Spongebob Squarepants TV show:

So if yall are wondering, Jarrod why are u reviewing Spongebob Squarepants? And why? Well to answer your question….and it is simple, the answer is that this is a nostalgia trip, I’ve already done it for Power Rangers now I am gonna review Spongebob Squarepants…..besides I have Spongebob Squarepants video game reviews already so why not the show……also here’s the opening theme song, we all know it we love it but I just thought I’d put it here so people can listen to the nostalgic song….

Yall are welcome now good luck getting that out of ur heads…..anyways so this review is just mainly going to be my quick thoughts on the original few seasons and a bit on the newer seasons plus I’ll describe some of my favorite episodes, describe 1 or 2 of my least favorite and show yall clips from the show I still love rewatching…..

So we already know about the show, one of nickelodeons best shows to exist to date, a show about cartoon Sponge living in a pineapple under the sea…..living near his friends Squidward and Patrick…… Squidward lives in a tiki house and Patrick lives under a rock…..also Spongebob Squarepants and Squidward work at the Krusty Krab which is a restaurant that makes the famous Krabby Patties, also the person in charge is Mr. Krabs…..whos a greedy crab who only cares about money…..also he has a daughter named Pearl, who btw is a whale……yeah and no I don’t know the logistics of that…..a crab has a whale as a daughter? Huh, gotta wonder who did he marry?….also we got Spongebob Squarepant’s other friend named Sandy Sheeks, ok im now just realizing how they snuck in adult jokes…..I mean come on Sandy Sheeks? Anyways she’s a squirrel who must wear a suit to survive underwater also she lives in a house tree dome…..to prevent water from coming in….

Also if any of yall thought that name is inappropriate well then let me introduce u to the town name the main characters live in…..the town is called the Bikini Bottom, wow just wow very subtle there fellas?….

Also, let me give a rundown of each character

Spongebob Squarepants (the main character who’s so wholesome, always happy, and very generous but can be annoying, also just like Sandy he loves doing Karate, they both Karate fight each other…..he has a pair of red gloves and Headwear, and Sandy has a pair of green gloves and Headwear)

Patrick (Spongebob Squarepant’s best friend who is a very good friend to him, but he is also extremely dumb, and unfortunately in a lot of episodes he’s a complete douchebag and egotistical as well it makes u wonder why they’re still friends)

Squidward (the next-door neighbor who works at the same job Spongebob does, also Spongebob thinks Squidward is his best friend but in reality, Squidward hates Spongebobs guts like a lot, to the point where he always screams and gets mad at nothing Patrick and Spongebob….funny thing we as kids always sided with Spongebob Squarepants we also said ok Squidward that’s not cool of u to treat him like that, however when u become older like when ur a teen or an adult and u watch the show u come to realize oh yeah no sorry what was I thinking I think we sympathize with Squidward now we understand, Spongebob can be annoying lolo, but the issue is too many times Squidward is just a complete douchebag and I mean a complete and utter douchebag to Spongebob, he treats him so bad to a point I ask why the heck does Spongebob Squarepants still consider him his best friend)

Sandy Sheeks (Spongebobs second best friend, who btw I always thought she was a way better friend than Patrick Star because she’s so generous to Spongebob, also she’s a scientist….she does scientific stuff which revolves around making scientifical breakthroughs, also she loves doing Karate)

Plankton (Mr. Krabs’ long and only rival who owns a restaurant called the chum bucket, btw his business sucks, he doesn’t get any customers because they don’t like chum….to be honest, he cooks awfully as well, so he always tries to steal the Krabby Patty formula…..let me just say I’m getting sick and tired of him, it’s always the same thing….he wants the formula he tries getting it and fails, same cycle happens each time he’s in an episode, sighhh….also he’s married to a computer, yeah don’t try to think about that logic either, btw there are episodes where we get to see a different side of plankton….what I mean by that is episodes where he legitimately cares about his wife, I wish we’d get more of that but nope instead we just gotta have the same formulaic shite between him and Krabs)

Mr. Krabs (honestly there’s not much to say about him except I hate Mr. Krabs because there’s just to many episodes where he’s being a complete money hungry douchebag, heck there’s an episode where he sets a new policy where all his customers have to spend every single one of there money there and then before they leave, how charming……also there’s an episode where he doesn’t give his employees there checks, no instead he gives Squidward a bill of money he owes Mr Krabs for get this, for breathing, for existing, for standing….huh so really the only thing he does then? Also really for breathing? Seriously? What do u want him to do exactly? Once again how charming, but the most abysmal thing to me he’s done is in a episode where Gary the snail Swallows a magnet and Spongebob shows Mr Krabs that Gary can attract metal to him so of course Mr Krabs sends Spongebob Squarepants off to do random things while he takes advantage of Gary to use him as a metal finder to attract coins to him…..oh it gets worse this is physically hurting Gary but Mr Krabs doesn’t care, no instead all he cares about is getting money….jeepers what an awful character)

…so anyways I now wanna explain some of my favorite episodes and then tell u what I don’t like about this show anymore…

My first favorite episode is titled “The Graveyard Shift” I bet a lot of yall remember this episode, if not well let’s give yall a rundown….. in this episode Mr. Krabs has the oh-so-brilliant idea of keeping the Krusty Krab open for all night, so he makes his 2 employees stay there to serve food while he goes home because he has a life he says…..wow and they don’t? Such a great boss huh? So anyways without a shocker, of course, they’re stuck there all night and barely anyone has come in except for maybe just a small handful of people but that’s it…..because let’s be honest who’s gonna go out to a burger joint at 3 in the morning? So anyways Squidward asks Spongebob to take the trash out, but Spongebob is kinda scared of the dark so this gives Squidward the idea to scare Spongebob when he returns inside…..which leads him to telling him the famous story about the Hash-Slinging Slasher……btw here’s how that scene goes out enjoy…

Squidward: u mean u never heard the story of the, Hash-Slinging Slasher

Spongebob: The Slash-Bringing Hasher?

Squidward: The Hash-Slinging Slasher

Spongebob: The Sash-Wringing, The Trash-Singing Mash-Flinging, The Mash-Springing Flinging The the Crash Dinging uhh

Squidward: yes the Hash-Slinging Slasher, but most people just call him the Ha (Gasps) because that’s all they have time to say before he gets ya

Spongebob: (Gasps) tell me the story

Squidward: years ago in this very restaurant the Hash-Slinging Slasher use to be a fry cook, just like u…only clumsier, and then one night as he was cutting the Patties it happend

Spongebob: he forgot the secret sauce?

Squidward: no

Spongebob: he forgot to wash his hands?

Squidward: no

Spongebob: irregular portions?

Squidward: noo! He cut of his own hand by mistake

Spongebob: u mean like this (proceeds to tear arm off) or like this (proceeds to tear arm off) or this or this (proceeds to tear arm off) or this?

Squidward: except he wasn’t a Sponge

Spongebob: So?

Squidward: So it didn’t grow back!!

Spongebob: ohh noo!

Squidward: Then he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula, and then he got hit by a bus, and then at his funeral they fired him….so now every what day is it?

Spongebob: Tuesday

Squidward: Tuesday night his ghost returns to the Krusty Krab to wreak his horrible Vengeance

Spongebob: (Gasps) but Tonight is Tuesday night

Squidward: then he’ll be coming

Spongebob: how will we know?

Squidward: there’s 3 signs to signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher, first the light will flicker on and off then-

Customer: dude can I have some ketchup?

Squidward: Oh here u go, then the phone will ring and there be nobody there and finally the Hash-Slinging Slasher will arrive from the ghost of the bus that ran him over, then he exists the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways because he’s already dead! Then he taps on the window with his Grizzly spatula hand

Spongebob: no!

Squidward: he opens the door (squeaks) he slowly approaches the counter…..then u wanna know what he does next

Spongebob: what?

Squidward: u really wanna know?

Spongebob: what?

Squidward: u really really sure u wanna know?

Spongebob: what tell what does he do!!?

Squidward: he gets you!!

Yeah if yall couldn’t tell Squidward was having to much fun there with trying to scare Spongebob so of course Spongebob gets horrified so Squidward tells Spongebob it was all a joke……..but later that night the most coincidental things happens…..the lights start flickering on and off uh oh then the phone rings which Squidward answers but no one answers…..dun dun dunnn……then a random bus comes from nowhere which then a guy who looks small and has red glowing eyes lists his hand up revealing a spatula for a hand……ahhhhhhhh……..btw I love this piece of dialog between Spongebob and Squidward

Squidward: now u understand, where doomed

Spongebob: no that’s not it, I’m just so touched that u would go to the trouble and dress up like a ghostly fry cook then go stand on the other side of the street just to entertain me, u must really like me

Squidward: Spongebob there’s 2 problems with ur theories, 1. I hate u and 2. How can that be me if I’m standing right here

Both them: Ahhhhhhhhhh!! The Hash-Slinging Slasher!!!

So as soon as the ghost walks up to them it comes out of the shadows revealing it’s just a ransom dude who has a job application and wants to work there he said he hung up early because he was nervous…..oh ok that makes sense but then Squidward says wait if that was u on the phone and u on the bus then who was flickering the lights?….which then the lights starts flickering and we cut over to the corner where we see and I wish I was kidding when I say this….Norsferato flicking the lights on and off and the 3 of them say Nosferatu….with a tone like Oh silly u…….also pray tell what kid and parent is gonna understand this Nosferatu joke? Seriously who? That horror film came out in the mid-1800s, so who in the early 2000s is gonna understand a Nosferatu joke? Who’s the joke made for!!?

BTW here’s a montage of the times Count Orlock appears in Spongebob, I hate they call him Nosferatu because his name isn’t Nosferatu! Also the gag was funny the first time….many times later it’s no longer funny!

Ok I hate that they reused that gag from Graveyard Shift, that’s what I call dispersion….in case some y’all don’t know what I’m talking about, at the end of Graveyard Shift Squidward says to Spongebob and this guy who enters the Krusty Krab because he wanted to come get a job there….

Squidward says “wait if that was u on the phone and u on the bus, then who was flickering the lignts?” Then they look over to the corner and see Nosferatu (even though that’s not his name it’s Count Orlock) flicking thr lights on and off…they all say Nosferatu (with a straight face)..

In this modern day Spongebob episode titled I kid u nor SquidFeratu….get it? Spongebob and Squidward go visit Nosferatu (Count Orlock) at his castle to return him his mail tbe mailmen been sending to Squidward on accident…

By the end of the episode the 4 of them (Nosferatu has a butler in this episode) are laughing then the lights start flickering…so Squidward says “wait if ur not flickering the lights, then who is?” They all tremble in fear including Count Orlock for some reason…

Then they look at the corner and see this cartoonish caricature of Phantom of The Opera flicking the lights…they all look at him and say in a relaxed tone Phantom of The Opera…

Again really? We’re gonna reuse the same gag really? Also, why’s Phantom of The Opera in Nosferatu (Count Orlock) castle? Are the scriptwriters just getting lazy? This show has become lazy and that’s bad because I used to love this show….now it’s made for people who are ages Dead to zero and TikTokers..Anyways moving on let’s continue talking about the good episodes in the early seasons.

Also to give a quick example of another favorite of my episodes there’s the Christmas special where for the first time ever Spongebob learns from Sandy about Christmas, he’s never heard of Christmas before…..weird right? But keep in mind there sea creatures under the sea so how would they have heard about Christmas? So anyways so afterwards Spongebob goes and tells everyone and I do mean everyone, including his friends…….anyways so Spongebob tells everyone to write there lists to Santa which then he will put in his machine he made to send the notes in bottles up the sea bed……..oh btw this special has my favorite song from Spongebob here’s the clip

Lalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalaalallaalla

Anyways Santa doesn’t come so Squidward rubs it in Spongebobs face, but he learns the true meaning of Christmas that well Spongebob was just trying to spread joy so he decides to dress as Santa to please Spongebob then he starts giving away all his property to random people lolo…..also I wanna quickly mention another episode I really like before I get into my negatives with this series…..so in this specific episode both Spongebob and Patrick are camping outside in there backyard where Squidward thinks there camping in the forest because that makes sense…..and Squidward ends up joining them just because…….they then have some marshmallows because it’s appropriate to also Squidward tries to go inside to get a can of meatballs but they tell him that’s not the camping spirit……then after that they sing a camp fire song while Squidward is sitting there annoyed….but then he pulls his clarinet out and tries to sing but Spongebob lodges a marshmallow in his throat telling him that was dangerous what he did because it could attract a sea bear….btw I love this clip and the dialog I’m about to show yall

Squidward: Oh sea bears u mean the ones that don’t exist!!

Spongebob: what u mean?

Squidward: sea bears aren’t real its a myth

Spongebob: oh no Squidward sea bears are all to real it says so in the bikini bottom inquirer

Squidward: “I married a sea bear?”

Patrick: yeah and fake science monthly

Squidward: “sea bears and fairy tales are real?” That’s the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!!

Patrick: well it might be stupid but it’s also dumb

Spongebob: Patrick is right, sea bears are no laughing matter in fact I once knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy

Lololo firstly the words Patrick and is right should never go together……so anyways also heres a Playlist I created of my favorite Spongebob Squarepants moments enjoy

BTW here’s another one of my favorite songs from the early Spongebob Squarepants series….it’s called ripped my pants

In this episode Spongebob Squarepants rips his pants by accident then he gets the idea to try to impress everyone at the beach by ripping his pants….even his friend Sandy….but he eventually goes a little to overboard by pretending to drown in the ocean and being saved by a lifeguard, just so he can rip his pants in front of him….so everyone leaves Spongebob behind, then Spongebob meets a washed up whale, a woman who got massive sunburns and a guy who got sand in his burger buns, they then come up with a song together cal

I now wanna talk about when I decided to stop watching….it was after the first Spongebob Squarepants movie because the producer said he wants to end Spongebob there….but due to the success and greediness of Nickelodeon they said oh u can go but Spongebob is staying with us……so he stayed just because and u can tell he started losing his passion…..but this isn’t where I quit its when he passed away back I 2017….because before he died he told Nickelodeon multiple times to never create spinoff anything relating to Spongebob and they said alright we won’t…..and when he died they said ok now we are….Jesus that’s just shitty and gross, Nickelodeon is one of those companies I sometimes hate supporting……but I wanted to see how bad the modern episodes are like….

And yep its as bad as they all say….yeah ooof where do I begin well most of the humor is now aimed for ages 0 to dead basically……but there are a few highlights for instance there’s an episode where Patrick creates a board game yeah u heard that correctly Patrick makes up his own board game where he just randomly makes up his own rules as he goes and Squidward, Spongebob, and Sandy come to play this game….I love this episode because it’s actually funny because Squidward keeps getting himself in jail. After all, he keeps rolling on going into jail….lolo and of course, Patrick makes stupid rules…..such as u can’t get out of prison unless u role a 6 or someone calls ur name and if ur in prison u can’t role……yeah try making sense of that

Then the episode ends with Squidward actually going to real prison because they step outside and he breaks Patrick’s board out of anger…..lolo “somebody say my name!” “Game over”

Now I’m quickly gonna go over a few episodes I hate from this show

There’s an episode called the splinter where Spongebob Squarepants gets a splinter where then Patrick proceeds to dump garbage onto it which infects it, causes it too get big and dark green and purple….eww gross

There’s an episode where Spongebob brings home a new pet pal for Gary and this episode is infamous because this creature looks small and cute but when it gets put near other pets it grows huge and becomes varicose…….btw it tries to torment and eat Gary all while Spongebob is patronizing Gary……jeepers what an owner also seriously Spongebob can u not see ur best pal Gary is about to be eaten? Better yet can u now see he’s getting tormented?

There’s an episode where Patrick wants a Krabby Patty so he has Spongebob pay for it but then expects a toy to come with it…but they’re isn’t one so Mr Krabs makes a toy buy using a Krabby Patty and some straws which he gives to Patrick for some money, Spongebob pays for it on the condition of them sharing the toy but what ends up happening is Patrick becomes greedy and hogs the toy all day and all night….promising to give it Spongebob tomorrow but that day comes and he lies because he thinks it’s unfair for Spongebob to take a turn to play with the toy…..jeepers what a charmer….then he fights Spongebob for it then eats it so then Mr krabs makes them both 2 Toys then Patrick steals Spongebob wallet again and says did u not learn anything about charing…..Jesus Spongebob why do u hangout with this tyrant?

Then there’s the infamous episode where Spongebob proceeds to get into a car accident with Ms. Puff during his training, this accident causes the puff inside her to explode so now she can’t puff up…..so she wakes up in the hospital and comes up with the idea to get Spongebob into a car crashing show to murder him……yeah I wish that I was joking, Ms. Puff the kind-hearted, person who never gave up on Spongebob because I guess she cares to much……just all a sudden is planning to murder Spongebob……jeepers this came out of left field, so then she takes him to sign him up where he proceeds to accidentally win the car crashing show by doing things that causes the other cars to crash into each other so then Ms. Puff gets into a truck and chases him down trying to kill him…..ok seriously can this episode end already?

So overall I’m very mixed about Spongebob Squarepants because in its prime it was a great show now its a mediocre show with few bright spots but not many ….and now we have the Patrick Star show don’t ask why, a soon to be Sandy movie and oh yeah a prequel Spongebob series called Kamp Koral and that show breaks Canon……to often, so overall I’m gonna give this series a solid 5.2/10