation room.

She asks him about his second Accomplice and he just starts talking nonsense, he says we’ve been watching u grow up…and yada yada, she keeps asking…then she asks how he knows her. Which Longlegs says ask ur, mother….

She says my mom doesn’t remember anything, just then Nic Cage starts acting like Nic Cage…he says knock knock…..specially tbis is what he says and u try telling me this is scary…

“Knock Knock on the farmhouse door a nice lady with a Bible and a congratulations u have been selected u may now collect ur gift from the church” Yeah again plz tell me that’s scary? Because I’m not scared I’m just confused….this guy confuses me..

She tells him his rain of terror is over he’ll be locked in here forever, Longlegs says ur right I am done…but I won’t be stuck in here, I’ll be everywhere…

Also, she asks again who his Accomplice is, and he stops her and says “Well I’ll let u get started now” what the hell is he talking about?

He then lifts his head and says “Hail Satan” then proceeds to slam his head into the table multiple times and I mean multiple times….Lee gets up in shock, and heads to the wall while watching Longlegs kill himself….his final look at her shows him with his nose severed from his face…we see the skeleton nasal cavity….yikes, he falls dead….blood everywhere on the table…this is the goriest scene in this film…

That or the dead child with maggots over her face, u pick which u think is the goriest out of those 2 scenes….

BTW if u made it this far and still wondering why the hell was he called Longlegs? Yeah exactly, idk why either…well i do its because the director said the name sounds cool. But still, why he cslled Longlegs? How does it make sense in tnis world he set up?….

On a side note my overall expression on Nic Cage in this film…well besides some shots of him that were eerie, I still will say he’s not scary….he sometimes feels out of place in this film…for most of this film u have a bleak tone to a murder detective story…

Then Nic Cage will appear and just throw the tone off by being completely weird….so really he’s just Nic Cage being Nic Cage….what a shocker…but surprisingly I still enjoyed him in this film, the scenes he is in left me wanting to see more….that’s the power of Nic Cage for u….

Also, I’ll admit it, for the majority of this film this has got to be the most unnerving version we’ve seen Nic Cage….however those 2 scenes I mentioned where he went full on Nic Cage, I was just thinking yeah can u dial it back a bit plz? Also, I was kinda expecting him to go around killing people because it’s a serial killer murder mystery,  however, it doesn’t go down that route….I’ll explain what route it goes down soon…

On a side note, this isn’t the typical serial killer story u and I were expecting, usually, serial killers go to the place to do their work…but nope not Longlegs, he instead builds dolls in a basement, goes around acting weird (don’t know how he’d ever blend in society). Also he’s a murderer who doesn’t well go and murder his victims….no he sends satan to go kill them…..so does that that still qualify Longlegs as a serial killer? Because idk…I’m not an expert on that

Oh and put the power of Satan in the dolls he makes, then sends them out to the homes of the people he wants dead, so basically Satan is doing the hard work…got it, that sounds like a poor deal on Satan’s end if u ask me. He’s got to do the hard/dirty work while Longlegs gets to be weird and build dolls.

BTW If y’all haven’t figured it out yet, the main villain of this story is Satan. Yep, the murders were all caused thanks to the power of Satin…..well Satan Is a powerful being….

BTW I’m kinda starting to believe that this film’s serial killer is a commentary on how we build up serial killers in our heads as these horrific people who are clever and possibly scary looking..

When in reality 9 times out of 10 the serial killer turns out to be some pathetic middle-aged man who mopes around being like ughhhhh I’m so sorry ehhhhh, I didn’t mean to do it…

Also on a side note let’s be real here….the only reason why Nic Cage in this film was hard to be found and arrested is because this film takes place in the middle of nowhere basically…..with barley any community, the only people we see in this film are

Our main cop character.

Her boss.

A room full of cops.

The boss’s daughter and wife.

Lee’s mother.

Longlegs (who’s the serial killer).

A female register at a covenant store.

A couple of dead family members.

A locked up mental patient survivor.

Nope that’s it really, if this film took place in like New York City or some other big town area like that….let’s be real folks, Longlegs would been found….the guy doesn’t hide all that well…he sticks out like a sore thumb, and furthermore he just acts strange period…

He’d be locked up in a psychiatric ward if we’re being real…..also there be way more video camera surveillance so he’d be spotted a lot more easily…..folks do u hear what I’m saying? Longlegs sticks so much out like a sore thumb…..I’d feel like if he entered a bar he’d be picked out of the entire crowd as the out-of-place stranger….

This is no longer the Where’s Waldo….this more is like spotting a polar bear in a group of grizzly bears…..one of those just doesn’t belong here!

BTW sorry for about to go on a rant but I can’t express enough how overdone the whole Oh the serial killer is evil because he’s a satan worshiper trope is…let’s do a bit of a real real-life comparison, Charles Manson…..what made him scary is the guy is unhinged, u never knew what he’s capable of….the guy was known as the real-life boogeyman….that’s how scary he was.

He gained a cult following as well…also he’d act bizarre on camera just because he can….heck he was a charmer to some woman as well..

Now compare that to Nicolas Cage longlegs and it just feels like the director took the insanity of Charles Manson acting Goofy on screen, mixed with an albino dude, mixed with Marilyn Manson…and u end up with whatever the hell this role was, with Nicolas Cage moments he does…

Also ain’t nothing charming about Nic Cage in this film…..his character looks like an old potato sack with a mop on his head, if it got left in a pile of flower for too long…..also the guy is just bizarre, as stated this guy couldn’t blend in society if he wanted to.

Look I get it he’s supposed to be unhinged, but when the film goes out of the way to show us he really doesn’t do any of the murfers…no instead he builds dolls with satan balls inside it, which possesses house families he sends it too…then they off themselves. It really comes off as satan does more of the work then Longlegs over here.

So on Longlegs off time he just goes around acting bizarre such as saying Cuckoo cuckoo go a store employee….he just comes off more sad then scary…

But this also brings me back to how I say they I think this film is a commentary on how we build up serial killers in our heads as these bigger-than-life types of monsters…but turns out most of them are just pathetic middle-aged men….

Look I can’t express enough how much this film made me feel unnerved during the first 2 acts of the film…when the film is being this detective murder mystery, but as soon satan gets involved…the ball (eh eh see what I did there?) Dropped majorly….

BTW on a side note, so does this mean satan is the culprit? Because he’s the one doing the murders…..then what does that make Nic Longlegs over here? The puppet? (Hehe hehe see what I did there because he’s a puppet/doll maker).

Also, I’m seriously starting to wonder if Nic Cage Longlegs was a puppet in all this….because of the shot of him before it pans to him at the bus stop….we see a doll head in his basement, and then the camera fades to Longlegs at the bus stop…the dolls head lines up perfectly with his face…

But what might have hinted to me on the fact he actually might be a puppet in all this I’d the fact in the shot of him at the bus stop he looks drained, like he’s had enough with everything….I’m seriously wondering what deal he made with satan now…because my best guess is satan might have got more out of the deal then Longlegs was hoping….but that’s just speculation on my end.

So long story short is Nic Cage scary in this film? Hell no, especially with the questionable prosthetics….but unnerving? Yeah, I’ll give this film that he is unnerving…but scary? Nope! I’m left more baffled by his performance after this film…rather than being scared, yeah baffled is the correct way to describe how I felt.

Also due to the fact that the makeup on him looked terrible, seriously whoever did the makeup needs to be fired….or was the makeup done bad on purpose? If that’s the case then u succeed….but anyways since the makeup was so bad on Nic Cage I was almost half expecting him to tear it off and reval he’s been wearing a mask this entire time..

As if this was a Scooby-Doo episode or something “and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for u meddling FBI agents and ur little Psychic too”.

Anyways, Lee is pulled out of the room, Carter is yelling at her saying congats we had him…now he’s dead! Oh, and Carrie yeah she jumped to her death…today on the 13th! So Carter walks away saying there was no hoodoo voodoo magic god! Yep, he’s mad at her…

BTW this is where the film started losing me, granted nowhere as much as cuckoo but enough for me to still ponder about…huh did I or did I not like that ending we got? U will see why soon.

So the female FBI drives Lee home, Lee tells her she didn’t have to do that and the FBI agent says I wasn’t gonna let u drive home alone after what u saw…

Lee tells her she’ll go tell her mom to come with them they have questions for her….the FBI woman says ok I’ll wait out here…..hmmmmmm so that’s code for I’m an irrelevant character and I’ll be killed off in 2 min don’t worry about me….womp womp.

So Lee goes inside and doesn’t see her mom anywhere, just then we see her mom wearing a nun headpiece standing outside behind the FBI car….she takes a shotgun and shoots the FBI agent, I knew it….how predictable.

Lee witnesses her mom shooting the FBI agent through the window in the kitchen, she proceeds to run outside but doesn’t see her mom there….but she sees her mom aiming a shotgun at a child in the backyard….Lee goes and tells her mom to put the gun down, turns out it’s not a child it’s a life-sized doll of Lee as a kid……I’m sorry what?

Ruth proceeds to shoot the doll in the head which causes Lee to get some head pain then she falls to the ground unconscious….I’m sorry huh? I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot in this review, but I’m serious when I’m always left with “I’m sorry huh?”.

The best answer I can come up with is Lee has always been possessed by her doll of her….maybe would explain her 9-yard stare, and her ability to have a 6th sense…

Idk this film does a terrible job of explaining how or why Lee basically has a 6th sense….did Longlegs and Satan team up and give her that ability? Did she have this here her whole life? If Satan and Longlegs gave this power to her, the question still begs…why?

Why would a killer and Satan give a soon-to-be cop who will one day hunt down Longlegs! The ability to have 6th sense? Does that make any sense? Makes about musch sense as trying to wrap ur head around the film Cuckoo….that’s for sure..

Also, this black mist comes out of the doll’s head…..ok something strange is happening, so while Lee is unconscious we now get 5 min of exposition dump by the mom…..here’s what we find out….

1. Yes Longlegs did visit their home back on Lee’s 9th birthday.

2. He tells the mother I’m just leaving an early birthday gift, congrats u won a gift from the church (pssst it’s the life-size doll). Also, he says I’m friends with the man downstairs, which Ruth says the man downstairs? Where does he live? He says everywhere…u can call him as well, u may call him the man downstairs, uh huh…run, save ur lives.

3. Turns out Longlegs crafts these dolls on his own, so he gets the nickname the doll maker, dunn dunn dunnn….what a creepy name, I think I prefer that name over Longlegs.

4. One night he does enter the house to try to kill the kid and the mother, but she pleads with him to spare her…but mainly her daughter’s life.

5. She offers to help Longlegs out, so in return, Longlegs lets both of them live. He has Ruth work for him.

6. Also he’s been living in the basement of their house, how Lee forgot there’s a creepy serial killer grown-ass man living in their basement is beyond me.

7. Longlegs had Ruth deliver the dolls individually at each victim’s house…every time she’d be dressed as a nun and say congrats u won a gift from the church.

8. She then has to stay behind outside to witness the killings happen to make sure they happen, uh yikes. At first, she’s horrified by the sight but eventually, she becomes numb to all this so she can protect her daughter.

9. Well I guess now this explains what the mother meant by not a lot of kids got to grow up. U were allowed to grow up….also I guess now we know how Longlegs killed his victims from afar, it was demonic possessed humanoid dolls of the child in the family he wants dead…

10. Yeah the doll manipulates the parents to off one another including the kid….also here’s an image of one of the dolls with the cloth over it’s head when Ruth delivered a doll to a family….

So Lee wakes up, and she heads upstairs slowly because she hears the phone ringing, btw This leads to one of my filmography in this film….the entire camera flips upside down see we see her walking upside down….thus gave me vertigo..

Anyways, she answer’s the call. A call from Satan telling her how dare she miss the party…..so she drives to Carter’s house because she has a feeling they and their daughter are the final victims….oh no!

When she gets there, everything seems fine they tell her they’re about to open the gifts up…so they take her into the living room where Ruth is sitting across from them while the daughter is holding the doll next to her…..ok so either Ruth showed up and gave them the doll now..

Or they had the doll for quite a while now because that would make sense as to why Carter acted slightly weird earlier when he was like come in and see my kid and wife….at midnight nonetheless.

That would make more sense, but if Ruth gave the doll just now then no that earlier scene doesn’t make sense, I like to believe they had the doll for a while…but then why’s Ruth in the house? She doesn’t need to be in the house.

Anyways the 2 of them in a demonic voice tell her to sit down….Carter’s wife says Honey it’s time to go cut the cakes…which Carter says ok I’ll go get something to cut the cakes….which the wife says do u have to, which Carter says yes I have to get something to cut the cakes…it was ur idea..

He then tells her sighh come with me to the kitchen, which the wife says I’ll be right back…then Carter says no I’ll be right back u will still be in the kitchen….

Hahahahah, idk why that last line got me to laugh, I know I’m supposed to find this intense but the “no I’ll be back u will still be in the kitchen” bit got me to laugh, it felt like some sorta bantering u would see on a live stage comedy hour…

Anyways Lee tries to reason with her mom. But she tells Lee if they don’t die then the 2 of them will be dammed in hell forever….Carter off-screen stabs his wife, oh dear. He comes out with a knife…heads towards Lee….so then she takes a shot and kills Carter, noo I only vaguely cared about him..

Also, I’m so sorry for that kid because she now lost her family, anyways Ruth gets up with a knife, and reist to stab Lee so then Lee shoots her in the head, good riddance….so the film ends with Lee taking the girl away from the doll, Lee is also about to shoot the doll but she’s out of bullets I guess?

So she says let’s go…we hear Nic Cage saying hehe I’ll be everywhere! Then we cut back to that interrogation room where Nic Cage says Hail Satan, then gives a smooch…..the film ends. Welp that was both a bleak ending to this film and a very very odd ending as well….

Reason I don’t like this 3rd act is because I wish Lee’s mother wasn’t the Accomplice, it was too predictable….I guessed it as soon as she said her first lines…heck what didn’t help was the fact she was being vague to her daughter in person, furthermore, she has a locked basement….that’s sus, I was like hmmmmmm yep she’s the Accomplice….

Unfortunate that turned out to be true, SMH…also I still don’t know where I stand with the whole Satan aspect…..also btw u can throughout this film see an outline of Satan as a shadow in the background….ohhhhh foreshadowing…

I’ll end on this note, I will give credit where credit is due….the way they handle the satanic stuff doesn’t feel fully cliche, and I like how they utilized it….3 get 3 glimpses of Satan in the distance…when we quickly see him he has a goat head, instead of being the hot human Satan…like for example this image..

Also, the fact we see a glimpse of a creepy face under a cloth over a humanoid doll was creepy…..they didn’t give Satan dialog which thank u, and there was no I’m Satan I’m evil because I’m evil, and I’m gonna take over the world type Shtick….so bravo director..

Anyways, great film with, creepy atmosphere but such as strange film…..granted not as strange as Cuckoo. Anyway hope y’all enjoyed the review….here’s a tease for the next review I’m working on. See y’all next time.