Star Trek Into Darkness: before we get into it let’s start off with showing yall the trailers enjoy

Secondly I just wanna quickly mention so no one gets any ideas…..I enjoy these 4 trailers they are catchy but I absolutely hate this film truly one of my least favorite star trek films….and let me explain why which is why we are here today, so sit back and relax and read…. lets’s get started shall we?

So in this film, we start off with Kirk and his team on a peace mission, trying to make peace with some tribe on a planet but it goes all haywire when Kirk and McCoy land on the planet and then without knowing, steal something important the tribe looks up to which ends up causing in a chase……well talk about first impressions huh? I think u guys did a phenomenal job, huh, u guys will be best of pals I can see lolo

Anyway if ur wondering where the starship Enterprise is? It’s underwater? Wondering why it’s underwater? Because they have to stay hidden to prevent being noticed by the tribe on this planet, so while Kirk and McCoy jump back into the ship, Spock is being lowered into the volcano by Uhura and Sulu….if ur wondering why? Its because Spock needs to symbolize the volcano so it doesn’t erupt, anyways to summarize this scene, Spock’s cord gets broken so he may die uh oh, Kirk makes the decision to lift the Enterprise out of the water to go teleport Spock back on board but in doing so the tribe notices the ship so now they have a new God they warship…..uh oh

Which is a big uhh ohh because instead of Spock thanking Jim, he secretly goes behind his back and reports that Jim saved him but in doing so exposed the Enterprise to the tribe….to admiral Pike, well talk about a great friend huh? But before we get there we randomly see a random guy and his wife at the hospital being all sad because there daughter has cancer, now I bet ur wondering huh? Why? And how’s this important to the story? Well glad u ask because this scene introduces us to the main baddie named John Harris, when the father steps outside to get some air he steps out of nowhere and says ur daughter I can save her……btw guess who’s playing thr villain? That’s right it’s Benedict Cumberbatch, I’ll explain later why I don’t like him as the villian btw here’s the clip

“Ur daughter I can save her” “who are u?”…….which he just stands there silently without answering who he is….honestly if I was that father I’d be like no seriously who are u? Lolo anyways so next day Kirk and Spock gets called into Pike’s office, let me summarize up the next few important scenes, Pike fires Kirk from role of captain uh oh, Enterprise has now been given back to Pike….wonder how long this will last lolo, also we get to see Harris plan, he takes a sample of his blood which he sends it to the father dude…he gives it to his daughter which she heals up right away but there’s a catch for u see now he has to sacrifice himself when he goes into his work….so he heads downtown to his job, gets into his department where he takes a glass of water, drops a small pill Harrison gave him which causes a giant explosion to happen uh oh….also Kirk that night is at a bar which he tries to hit on a girl but Pike comes sitting in between both of them, huh what a charmer aren’t I right? Doesn’t he just look gorgeous? Lolo

He tells Kirk that it took some convincing to admiral Marcus but Kirk’s now Pikes second in command while Spock’s being transferred, that night there’s a meeting going on about the explosion that happen so Kirk and Pike shows up even Spock, Kirk explains to Spock how he’s hurt because where he comes from if u save a friend u don’t go stab them In the back, yeah he ain’t wrong….he then says to Spock I’m gonna miss u but Spock well being Spock he just stands there silently not knowing what to say so Kirk walks off with a scoff….anyways we get to see who plays admiral Marcus it’s get this Peter Weller…..that’s right robocop himself is playing this admiral dude…..jeepers wonder how much money they offered him to be in this film? Anyways he explains the explosion how the guy who organized it is named John Harrison and he use to be star fleets best man but now is a fugitive..

As soon as Marcus mentions that Kirk looks at the crime scene on the computer and winders wait hold up why is Harrison still here on this planet? Wouldn’t he have left already which he says to Pike silently but Marcus hears him talk so he says if u have something say it now….which Kirk asks isn’t weird that Harrison would still be on this planet why hasn’t he left yet? As soon as he says that a shuttle comes up to thr window and starts firing inside on them uh oh…..anyways here’s the clip

As yall can see everyone is crawling away, while Pike hets shot uh oh, which Spock drags him aside to protect him while Kirk being the smart guy he is finds whatever unconventional way to stop this Occasion….so he comes up with the brilliant idea of tuing the end of a fire extinguisher rope to a gun and toss it into the engine of the shuttle which works so thr ship is not crashing and Kirk gets a glimpse of John Harrison telporting away……dangit, anyways Pike dies and I don’t think he had any final words no instead Spock uses his Vulcan mind read and reads Pikes mind, anyways Kirk shows up but it’s to late Pikes dead the damage is done here’s the clip

So now with Pike dead and Jim wanting revenge which is understandable he now wants to know where Harrison went to….luckily next day Scotty calls both him and Spock to meet him at the crash because he found out where Harrison went turns out he used a Teleportation device to transport to the one planet star fleet can’t go to and it’s the Klingon home planet called Kronos…..dun dun dunnnn, so they go and tell Marcus that Harrison isn’t on earth but he’s on Kronos….so he asks if he can be Reinstated as captain reinstated as captain reinstated as captain of the USS Enterprise and Spock be reinstated as his first officicer which Marcus agrees to both…..but shortly after he says he doesn’t want Kirk to get injured or die, the blood of Pikes death is on him….btw I do somewhat like this scene because Marcus is describing how a war with the Klingons is inevitable there coming there way ans while he’s saying that he looking at a row of model ships and the last ship we see him eyeballing is a new ship thats black and huge version of the USS Enterprise which does come up later in this film….huh subtle foreshadowing right there

So he tells Kirk that he’s been working on 72 new torpedoes that he has and he wants Kirk to go to Kronos, shoot the missiles down on the planet ending the life of Harrison…..so Kirk agrees, take a guess how well this goes for Scotty? He is refusing to sign the papers to allow the torpedoes to come on board because when he asks whata inside it they tell him it’s classified so he’s iffy about the torpedoes so he tells Jim I Quit do u accept my resignation….which Jim says yes, so him and his small pal named Keenser who’s a silent alien guy who I forgot to mention in my review of Star Trek 2009 whoopsie so they hand in there resignation and Scotty tells Jim……”Jim for the love of God, don’t fire those torpedoes” ohhhhhhhhh

So now since Scotty is gone Kirk goes and tells Chekov to put on a red shirt and now he’s the new engineer control guy….and I’m already hating this I’m not a fan of this, making Chekov the engineer and getting rid of Scotty….it’s never happened before…..oh btw Spock and Uhura are having relationship issues because she’s mad at Spock for well willingly without showing any emotions about leaving Uhura behind forever….to sacrifice himself on that volcano so yeah she’s mad at him for not shedding any form of emotion….hey Look I understand he’s basically a robot u r dating a robot lolo……

So the crew goes to Kronos, Kirk and Spock and Uhura get into a shuttle and fly down to apprehend Harrison….huh? I thought they had direct orders to shoot the torpedoes at him? Not apprehended him…..Kirk, what are u doing? So anyways they fly on down, the Klingons start chasing them, and they end up landing their ship, Uhura goes out there to speak Klingon to try to resolve the issue but it all escalates because the Klingons aren’t good people but then Harrison comes out of nowhere and starts shooting the Klingons, saving Kirk and his crew

So after Harrison saves them he asks Kirk how many torpedoes are on the ship, Spock says 72 so then Harrison surrenders….ok that’s strange, so they take him on board they place him in a cell then Kirk interrogates him asking him why did he surrender and why did he attack star fleet headquarters……also they take a sample of 6 blood which Is important for later…..anyways so his response is reason I surrendered to u is because u look like u have a Consciousness Mr Kirk, If u did not then it would be hard to convince u of the truth….23173611, coordinates are not that far from earth…..if u want to know why I did what I did, go and take a look…..which Kirk says give me one good reason I should trust u? Which Harrison says I’ll give u 72, they’ve been on ur ship captain they have been all along….I propose u open one up to take a look inside it……pssssttt he’s talking about the torpedoes

So anyways Kirk calls up Scotty who is at a bar getting drunk, he asks Scotty to go to the coordinates of 23173611 for him and I love Scotty’s response “Well if it isn’t James Tiberius Perfect Hair” lolo perfect hair….but Scotty does decide to go check the coordinates out…..anyways so Kirk and his group are discussing about who should open the torpedoes which Spock mentions that the admiral’s daughter has an interest in torpedoes and is a weapons specialist maybe she could help….which Kirk says what admirals daughter? Carol Marcus, ur new science officer who concealed her identity to come aboard……uhhhh which Kirk says when where u planning on telling me this and I just love Spock’s response, when it became relevant which it just did……lolo gotta love Spock huh

So Carol Marcus and McCoy go down on a planet with a torpedo to open it up. They do so, and guess what they find inside? A human frozen asleep in a Carbonite container……dun dun dumnn, oh btw Scotty goes to the location where he finds some construction site vehicle where he enters…..we don’t see what he ends up seeing but we see his expression of what the f**- so back on the ship Kirk and the others get told by McCoy 2 things about this body, 1. This technology is ancient, they haven’t had the need for cryogenic freezing since they came up with warp speed, how interesting and 2. This guy is 300 years old dun dun dun…..so Kirk goes and asks Harrison why there’s a body in that torpedo….and I’ll play out the scene here but this is officially where I started getting frustrated with this film…. “there’s men and woman in all those torpedoes I put them there, Marcus woke me up because he wanted to create advance weaponry….I myself was woken up, me alone”…..”I looked ur name up and John Harrison didn’t exist before a year ago”….”John Harrison was a fake name created to conceal my true identity, my name is Khan”

And this is where I officially where I jumped ship from this movie because firstly oh great now we’re ripping straight from that star trek episode space seed….the Marcus found my ship afloat and I was woken up alone, that’s straight out of star trek space seed where Kirk and his men found Khans ship floating in space and they woke him up only, wow very original JJ Abrams ur truly showing ur creativity….then now this brings me to the issue of Benedict Cumberbatch as the baddie, look no offense to the actor in fact I like the actor….to me he makes a perfect Doctor Strange, but Khan ehhh not so much…..reason I can see him as doctor strange is because he looks like Stevan Strange with the beard plus they put some gray In his hair and gave Jim a costume, so he immerses into the role but here nothing about his costume sticks out….it’s just a random black shirt, pants and boots plus his usual combed hair….so he really just looks like Benedict Cumberbatch playing Benedict Cumberbatch if he was slightly evil that’s how he comes off to me in this film….so uhhh he’s not my Khan…btw small thing but Khan says that Marcus wanted a war to happen between the star fleet and the Klingons, if his new ship got made and those torpedoes got made which he’d plan to fire them down on the home world of Kronos, he’d have the war he drempt about….uh huh So Marcus is looney, but do we believe him yet?

So I’m gonna summarize up the next few scenes, so a ship comes out of orbit, and guess what it’s a giant black ship and guess who’s piloting it? It’s admiral Marcus piloting the ship, huh So what Khan said was true……because think of it why else would Marcus show up? Not like they contacted him or knew that Kirk’s ship was having technical issues….or did he? Hmmmm, anyways he tells Kirk to lower thr shields and teleport Khan onto his ship……but instead Kirk has his crew fo into warp speed which btw I love this scene…..so now the crew thinks there safe but Khan says to McCoy u think u guys are safe in warp? Think again so then Carol Marcus runs up to the bridge to warn the captain that her father has been working on a ship that can catch up with any ships in warp speed uhhh ohhh btw here’s the clip

Which Kirk says we’re at warp, but Carol says he can catch up he’s worked on a ship that has advanced warped technology……then Sulu says captain I’m getting a reading I don’t understand which then we see right behind the enterprise which keep in mind is in warp speed, we see admiral Marcus ship comes catching up right behind the USS Enterprise, btw Marcus ship is called the Vengeance, hmmm proper name also Jesus the ship can catch up with a ship in warp….plus the ship is like 10 times bigger then the USS Enterprise so it overshadows the Enterprise plus the eerie screeching noise u hear the Vengeance ship make in this scene is taunting……so the ship shoots the Enterprise which causes people to start flying out of the ship yikes

Anyway Carol Marcus tries contacting her father to get him to stop after he just knocked the Enterprise out of warp, she says ur really gonna kill innocent people including ur daughter? Which he says no I am not then he just teleports her off there ship onto his uh oh now he has nothing in his way to stop him from killing Kirk….wow admiral Marcus is a douchebag and such a great father huh?…..Kirk says take me instead but leave my crew out of this which is heroic, unfortunately Marcus is nuts so he says if it’s any Consolation I was never gonna spare ur crew……wow can’t wait till he dies, so as soon as he’s about to fire at the Enterprise guess what Marcus guns go down because guess who turns them off….Scotty, yessssss yessss thank u Scotty yeah he snuck onto the admiral’s ship, also Kirk comes up with a plan hes gonna partner up with Khan, if ur wondering why? Well it’s because Khan knows about the ship, and he could use him to help him get on board….so uhh the enemy of my enemy is my friend which btw I’ve never understood what that means

So he makes a deal with Khan to help him in doing so he says he will make sure the safety of Khans men….which I love Khans response, Kirk how can u promise the protection of my crew if u can’t even promise the protection of ur own…..he’s not wrong, byw keep this in mind for later but McCoy says the little creature they have on board called the Tribble is dead…..and he’s injecting Khans blood in it because Khans blood can regenerate and he wants to know why his blood can do that……ohhhhhh……anyways if ur wondering how Kirk and Khan are gonna get on board? Well they both contact Scotty to tell them there both gonna angle the Enterprise so where Khan and Kirk can jump through space and into Marcus ship which btw is dangerous as all hell if u don’t know how? Well let put it simply this way, 1. Scotty has to open the hatch way that leads outside into space that well is space and has no air and will suck u out and kill u….so uh oh there’s that and 2. When Scotty gets to the hatch he sees the door is like 4 kilometers big so uh basically 2 people can’t go through at same time instead one person would have to be right behind the person and go in the hatch separately very fast though but that means the hatch will have to stay open longer then planned which also means gonna be hard for Scotty to hold onto something and stay held to that…..btw here’s the cool jump scene

So anyways so there getting close to the ship but Scotty gets caught by a security guard so Scotty opens up the hatch, sending the guard flying out and both Kirk and Khan land inside…..so they all three head towards the command deck to apprehend Marcus btw while that’s happening Carol Marcus goes up to the bridge and slaps her dad, ooooofff then says I am ashamed to be ur daughter…….yeah no kidding he’s a douchebag…..also Spock contacts ambassador Spock……which he asks in ur travels have u ever encountered a man named Khan? And ambassador Spock reaction is u know that I promised to never tell u anything that would alter ur future, ur path is to walk and walk on ur own….that being said Khan Noonien-Singh is the most ruthless person the enterprise has ever encountered, he won’t hesitate to kill u and any of ur men……….did u stop him? Yes as great cost though…….ehhhh get it there referencing Wrath of Khan this makes the film great huh?

So anyways Kirk and Khan and Scotty make it up to the bridge they stun all of Marcus men then Kirk has Scotty shoot Khan to knock him out ooofff……also Kirk tells Marcus to get out of his seat which basically Marcus replies with u better stop and think what ur doing son, war between us and thr Klingons are gonna happen and who’s gonna lead us? U!!!?, if I’m not in charge our entire civilization is desecrated….so If u want me off this ship u better kill me….but Kirk just offers an alternative i can stun ur ass and drag u out of that seat…..btw fair warning next scene is gonna be pretty intense for alot of people so If any of yall don’t want to hear it or see it u can leave now….ok anyways to anyone who’s still around here’s the clip and here what goes on

So Khan wakes up knocks Scotty out then jumps onto Kirk pucnhing him until his knocked to the ground, then he sternly walks over to Marcus but Carol gets in the way trying to stop him by saying wait but Khan just shoves her onto the floor then unnecessarily stomps his foot onto her leg breaking it oooofff yes we do hear the bones breaking noise and her screaming yikes, then he goes over to Marcus grabs his head with both his hands then starts squeezing his head while saying “u, u should have let me sleep!!” Then he just continues squashing his head until we hear the skull break into pieces jeepers yeah he just broke open a guys head like breaking open a watermelon……btw we don’t see it because if we did well it be over pg-13 probably R rated, but what we do see besides hearing Marcus skull breaking open but we see Carol Marcus screaming in fright and Kirk slowly lifting his head up with a shocked expression like what the f**k? Kinda expression….yeah I sometimes feel like what we don’t see and left up to us to imagine is more scary…..

BTW this is the perfect time to bring up the slight issue of Admiral Marcus plan was stupid…..think of it, wake up a 300 year old man who keep in mind would know wayyyyy different technology to wake up in the modern day to build him advanced technology…..say what now? That’s so stupid, he wouldn’t know what modern technology is….it’s basically the equivalent if someone woke up Al Capone and told him to build them a iPhone, yeah he’d be confused and probably think ur speaking sorcery

So anyways Khan contacts Spock he tells him to give him his crew back or else he will kill the captain and then kill Spock and the ship, then Khan will walk over their cold corpses to go retrieve his men because unlike Spock and his men…Khan’s people don’t require oxygen as he says….huh? So Spock says lower the shields and he allows Khan to teleport the torpedoes onto his ship he says the torpedoes are urs….so then Kirk and his team gets telported back on the ship because and I quote from Khan no ship should go down without her captain…..dun dun dunnnnn

So then back on the ship they take Carol Marcus to the medical room but on the way there the torpedoes on Khans ship explodes……”nooooooooo Khan says”…..wait hold up did Spock just kill Khans people? Nope turns out he told McCoy to take the cryotubes out of the torpedoes ok thank the lord anyways here’s the clip

So guess what happens afterwards? The Enterprise starts falling out of orbit uh oh it’s damaged so Kirk and Scotty are trying to run to the electric room to fix the enterprise……so on a long tedious way down there because the ship tilting upside down and all that which means our 2 men have to start running on the side of the wall or roof, yikes everything is going to shite…..so Kirk and Scotty get down to the electric room where Scotty says “the ships dead sir….its gone” then Kirk says “no it’s not” any ways Kirk tries entering the energy core which btw has tons of radiation in it so Kirk would die before he makes the climb so he says to Scotty u r not making the climb then he punches him unconscious then sits him down to buckle him then he goes up into the radiation core to kick the giant core reactor back into place because it’s slightly tilted off balance anyways here’s the clip

Also heres the clip of Kirk’s death

So yeah u heard that right Kirk dies…..hmmmmm is this starting to sound familiar to yall? So Spock gets called to come down that it’s not good news so he runs downstairs where he sees Kirk inside the radiation tube where he asks Scotty to open the door but he says the decontamination process isn’t finished yet if u open it the whole ship will get flooded….the doors locked, uh oh so Spock just sits there chatting with Kirk while he’s dying……Kirk says do u see why I came back for u and Spock says because ur my friend…..well it took him this long to admit it hmmmmm, then Kirk puts his hand up at the glass which Spock does as well then Kirk dies and Spock yells out Khan!!!!!…..

Ok where do even begin with this I see JJ Abrams officially just decided too plagiarize Wrath of Khan…..seriously just wow, no remorse or care at all…….i mean JJ Abrams be like this overhere…..”ohhhhh noo don’t u see I’m totally original for u see in Wrath of Khan Spock sacrifices himself and dies but in my film Kirk sacrifices himself and dies….in Wrath of Khan Kirk yells out Khan!! In my movie, Spock yells out Khan!! See completely different”……fuck off JJ Abrams, ur a complete hack when it comes to writing, it’s more apparent in Star Wars the force awakens which btw he directed and wrote the script for…..jeepers ok where gearing close to the end So thank the lord so let’s get this out of the way

So Khan’s ship crashes in San Francisco destroying the island Alcatraz, how delightful……blah blah Khan jumps out of the ship which he basically jumps down 30 meters then slides all the way down jeepers if I was in that position I’d not jump because I’m horrified of heights, so then Spock asks if he can be teleported down there which he does…..Khan grabs a ransom black cloak which is a bit of an improvement over his bland outfit but that’s not saying much…..and a whh 5 min chase scene throughout the city happens between both of them, which does end up being a fight between both of them on flying cars jeepers…..btw while that’s happening while McCoy and the others are upset about Kirk dead and oh yeah seeing his dead body being placed in the medical room in a bag, as all hopes seem lost McCoy notices the dead creature from earlier he ejected Khan’s blood into is now healthy and alive ohhhhhh so he and Carol take one of the frozen men out of a capsule and keep him in a coma while they put Jim inside to keep his brain function still alive while McCoy tries to contact Spock to tell him to wait hold up don’t kill Khan, bring him back on board we need his blood it can save Kirk

But uh oh no communication is working there not getting a response so they teleport Uhura down there and she makes it in time because Spock is loosing about to get knocked out but Uhura starts shooting at Khan…..phaser is on stun btw but we see how strong Khan is he’s resisting stun shots….jeepers he is superhuman anyways Spock gets up knocks Khan on the ground and starts beating him up but Uhura stops him she says he’s the only one who can save Kirk so they knock him out and next scene we see Kirk waking up in a hospital room on earth……with McCoy checking his vitals to see if he’s healthy and not turning into a mass murderer lolo…..so yayyyy the blood worked….anyways the film ends with the federation putting Khan back in a cryotube and putting him and his men away locked away safe away from humanity……that was close oh and they throw a memorial for Christopher Pike, how generous…..

So then the film officially ends with Kirk and his crew about to take off on a 5-year space mission which McCoy complaining of course “5 years in space, God help me” lolo gotta love McCoy…..oh and Carol Marcus is now apart of the team or as Kirk puts it, part of the family….anyways the end ohhh boy yes I know this review was longer then usual but I had a massive rant I wanted to go on about because I hate this film in fact it proves to me that JJ Abrams doesn’t have an ounce of creativity when it comes to script writing….also dude lower down on the lense flares, u might make ur audience go blind one day from seeing ur films lolo….furthermore I’m upset this film rips off an already great Star Trek film the Wrath of Khan…..so overall I’ll give this film a solid 2/10