Willy Wonka Experience Glasgow: Ok, we need to talk about this…..thought it is the perfect time to mention this since I’m reviewing the 3 Willy Wonka movies…..this thing that happened was a recent event that occurred in early 2024 this year…if I recall like near the end of February during one of the weekends….

Yeah, where do I begin with this mess…well firstly, this event was promoted and promised to be this fully fledged out, fully immersed Willy Wonka Experience that everyone of any age can come on down to in Glasgow…. their website showed these gorgeous fully detailed Willy Wonka candy type world…which seems too good to be true if you ask me….that’s because it was..

Look, I’m not here to insult people. No, that’s not for me to judge…I can understand why you want to take your kids to this event. Especially after the success of the Wonka movie….however, I can and will judge the people who went on their website then somehow fell for this event…let’s list the red flags this website had

The first red flag: the corporation promoting this is named The House of Illuminate….House of Illuminate? Seriously y’all going to believe a corporation called The Illuminate?

The second red flag: the website itself…oh lord, the website. If you even take 1 second to look at the main home page of the website, y’all with brain cells could quickly tell the images were all AI computer-generated art pieces. We’re no actual life footage or pictures, no just AI art only….ok that’s suspicious….

Hey, do you want to hear something else suspicious? It’s the lack of proper English on their website….here let’s take a look at some examples, shall we?

So there’s an area on the page that describes what they think people’s reactions will be like, what they have to say, and here’s what they felt we, the audience, would say..

LIGHTNG

DIMDICU

DIM TIGHT

TWORDING

DIPPRACTIONS

DODJECTION

VIVUE SOUNDS

ENIGEMIC SOUNDS

SUITE

UNREVEL

COMPANY

UKXEPCTED TWITS

Wow, you heard it here, fellas, Dodjection. That’s right, we’d be expressing and saying Dodjection (whatever the hell that means)

Oh, things get worse. Keep scrolling down, and you get bombarded by an image that says this

ENCHERINING ENTERTAINMENT:

“Catgacating. Live performances. Cartchy tuns, exarserdray lollipops, a pasadise of sweet teats.”

A Pasadise of sweet Teats” Yeah, and this is the website people fell for? Seriously? Again, take 2 min to even look at the website, and it’s obvious you’re about to be scammed out of y’all money, idk what else to say here.

Oh, if all that sounds bad, we’ll get this. We didn’t even get into the travesty, oh yeah you can tell this was one giant mess….so now let’s get into the travesty, to no one’s surprise (we’ll ok everyone’s surprise, I guess) the event was a massive failure…they got there waited in line, got inside and was welcomed to a nightmare….

I’ll post images here, including their version of Willy Wonka and The Oompa Loompa…

So, where to begin? Well, let’s mention that the fact what the people saw on the website and were promised…didn’t come to pass…

Instead what they got was a blank empty warehouse with very minimum details such as only a small handful of candy shipped items, a paper printed wall print, a cardboard cutout of a rainbow for an entrance, a small area filled with cafeteria tables and seats…..yeah doesn’t this sound like the true Willy Wonka Experience?

Now let’s talk about the Oompa Loompa in the room, or as many people have come to call her the Meth Lab Loomps, yeah the Oompa Loompa is just one single person (played by a female actress who was looking for a paying job, and so happen to get hired for this role..oh u poor soul)..

Anyways in the image as yall can see, she looks depressed. I mean is that really a surprise though? I would be as well….according to her later on when she came out and spoke about the incident during an interview, she said that they were given there scripts the previous night only, they had one night to prep for it….they had to come in that morning to get costumes put on them…

By that point the building designs didn’t seem fully finished even though they said the previous night oh don’t worry there’s more, it’s all coming….yeah the other stuff never came (or there was never any other stuff) but one thing is clear they didn’t have enough actors…

Just one Oompa Loompa and a Willy Wonka, and an Unknown figure (who will get to in a small bit) so they told them that day after the 3 of them dressed up that actually were scrapping the script….just come up with a script in the top of your head, just wing it…..oh boy that’s a sign of a disaster….

But things keep continuing to get worse….because now let’s focus over to Wonka himself….who is being played by a ginger-haired guy, who later on came out on social media and admitted that the fact he was hired to play Wonka made no sense, he in fact gives off more of Oompa Loompa vibes instead of Willy Wonka vibes…..

Also full disclosure I feel terrible for these actors, they had no idea this was gonna be a scam….they just got hired and accepted it because well who doesn’t like money right? Also, they wanted to give the kids a gold old time…..

Too bad that’s not what happened, but hey let’s talk about 1 positive thing that did come out of this….the female Oompa Loompa became popular in social media due to the fact she gave the kids more than 1 jellybean from her pile to try to cheer them….

Oh did I forget to mention that they didn’t give the kids any chocolate? Hmm that’s strange for a place called the chocolate factory…no instead they handed them 1 single jellybean and a small dentist cup of lemonade…..oh boy yep I’m feeling the chocolate factory experience!

I mean 1 jellybean and a small cup of lemonade? What the hell does that have to do with the chocolate factory? So since we’re talking about there not being any chocolate at this event, I think it’s time to mention The Unknown…..say what now?

Yeah, The Unknown, but Jarrod what is The Unknown? I bet y’all are asking…well glad y’all asked….for u see The Unknown is this mysterious evil chocolate maker who wears a silver blank mask and dark robes…he lives in the walls of the factory, and he also steals Wonka’s chocolate….

Oh boy, there’s a lot to unravel here, firstly he’s an evil chocolate maker? What the hell does that mean? Does that mean he’s evil and he makes chocolate? Or does that mean he literally makes evil chocolate? Which then begs the question what the hell is evil chocolate?

Also, he lives in the walls? What is he, a Gremlin?

Well at least we now know why they didn’t give any chocolate away to the kids at this event, the unknown stole all of Wonka’s chocolate…that or the creators of this event were cheap and this was a scam, there’s that too…

Also The Unknown? Huh funny I sure as hell don’t remember they’re being no one by the name Unknown in any iteration of Willy Wonka lore. That’s because that’s never been a thing!

Oh here’s a funny thing, apparently get this some low-budget studio is already talking about making a movie about The Unknown….hey if it was me I say that needs to remain Unknown…as in never be made….jeepers this is gonna be a mess…

Do not give them your money, and do not feed into these weirdo’s delusions….if u go and pay to see a movie about a completely new character that was never a thing in Willy Wonka….then ur supporting them and their whacky ideas, I repeat Do not fall into this trap!

So overall what do I think of this incident that happened? Well, I hope this becomes a lesson in not how to run a project…..plus just don’t scam people of their money, that’s shitty…..huh funny enough the parents called the cops because they were demanding for their money back…yeah understandable, I would as well……

Well not much more to say about this event, except for I hope the actors recover from this….but furthermore I hope the kids and the parents recover from this as well….this was just sad, the guy who ran this money scheme should be sued and face some time in prison if u ask me….

So those are my thoughts hope yall enjoyed this read, yes I know it’s different to the usual reviews I do…but I just had to review this tragedy…plz recommend this with people u know….thanks.