The Adventures Of TinTin: Let’s start off with showing y’all the trailers shall we?

Land! We’re not there yet! No land!

Lolo sorry I had to do that, also a force of habit….

So I firstly wanna mention that this movie is an adaptation of a book series that my mom grew up with…when I was just a kid, my mom introduced me to the book series by giving me all the TinTin books…

I’m grateful to have got introduced to the books because damn they are loads of fun, I use to read a chapter or 2 every night in bed before I went to bed…..if some of y’all don’t know what TinTin is…

Well here’s a rundown, so TinTin is a book about this boy named TinTin along with his dog named Snowy, who team up with a guy named Calrain Haddock (who’s an alcoholic) and sometimes along with the help of the 2 twin detectives named Thomson and Thompson….

They go on archeological adventures that more often than not involve them hunting down long-lost pirate treasure……..yeah so that’s what the books are about…I highly recommend the books, especially if u love archeology-type stories….

So with that out of the way Let’s get the rating out of the way, shall we…….

Overall I’ll say I absolutely adore this film so much, that I find myself rewatching it every now and then….it’s a shame that this film never got a sequel, it’s been only what like 13 years?

There is a silver lining though, Steven Spielberg himself (who btw directed the Tin Tin movie) said that Tin Tin 2 is still gonna happen it’s just a matter of when…..yeah guys we might be waiting a longer while unfortunately…..but hey at least we have this film and the books…..

So I’ll give this film a solid 10/10 I highly recommend it…..ok from here on out warning ⚠️ spoilers ahead y’all been warned….

So this film kicks off when our main character named Tin Tin buys this model of a ship called the Unicorn Ship from a market sale……he buys the model off a guy then this person named Sakharine Red (played by Daniel Craig)…

Walks up and asks for the miniature ship model, heck he tries to offer a price to TinTin….but he doesn’t agree to the deal……

So TinTin takes the ship home, Snowy accidentally knocks it onto the floor but this might been a good thing because the mass breaks off then this metallic thin tube rolls out of it…..how peculiar, TinTin picks it up….then he heads out to a thing he had to go to that night…..

So later that night at TinTins apartment when TinTin returns home, he notices his model has been stolen…..so he goes to Sakharines home because he assumes he stole it….

Once he gets there he meets Sakhrines butler after he sneaks into the home…..also TinTin notices the model of the ship which is his right?

Turns out nope, it’s a second ship model…..he notices because this mass on the ship is still intact and isn’t broken….which Sakharine replies with an exactly now run a long home…..

Wait a minute how did Sakhrine know that TinTins model was broken? He said “exactly” to TinTin saying the mass on his model broke….ok things are looking suspicious…..

So TinTin returns home to see a random man knock on his door, it’s a guy he ran into at the market……he tells TinTin these people are not to be trusted, just then a car passes by they shoot the man with a machine gun…the guy collapses in front of TinTin in his home….as he dying he’s pointing at a newspaper he brought with his fingers covered in blood….

So TinTin gets the help of Thompson and Thomson, who are both voiced by Simen Pegg….of course, there not helpful they’re nitwits…..they also warn TinTin of a pit pocket thief on the loose….

So as they step outside TinTin gets his wallet robbed by the pit pocket thief……so he has both Thomson and Thompson to get his wallet back because there’s something important in his wallet…..(psssstt the important thing that’s in his wallet is a piece of paper he found in the metal Cylinder, the paper mentions about Sir Francis Haddock and his gold that’s gone missing) ohhh the plot thickens…..

So let’s skip a bit, TinTin and his dog get kidnapped by some goons, they wake up on a barge boat in a cell…Sakharine walks up to him to ask him about the metal cylinder and where is it….TinTin won’t budge, so he tells TinTin I will find it with or without u…

Ok so clearly Sakharine isn’t to be trusted….so he tosses him into a cell, but Snowy snuck on…he rescues Tintin, and they break out…they sneak into the captain’s room where they find a drunken captain named Haddock (Voiced by Andy Serkis) his character is a drunken buffoon….

So eventually they team up, and they leave the unlocked room which Haddock thought was locked….they sneak into the crew sleeping room were they are all sleeping so they van steel the keys to open up a closet…..a closet filled with rum which the captain wants, SMH…

So they leave, and TinTin forces Haddock with him…they sneak onto a lifeboat…..the villains notice them escape so they try shooting at them? Well, this got dark…

This leads to Haddock accidentally knocking TinTin and Snowy out with one of the paddles…because he’s a clumsy drunken idiot…

When they both wake up they realize Haddock has made a fire in the boat because he thought they were cold so he made a fire….which TinTin points out, in a boat?!….yeah u know what fair enough, Haddock is a moron…

He made a small fire in a wooden boat, he broke the ores up to use as firewood, which strands them out there….so he comes to the realization of what he’s done so he tries to extinguish the flame using alcohol!? OK, he really is a moron….

Yeah instead of it extinguishing the flames it instead causes a small explosion…..bravo captain bravo…..so anyways an enemy plane lands near, they sneak into the plane…

Knock out the men, TinTin uses a gun to threaten them, they try to fly to where Sakharine Red is heading to…..which leads to my favorite moment…

Haddock is drinking the fuel that’s in alcohol bottles, but they start running low on gas so he goes out on the front of the plane, opens up the exhaust and burps into it…..lolo….

Then he notices there’s a desert in front of them so he says “land!!” Which TinTin says “We’re not there yet!” “No land!”…then TinTin notices the ground but they end up crashing…

Do we cut to the 2 Thompson brothers who notice the pit pocket thief going up her home nervously….but remember these 2 are idiots so they don’t know he’s the pit pocket thief, they just think he’s an innocent bystander…they help Jim inside because they don’t want him to be pit pocketed by the pit pocket thief…

So they enter the building and notice shelves filled with multiple random wallets, they just think this guy is collecting wallets…. sigh these 2 are stupid…

They then notice 2 wallets that say Thompson and Thomson in them thinking that’s the guy’s name, not recognizing that they own 2 wallets! Then the thief just starts tossing the wallets at them saying here take them back I don’t need them!

Which they both say, calm down man we don’t want your wallets, sighhhh there are not his wallets! Just then they pick up a wallet that says TinTin in it…hm do they recognize that one but don’t recognize their own 2 wallets? What great detectives they are…

So back to the trio,  the 3 of them are now walking in the desert….Haddock has these visions of the past of his great great great ancestor who was a pirate….his ancestor Sir Francis Haddock was the leader of the pirate ship called The Unicorn….

This ship was holding a secret chamber of massive amounts of gold…..on an unfortunate day another group of Pirates attacked the ship while they were at sea, this pirate gang led by their captain named Red Rackham…..

That’s when Haddock collapsed from thirst….

Then he wakes up in a cabin building, turns out TinTin dragged him there….Haddock suffered from lack of water and all that because he has a small bit of dementia…he doesn’t remember anything he told TinTin….

Doesn’t remember TinTin, but thinks the Unicorn was an actual Unicorn….lolo, Snowy gives Haddock some alcohol Spirit to drink, which causes him to go insane and remember everything…he starts mimicking a sword fight on a table and saying to the death, Red Rackham!

So we see Haddock fighting Rackham…..he unfortunately loses,  So Red Rackham forces Sir Francis Haddock to reveal the entrance to the secret stash of gold….Haddock shows him it on the promise of him releasing his men, and Red Rackham agrees….but what a shocker he lied and just orders his men to toss them men overboard to their deaths….dunn dunn dunnnn…

So Sir Haddock gets tied up, he escapes…..places TNT in the gold room, and uses TNT powder as a fuse so he can light it up from a distance so he can get off the ship, Red Rackham notices…so they fight…

All the while Haddock lights up the fuse with a lamp, anyways near the end of the fight Haddock stabs Rackham in the chest and uses his sword to rip off the mask around his mouth which reveals his face….and we see Red Rackham looks exactly like Sakharine….dunn dunn dunn, turns out Sakharine is related to Red Rackham….

This isn’t just about Sakharine wanting to find the gold, this is about getting vengeance on Haddock for his great great great ancestor for killing Sakharine, great great great ancestor….

So anyways the Unicorn Ship explodes, and Haddock jumps off board…..while the ship is sinking we see Red Rackham screaming out to Haddock “I curse u! I curse ur name! And all who come after! Well shall meet again Haddock! In a different time! In another life!”….

Yeah, it was told that the Haddock family has been cursed, guess we now know why….so Haddock was able to grab some of the gold in his big hat while the gold flung into the air due to the explosion…but the rest of the gold is down at the bottom of the ocean with the ship….

So now the 2 of them have to head to Rome or was it Rio? I forget, either of those 2 because this is where the 3rd model of the Unicorn is located…it’s being displayed on stage during an opera live in front of everyone so of course, Sakharine is heading there…so they have to get there first…

Anyway they get there, but Sakhrine and his hawk are there already…..the opera lady breaks the glass with her voice, and the hawk flies down knocks down the model, and grabs the vile inside….so now a motorcycle chase happens downtown…..

I’ll insert a clip here so y’all can see this epic chase….

I love that Haddock grabs a bazooka and tries to shoot it at Sakhrines car but instead he accidentally shoots the damn….”did u hit anything?” “Oh dear” lololo

Anyways near the end of the Chase TinTin grabs the vile, right as he gets near the beachside…but Sakhrine has Haddock and is about to drop him in the ocean…he says hand me the vile or else Haddock gets tossed in the ocean…so TinTin hands over the vile unfortunately….but Sakhrine still shoves Haddock into the ocean….so TinTin has to go in and save him…..

Anyways Sakharine heads out on a boat, TinTin has given up hope because Sakharine has got all 3 papers which will lead him to treasure…..just then Thompson and Thomson both show up and hand TinTin his wallet back….inside is the a note he took down….anyways he figures out where Sakharine is heading to….it’s towards back home for some reason…huh?

So they get to the docks where he stops at, gets in his car…just then a crane comes out of nowhere and lifts up his car…..it’s the cops they are there to stop him ans apprehend him…..anyways they put the car on the ground, as they walk up to the door Sakharine walks our aiming a fun at them…

So then Sakharine and Haddock both head into 2 cranes across each other and start fighting using the cranes…..finally Haddock remembers, he recognizes Sakharine as Red Rackham….which Sakharine says that’s right, as Sir Francis Haddock was urs…..and until u have remembered the full story killing u wouldn’t have been as much fun….then he knocks down Haddock’s crane….

They continue the battle on a boat, Haddock using a metal pole to fight while Sakharine pulls out a sword out of his staff….they both fight, then Haddock decides to toss whiskey bottles at Sakharine….but on his last bottle, Sakharine gets up with a match and is about to burn the 3 papers…he says legends say only a Haddock can figure out the map…but it took a Rackham to do the job….go ahead take ur last drink it’s all ur good at…

Just then Snowy snatches the papers out of Sakharines hands, then Haddock says thundering typhoons….nobody takes my ship, then proceeds to knock Sakharine into the ocean…then both Thomson and Thompson free Sakharine from the ocean then they both say, ur under arrest…to be precise, ur under arrest….he then gives up….

So TinTin and Haddock put the papers up which crests coordinations to where to go, so they ride off on a 2-seated motorcycle…..the map leads them to Sakharines house which gets this was Sir Francis Haddock’s house so now this is Haddock home….the butler is his…but where’s the tressure?

They end up locating it behind a bricked wall, they locate the hat filled with gold in a globe…..while Haddock puts all the gold in a container and then wears the hat, TinTin notices a paper at the bottom of the bin….the butler brings them alcohol to celebrate….

Haddock says all well that ends well, we found the treasure…u finally have a story to write…which TinTin says it’s not over, Sir Francis wrote in this note telling the location of the ship where it’s at the bottom of the ocean with tons of gold inside it…how’s ur taste for adventure captain?

Unquenchable TinTin….then the film ends with Snowy barking happily, setting up for a sequel that unfortunately hasn’t come out yet…but Mr. Spielberg is adamant about making a sequel…he says it’s coming….I hope y’all enjoyed the review