Ahsoka Show: well starts off with the trailers shall we?

Ok where do I even begin with this show? Well I think I wanna get this statement out of the way….I really think that the Star Wars fan base no longer has any form of good taste when it comes to Star Wars because they think this show is actually great, has great writing…..yeah no sorry no it doesn’t, the script writing in this show is abysmal, i mean I just got back recently from seeing Saw X which I’d argue has way more better competent writers behind that film, while it seems the people at Disney and Lucasfilm are as inept as a bunch of chimpanzees…..this is why Star Wars can and will never evolve into anything good because we got idiots like these people being like yayyaayay duuhh duhh best Star Wars ever….also heres poster of Ahsoka and her robot

Yet when we actually got a great Star Wars show which was Andor, many of these so called fans said boop boring it stinks…….so I think I’m done with Star Wars, no seriously I am because I should just expect that we’re not gonna get any better content relating to Star Wars….worst of all this shoe is supposed to set up a movie that Dave Filoni is making….FYI this show didn’t get me interested in the film he’s making, heck I don’t think I’ll go see it in theaters I’ll just wait till it comes out on Disney plus so I can watch it….and the only reason I’d wanna watch it is to review it….not because I’m intrigued oh no that ship has sailed somewhere in a galaxy far far away (pun fully intended)

Also another issue I have with this show is it heavily and I do mean heavily relies on the fans to have watched all of Star Wars Rebels, which btw most or the majority of them haven’t….not compared to the Clone Wars where most if not all the fans watched that show…..btw curious on how much this show relies on yall to have watched all 4 seasons of Rebels? Easy this shows plot picks up the story that season 4 ended on….brings back the animated characters from that show to here in live action oh and furthermore the whole plot of this show is to stop the return of Grand Admiral Thrawn…..

I bet most yall are wondering wait who’s Thrawn? Easy go watch Rebels seasons 3 and 4 he is the villain in those 2 seasons……he’s this blue-skinned guy with dark blue hair and red eyes and he wears a white imperial officer suit….plus he’s a very cunning and smart Admiral…heck some would argue his intelligence can outsmart the emperor and Vader’s intelligence…..what makes him threatening is that he doesn’t have any force abilities no he’s just a very smart guy who knows how to study his enemies and defeat them….btw he studies his enemies art…like the planet they come from, the town they grew up in and he actually studies there art like he will steel art from each place and study them and keep them for his own….he has a fascination for art….

also the acting in this show is dull and boring they took the most vibrant best character from the Clone Wars…Ahsoka herself and made her as interesting as a plank of wood…..oh boy I can see where this is going…heck everyone in this show is dull and boring, well ok not everyone there’s these 2 new characters who are not exactly sith or jedi but there dark jedi, there names are

Baylan (played by the late Ray Stevenson, may he rest in peace)

Shin (his apprentice)

The 2 unique things about them are that 1. Shin has an apprentice braid on her which only Jedi use that training technique not Sith… 2. Their lightsabers aren’t the traditional crimson red no there’s are orangy red…. and 3. They’ve hired mercenaries, these 2 especially Baylan are my favorite part of this show because they’re the only 2 who put emotion behind their acting and don’t act dull and boring….btw I wanna show y’all my favorite clip of these 2 which so happens to be the opening scene of the first episode, which involves them going on a rebel cruiser to rescue Morgan Elbeth…

Now the only issue with this clip that comes to mind is that Disney is copying the Darth Vader hallway scene from Rogue One….yeah can they stop doing that? They’ve done it for

Luke in Mando season 2

Darth Maul in the Clone Wars season 7

And now Ahsoka Show….I get it, the gimic worked with Vader and captured a great scene that’s become iconic and now ur trying to capture the same thing over and over again but it’s getting old….also they free Morgan Elsbeth who’s now a Nightsister…..hmmm funny because when she appeared in Mando season 2 where Ahsoka defeated her she definitely wasn’t a Nightsister…she was just some imperal whacko, see my issue with this character is she’s whatever the script needs her to be….also she’s planning to go find Thrawn who is missing….we’ll get to that in a bit

But for now the plot kicks in when Ahoska goes back and visits her old friend/apprentice Sabine (yeah when was she ever her apprentice? Easy no clue the show doesn’t care to explain when either) anyways Ahsoka has found this map to locate Thrawn and possibly Ezra (no not Ezra Miller lolo) btw if yall wondering what happened to Thrawn and Ezra? Well at the end of Rebels season 4 Ezra uses space whales that have warp speed posters to travel him and Thrawn and his cruiser away to some other galaxy…btw keep in mind that all takes place before Rogue One so about a decade ago because now the Ahsoka Show takes place after Mando which takes place after Return of The Jedi….yeah both characters have been missing for a decade in the timeline? Are they even possibly still alive? Quick answer yes they are..

So anyways uhhhh Ahsoka and her robot friend named Huyang (voiced by David Tennant) no this isn’t David Tennants first time in star wars he voiced this same robot in The Clone Wars…anyways after telling Sabine that this map is important and cannot get in wrong hands, Sabine takes the map back to her house where she decodes by uhh twisting 3 sides….so why couldn’t Ahsoka do this and figure it out? I mean she said she needs Sabines help to decode it and all it required was 3 twist and turns….our wise Jedi Ahsoka Tano ladies and gentlemen she can’t even figure out a glorified rubric cube that only has 3 sides on it……..anyways so unfortunately for Sabine uhh Shin and some robots show up up to steel it from her…they do and Sabine pulls out Ezras lightsaber because I guess she now has Ezras lightsaber somehow even though I thought he had his lightsaber at the end of Rebels granted I might be wrong…btw here’s an image of Sabine from Rebels and this show u tell me if u think they translated her well at all…

So then Shin stabs Sabine in the side of the ribs with her lightsaber which does no damage to her she doesn’t die she’s not Fatally injured…..hmmm this is almost making Qui-Gon from Phantom Menace look like a P**sy….oh how dumb of him he died because he got stabbed? Clearly, he didn’t put on his Disney plot armor….sighhh Disney u have no idea how lightsabers work, I mean u had the Grand Inquisitor in the Obi-Wan show survive being stabbed by a lightsaber and had Riva survive being stabbed 2wice In the same organ….yeah sorry that’s not how lightsabers work there supposed to be deadly weapons that can cut and burn through things, there innards should be melted….but nah this is Disney, logic has been thrown out the window plus good story telling as well….

So once she heals up with little to no convenience……so anyways while she’s healing up both Ahsoka and Hera Syndulla go investigate something that’s going on at a junk yard that’s run by the new senate….when they get there they meet Taub from the TV show House, he shows them around and we find out that they hired ex imperial people but some of them still stick with the cause so they allow this shop to steel a giant engine from a ship that they need to use……here Ahsoka fights against an inquisitor named Marok, who is wearing a black rusty knight armor….I guess that’s cool looking?

Also heres a clip of Hera Syndulla flying her ship up In the sky to chase after the ship thats stealing the engine

Here let me summarize up the dialog between Syndulla and Chopper the robot and u try telling me this is peak star wars

Chopper: shoot it down!

Syndulla: I can’t just shoot it down it would crash into the port city

Chopper: and that’s bad?

Syndulla: just ready a tracking device and don’t miss this time

Chopper: not it, not it, oh that’s it….not it

Chopper: fine, fine, fine

Chopper: mom, did u go through my stuff?

Syndulla: no I didn’t go through ur stuff

Chopper: yes u did

Syndulla: did u look under the backup battery?

Chopper: what? Oh….

Sighhhh, and this is what the fans call peak Star Wars btw……Anyways wanna know what the baddies are using that engine piece for well get this Morgan Elsbeth is making a giant goldan ring machine that can travel at warp speed to travel to Thrawn, guess what the ships called? The Eye of Sion…no I wish I was kidding too but I ain’t, it’s a giant golden ring called The Eye of Sion….LOTR fan much? So let’s skip a little bit because honestly yall aren’t missing much, so Ahsoka and Sabine head out after Ahsoka being hesitant….btw wanna know basically what Ahsokas character arch is like in this show?

Ohh I don’t think we should bring Sabine with us…….ok fine she can come….wow what a great character development aren’t I right? But she has her reason she’s afraid she’ll end up being like Darth Vader because her master was Anakin who we all know turns into Darth Vader….ok that’s understandable, do I think this was executed correctly? Nooooope

BTW before I go any further I wanna mention one more important thing I hate about this show…the horrendous dialog….I kid u not this is how people In this show talk to each other

Sabine: it’s been a while

Ahsoka:…………..things have changed

Sabine:…………….no kidding

Seriously who talks like this? Who talks with that long of a pause in between each dialog..i mean u don’t see people going around talking like this

Hey how are u?

(Long pause)……….good……..u?

……….(long pause)……good

And once again this is what the fans are calling peak Star Wars and good writing? I swear they wouldn’t know what good writing is if it hit them in the back of there heads…no good writing is Game Of Thrones seasons 1-6, One Piece Live Action Series, Saw X, Dungeons and Dragons Honor Among Thieves, and Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1……oh and Andor, yeah sorry Ahsoka Show ain’t good writing….it feels like it was written by a bunch of children….

So anyways they both make it to the planet where our baddies are at, uhhhh Sabine faces off against Shin while Ahsoka battles Marok…..btw fans were theorizing (which I Hage theories hate them) that Marok would be someone important that we already know…but nope he’s a nobody he gets killed off by Ahsoka…but some green cloud dust comes out of him when he dies….gaspss I wonder what that means? Oh wait I don’t care…

Then Ahsoka battles Baylan…..he mentions to Ahsoka he was at the jedi temple during the purge yada yada and all that and he knew what happened to Anakin Skywalker…..so they fight and guess what happens he knocks Ahsoka into the ocean where she’s drowning…..while that happens Sabine tries to destroy the map bit she can’t bring herself to do so…..Baylan promises to help her find Ezra if she hands him the map, so she does and the 3 of them leave on the newly finished Eye of Sion…to head to Thrawn….dun dunn dunn…

But before we get to that Ahsoka wakes up in the world between worlds, if u none Rebels fans don’t know what that is? Let me simplify it….it’s basically Star Wars version of time traveling, u can visit the future and past in that void u can also save people from the past or future who’s about to be killed off ….sighhh I hate time traveling it opens up a can of worms…which now Lucasfilm and Dave Filoni has started….I mean now this just leaves us so many questions such as well if this exists then why Vader didn’t learn of it and try to use it to go back in time to save Padme?

Why didn’t Maul use it to go into the past to kill Obi-Wan before he cuts him in half?

Why doesn’t Obi-Wan use it to go back and save Qui-Gon? Heck why doesn’t Vader go back and save his mother from dying? Heck why doesn’t the emperor try using it to go back and prevent Vader from tossing him down the Death Star shaft? See this all gets Convaludicated very quickly….I hate it, thanks alot Dave Filoni ur proving to me u shouldn’t run Star Wars….u were amazing at doing The Clone Wars but that’s it, ur way to obsessed now with Ahsoka….and u ain’t even executing that all to well either……sighhh

Don’t worry things get worse we see Anakin Skywalker…..what!!How? Is he a ghost? Or is he a vision? Or something in the world’s between worlds? The answer is who cares the show isn’t gonna answer that I mean u think these scriptwriters are competent enough to know what they’re writing? Pffftt stop kidding urself…..

Anyway he takes her back in time through Clone wars era where we see Anakin wearing Clone Wars armor and younger Ahsoka oh and Captain Rex…..ohhhhh this this is so good Star Wars I mean just look look it’s Haden back as Anakin and he’s he’s wearing Clone Wars armor that equals good writing…..good grief fan service is all what this is, and not good fan service if u ask me…heck they look more like cosplayers wearing Star Wars outfits rather then them being there animated counterparts…..also is this were we are at this point with Star Wars? The fans just prefer fan service? Because somehow fan service equals good?

Well at this point why don’t we just throw out script writing as a whole and just put in fan service everywhere in a show and film…I mean if that’s what fans consider good script writing then what’s the point of scripts anymore? Kill me

Oh look Haden he’s he’s doing the arm crossing thing and looking at his padawn Ahsoka in a similar way to season 7 episode something….he he clearly did his homework, this is peak Star Wars…..sighhhhhhhhhhh….btw here’s poster images

Anyways the fans really got excited when Anakin pulls out a red lightsaber and he cuts in and out of being Vader and Anakin…..once again it barley takes much to impress Star Wars fans these days, u may as well dangle a treat in front of them and they would be like mine mine mine mine mine mine mine…..like a bunch of pelicans….anyways

I’ll admit there’s only one cool shot I do like it’s of Anakin walking straight forward into a war field with Clone troopers then he quickly flashes into Vader we see there’s no clones around him he’s alone…then it flashes back to Anakin, yeah ill admit that’s a cool shot…but that’s really it, it’s a cool shot that’s not enough for me to be like ohhhhh the scripts amazing….yeah hehehehehe no no it ain’t

So anyways Syndulla and some Rebels come investigate this planet she also brings her son who had green hair, why bring her son out to unknown territory that may or may not be dangerous? Who knows, oh dont worry it gets worse so he tells her he deels something in the ocean so she and the rebel guy flies around investigating the ocean she leaves her son and Chopper behind on the rock and guess how long she leaves him there? For an entire night!! Until next morning!! Wow mother of the year aren’t I right? Also how did Ahsoka not drown if she was underwater for over a day!? Who knows and who cares at this point clearly the people over at Lucasfilm don’t care….so why should we care at this point!?

Anyways they rescue her, she decides to take her ship with Huyang and go inside one of the space whales mouth to have them teleport her to the location Thrawn Is at….no I wish I was kidding, no I ain’t lying and yes it is as dumb as it sounds…..btw Syndulla has to head back to the rebel base because she’s being put on trial to be determined if she should still have her rank in the new republic because they don’t believe her when she says Thrawn is returning….wow I don’t care….

BTW here’s the teaser for this coming episode that introduces Thrawn

So anyways the Eye of Sion makes it to outside of the already established galaxy so yes once again things are convaludicated, we now have a new entire galaxy area that exists outside of the already established Star Wars timeline? I swear this seems like it’s only here so Dave Filoni can ignore the sequel trilogy…which I don’t blame him because that trilogy was a mess….but I still don’t like this outcome he’s doing either so I hate all of it….

So Sabine gets locked up in a cell because wow really Sabine? U thought Baylan was fully gonna agree on his agreement? I mean he does but he doesn’t either u will see what I mean…..btw time to bring up another issue I have with this show…it’s that the show is what 2 episodes away from being done and we still don’t know what Baylans motivation is and Shin is just a blank piece of slate we barley know anything about her besides that she follows her masters orders….like I keep saying oh this is just oh so good writing right?

So anyways they get to the planet where they land on some black pillar with these stone hinges…..there’s these 3 Nightsisters called the Great Mother’s…they are wearing red robes and have white face makeup on them….also they have red hooded head pieces….anyways they sense that Sabine is a jedi they says she reeks of it she’s dangerous…..right she’s dangerous? She’s handcuffed also why can’t they sense that Baylan and Shin are force users as well? I mean they’ve not met these 2 before so for all they know them 2 are also dangerous….but nah instead Sabine is dangerous, sighhhh, so they put these 3 laser balls around her to hold her…take her down to the cells….

Then this Star Destroyer with broken parts replaced with golden pieces and some sorta design at the bottom of the ship…shows up over there heads and Lands right in front of the pillar allowing a bridge to come out so whoever is on board can walk to meet them…..btw we see this row of damaged stormtroopers that have cracks all over with some gold in there cracks, red bandages wrapped around them…..wow those 10 years must have been hell for them then they start chanting Thrawn, Thrawn, Thrawn, Thrawn….then Thrawn starts walking up to our main baddies with his hands behind his back….

Then we get to see his right hand man named Enoch, he’s a stormtrooper with a Roman type goldan mask and dark red samurai type skirt…..btw did I forget to mention that Dave Filoni heavily and I do mean heavily like to the point It’s straight in the nose, based this show on Japan and samurais….yes I know Star Wars has always been inspired by that but it was never to on the nose about it to the point where Thrawns ship and troopers have cracks in them replaced with gold which is a method in Japan they use to fix cracks in like pottery….and the fact one of the stormtroopers looks like a samurai it’s like ok Disney and Mr. Filoni do u not know what the word subtle means? Because yall need to be more subtle…

Also heres the clip

So we finally get to see Thrawn…..was he executed correctly? Does he look accurate? Unfortunately nope instead he looks like Blue Skinned Elon Musk…no I wish that I was kidding, I don’t think what helps is that they made him little chubby and he looks like he has receiving hair lines…similar to Mr. Musk, heck the chubby belly really makes him look like Musk, and no before anyone Says well maybe the actor is chubby actually he isnt… in fact he’s skinny…so this design was a creative decision by the director, awesome 😑…see here’s a back to back image of him in Rebels and in this show….see he wasn’t translated over well…he looks like Blue Skinned Elon Musk

The only good thing I can say is that they brought back the voice actor who voiced him in Rebels to play his live-action counterpart…..the actor is Lars Mikkelsen yes as in Madds Mikkelsen’s brother…..Lars Mikkelsen was the bad guy in the last season of that British show Sherlock btw….yes he is a good actor I ain’t here to insult the actor, him just like Madds Mikkelsen are great actor I just don’t think most of the time they’re given enough to meet their dull potential…especially here

Anyways the Great Mothers tell him they brought a prisoner which Elon Musk oh wait sorry I meant Thrawn said u didn’t tell me about this……then they said these 2 mercenaries brought the prisoner….then he goes and asks who he is? Baylan tells him his name then Thrawn says u must be Baylan the Jedi….he says I left the Jedi order long ago, which Thrawn says You wouldn’t be the first to do so….which is probably hinting that he knew Anakin became Vader….

Anyways he tells Thrawn the prisoner is someone Thrawn knows its Sabine and he says now that name I recognize….so then Thrawn has a conversation with Sabine, he tells her he’s gonna fulfill Baylans promise to her, so he let’s her go, take her weapons ans a dog to ride to go find Ezra….why u may ask? Because uhhhhhhhhhhh, she helped him out somehow?

Anyways she heads out, Enoch wishes Sabine a honorable death…..whatever that means, anyways she heads out and then Thrawn sends Baylan and Shin to go aftar her and if she finds Ezra Bridger…..to kill both of them, which Shin says I thought u were to fulfill ur up of the promise? Which Thrawn says I did, I let her go and find Ezra…as promised, ahhh well this brings me back to a moment in Harry Potter….to quote GripHook “I said I would get u in, I didn’t say anything about getting u out”…..yeah it’s one of those moments….clever Thrawn ur clever,

anyway Sabine stumbles upon some raiders who she defeats then she locates a small rock alien shell creature…..he notices a symbol on her armor and takes her somewhere…..Anyways Baylan and Shin are following they notice the dead raiders…..Baylan talks about how on this planet he feels some massive power, now what is this massive power? Unfortunately this messy script doesn’t explain anything else about it…but Shin wants to leave the planet because she notes that since the others wanna leave what if we should leave as well and Baylan is like nah nah power here I wanna use…

Also, she does ask him if he misses the Jedi order which he says I miss the idea of them not the hypocrisy and politics of them…yada yada

Anyways Sabine gets taken to this small trailer-like village where guess who’s there? Ezra……also heres an image of him side by side him in Rebels to this show

sighhh ok ok rant time major rant time inbound warning warning warning

So firstly firstly so I know I’m getting ahead of myself but in the next episode Thrawn asks the Great Mother’s to track exactly where Ahsoka is and keep in mind she’s not even landed on the planet yet she’s still in the planets atmosphere, and guess what? The Great Mothers do locate exactly where she is….so ummm okay pray tell me fans who think this show has great writing so if the Great Mothers could locate where Ahsoka is in the atmosphere over the planet….then uhh why hasn’t Thrawn ever considered to idk um ask them to locate were Ezra is using there same magic abilities? He’s only had idk what a freaking decade!!

Also also heres another thing that erks me about this script, so uhhh Ezra is hiding out what several hours away from Thrawns working flying ship, yet he hasn’t been able to locate him in the last past decade!!? Ohhh this shows writing is amazing, best show since Game Of of Thrones, this show is way better then Andor, hey this show has fan service so that must mean it’s amazing…..hahahahahaha sighh yall who say this show is great are a bunch of idiots…..

Oh ohh another thing that also erks me, so if Thrawn has a working ship why doesn’t he uhhh go fly out of this planet and go search for a space whale and force one to fly him out of this galaxy? Now before yall say but u have to have the force to connect to the space whales…..Bitch plz he has 3 Nightsisters who’s powers pre date the force and the jedi, they can wield mystical powers including the force…..why not use them to use there powers to force a space whale to teleport them back home then huh?

Also furthermore just to add more to this already broken messy script, how’s it Thrawns ship perfectly working and still have fuel? Didn’t know Nightsisters powers include giving fuel…heck I doubt they’ve got fuel from this planet from the looks of this planet it looks like a vacant land of nothingness except for 1 or 2 species plus 1 species of animals but besides that nada…..so the hell they’re getting fuel from?

Omg Dave Filoni is such a great director, this shows script is amazing, best Star Wars show ever……heheheheheh hahahahah am I going crazy or are Star Wars fans going nuts

Also here’s a massive issue with this show plus with Disney Plus shows in general….they don’t know how to pace this show out well like at all, the fact this shows plot doesn’t really kick into until the 6th episode out of 8….yeah let that sink in…the 6th freaking episode, even with that we still don’t know what Baylans motivations are, we don’t know why Thrawn returning to the galaxy is gonna equal bad for our new republic when he literally has a half-assed fixed ship…bandaged up stormtroopers, a right hand man named Enoch who has been saying yes master for the last 2 episodes and 3 witches with magical balls….awesome oh yes republic ur in grave danger if Thrawn retruns…..he has 3 witches with balls, quiver in danger lololo

Also do I need to say this but I think Thrawn is represented as an idiot in this show, anything he does in the show is meh at best stupid at worst…..I mean he sends 10 men to go after The good guys and the men start getting killed off so he has them retreat, which he then for some reason considers this a win, somehow….also he does study ahsoka file and recognizes who her master is…..he reads that her master was Anakin Skywalker, who he instantly recognized…yeah he knows he was Vader….

Anyways so in the final episode named the Jedi The Witches and The Warlords……really? Just really? Hmmm I wonder what this episode title is ripping off of….hmmmmm, anyways in this episode Ezra builds a new lightsaber u know after saying last episode he doesn’t need one, sighhhh….also Morgan Elsbeth becomes a Nightsister…she gets new makeup around her face and is given a sword, wow so she was given a glorified makeover and a metal stick….awesome lolo, so they head to Thrawn to stop him….

So they get to his ship, they go inside the tower where they fight stormtroopers then all a sudden the zombies reanimate so there zombies ohhhh first-time zombies in star wars shows and films….ohhh I don’t care, anyways they make it to Morgan Elsbeth who’s stayed behind to stop them, so Ahsoka fights against her then Sabine joins the fight…..Ezra jumps onto the star destroyer, to sneak on board…..the ship is about ready to leave it is now connected to the Eye of Sion….so the ship starts flying to orbit, then Sabine uses the force to push Morgan Elsbeth off the platform…

Then they get into there ship they go after Thrawn but they get to him and he calls them up and basically says we never met but I wish we did but now we may never…..then his final words are long live the empire, then his ship goes into warp speed….leaving Ahsoka behind and Sabine….anyways the show ends with Ezra sneaking onto the Rebels ship wearing a stormtrooper armor he enters on the ship and reveals himself…..Syndulla looks happy to see him so does Chopper, Ahsoka and Sabine ar left behind on the planet also Shin now wants to lead the rsvingers and Baylan well who the hell knows what he wants but he’s standing on a statue that’s pointing at a mountain…

Anyway the freaking end dear lord this show was abysmal the acting was so dull what was Dave Filoni thinking? They made Thrawn as smart as Elon Musk basically….also I think worse thing is that this show is supposed to set up a movie he’s making….I don’t care honestly, also the only thing that I liked about this show was Baylan….to bad his motives are vague and we don’t get an answer to what he wants….we may never now because the actor Ray Stevenson passed away…..it seems they wanted to use him for a season 2…that will be hard now unless they recast him which I hope they dont….also at this point I don’t want Dave Filoni to be running star wars especially since this show basically just proves he can’t make something competent in live action, hes better doing animation star wars shows…..he should just stick to that instead of live action shows and films….

Overall uhhhhh 3/10 skip it