Death Note Netflix Film

Death Note Netflix Film:

Oh jeepers where do I even begin with this abysmal abysmal remake yeah that’s right it’s that bad……it’s quite abysmal…..anyways here’s the trailer, enjoy I guess? Also I wanted to mention can America plz just plz stop trying to adopt foreign films and American Americanize them? Because every time we do that the films come out abysmal…..heck apparently we’re making an American version of train to Busan and no idk why either, it’s dumb…..the fact America thinks they need to take a popular foreign show/film and make there own version of it just tells me they really do lack in creativity….so anyways uhhhhh

Yeah can we just get into this review So I never have to think about this film again….like ever again, I was doing so well forgetting this film….sighhh

So where do I begin with this film, well firstly this film just butchers everything that was great about the show is completely absent from this film, instead here we got a lifeless soulless remake of a beloved series

Heck u can tell this shoe is already fumbling around because the way Light gets the Death Note in this film is well he’s outside at school trading in someone’s homework to them he done for them…..because oohh I guess he’s just that smart, btw he’s name isn’t Light Yagami in this film no no its Light turner…..huh? Oh btw Misa is here as well except her name isn’t Misa Amane not it’s Mia Sutton…..huh?, in this film she’s a cheerleader teenage girl who smokes cigarettes and has issues and when I mean issues I mean she’s just depressed against the world basically…..oh how angsty jeepers what else can this film screw up? Oh wait alot, so the Death Note falls straight into lights hands, how convenient….then it starts raining so he runs inside but he runs into bullies who are picking on a female so he trys standing up to the bullies but he gets beaten up, then he gets sent to the principals office and gets detention…..huh? Yeah ur gonna see me saying huh? A lot, but seriously huh? I’m sorry what? Why is Light getting detention? Oh right because he did someone else’s homework for them….ok yes he should be punished for that but don’t punish him right after he got beaten up… heck u should punishing the bullies who beat him up….sigh

So once he gets into detention he opens the book up where sighhh everything in the room starts twirling around like a tornado and things falling down and if yall are wondering is Light Turner calm and manipulative and a sociopath like he was in the show? Nope instead here’s he’s a bitch, pathetic wimp who’s simping over Mia…..yeah let that sink in, so we see him screaming like a whimp, then we see Ryuk voiced by William Dafoe….I say we see him very loosely because every time wee see him he is hidden by shadows or the camera focuses out of frame on him….its like there ashamed by the affects in this film….so let’s skip a bit so uh btw this film is gory, he has Light test out the book and he decides to on the bully…..he writes in the book a truck will come shining on by with a ladder then the ladder will fall off and hit the bully in the head decapitating him…which we do get to see the bullies get being cut off in half ewww blood everywhere….yeah this film is very much more like final fantasy then it is Death Note, I mean the show was never gory…….it used killing people to the story, here it just feels like rhe director is saying hey yall look at us aren’t we so edgy? And look how much money we have….groaanss BTW there’s tons of cussing in this film, a lot of the F words…..because where so angsty huh? Groaaannn

BTW this brings me into another issue with this film so in this film the book has God damn to many rules I won’t list all of them because I’ve forgotten all of them but th main one I remember was….if ur gonna write someone’s name into the book u have to have them be killed off in a realistic matter, not in a science fiction type way….uh huh, pray tell what part of any of that bullies death scene sounded realistic ans plausible and not science fiction? So how did that work then? How was he able to kill the bully that way? Because all that sounded to convenient like something that wouldn’t always happen something out of science fiction…..jeepers script writers are yall keeping up with the roles u have set up in this film? Oh there’s one more rule I remember if u want to get rid of the death note all u have to do is erase ur name out of the book, leave it somewhere random for about 7 days let someone else find the book and have the burden be on them….if yall are wondering do the script writers keep up with that rule….noooopppee, buy I’ll get to that very shortly

So in this film lights mother been killed off instead he lives with his dad and his dad who’s name is James Turner btw that’s nowhere close to what his name is in the show….in the show his name is Soichiro Yagami….plz tell me how does Soichiro and James aound anywhere close to being the same? Anyways he lives with his dad alone that’s it……oh woe is me the main character has daddy issues because the mother is dead, jeez that’s been overdone…..oh btw L is in this film and here’s where I’m gonna go onto a massive rant because this is where the film pisses me off truly……so firstly in this film L is no longer pale no he’s played by a black person which there’s no Problem with that in my opinion but he’s supposed to be pale couldn’t yall have u know dusted on some white makeup on him to make him only slightly pale……because L is supposed to look like he’s never seen sunlight before but nope, here he looks like his skins all healthy and like he goes out and about all day….well I mean what else can they screw up? Well glad yall asked so he doesn’t even wear his iconic outfit no instead in this film he’s wearing a black hoodie, black face mask to cover the mouth and nose, black shirt and pants and boots, yeah does any of that sound even remotely like L to yall? Because to me he looks more like he just got off set of the movie Blade Runner…

Don’t worry this film gets worse, he has Watari go around giving cards to people such as James Turner….with his name Watari plastered right in front of the card 🤦 keep that in mind for later, also keep this in mind for later there’s one more rule I now just remembered if ur gonna put someone’s name into the book u have to put there full name into it….otherwise it won’t work meaning killing them off won’t work, keep that in mind for later……btw remember how in the show we had this complex cat and mouse chase between L and Light? Those where the good old days huh? Because that’s nowhere here to be seen…..instead L just down right approaches Light at a care which has 5 other people inside….where he down right straight tells Light oh I know ur Kirra I’m certain about it 🤦….ok hold hold it back it up back it up….stop, script writers, directors….thats not what L is supposed to be like, in the show he’d never down right straight tell Light he believes he’s Kirra, he’d ask alot questions relating to the Kirra case to help determine if Light is Kirra but he never down right told him nor would he ever say that straight to him in a public place….I’m sorry plus also just how do u know Light is Kirra? Because up until this point in the film u have just met Light! U haven’t met him before, u haven’t heard of him before….u just walked up to him and said oh yeah ur Kirra btw and also Light being the oh so smart guy he is just admits it he doesn’t hide it or ignore it no he Says darn how did u know 🤦….ok did the script writers give any F**ks when making this film? Furthermore this entire scene just collapses into its self once u sit down for 5 min and realize how much they screwed up Lights and L relationship….groaannnn

BTW it gets worse because L then proceeds to take his mask off revealing what he looks like to Light 🤦 then raise his voice at Light telling him ur the one who flew close to the sun I’m here to make sure ur the one who burns!! Jesus christ ok it’s official this isn’t L……L is a calm level headed sociopath who is also very smart and wouldn’t just show his face willy nilly….no this L in this film isn’t L, he’s just a dumbass……so for the rest of this film I’m gonna call him Bob because he doesn’t deserve to be called L…..btw if ur wondering why Lights called Kirra in this film well….in the show it was given to him by his followers as like a cult but in this show he picks the name for himself because and I quote the name Kirra is related to Japan so the cops will think the crimes are originating from Japan…..kill me right now, plz……this is stupid seriously? Did his name need an explanation? No no it didn’t…btw this show takes place in Seattle I think…..lovely, btw if ur also wondering how L got involved into searching for Kirra it’s because get this yall are gonna wanna sit down for this reasoning it’s a big revolution……it’s because he knows Kirra isn’t in Japan he knows its a name to derail the cops…. wow thank u captain obvious what would we have done without u? Sighhhhh…

So to break this down let’s compare both scenes of when Light and L meet each other….in the show L says in his mind basically to the audience he’s 5% sure Light is Kirra but he lies to Light and tells him he’s 1% sure he maybe plus he is a suspect….but he never yells or get aggressive, he asks Light to join the investigation because he believes it’s better to keep Light close to him in his sight, btw he’s subtle in his approach….every piece of dialog between the both of them are there way to plot against each other….

Now how does the film handle this scene? Well as I said L goes into a Cafe and goes up to L tells him I’m 100% sure ur Kirra, which Light doesn’t even hide that he is Kirra no he just down right admits it….then L starts loosing his cool then they both start yelling at each other…..so who’s the idiot here? I guess both of them are, how wonderful

So anyways Light returns home and there’s Mia who’s there to apologize for wanting to kill his dad earlier….yeah she wanted to kill his father earlier, she has a massive murder boner in this film btw this film doesn’t explain to the audience why she’s so edgy and wants to murder people…..oh also she loves horror films? What is the film implying that because she loves horror movies that means she’s a killer? News flash a lot of us are fans of horror movies and where not killers!!….sighhh oh btw if any of yall are wondering if Light is still smart at all…let me shut down any idea of yall having that Light might be smart because he isn’t here…..in the show he made an pretty impressive trap in his Book cupboard where if someone tried to open up the false wood floor in it….it will ignite a bomb and set the house on fire….ok that’s clever, but here no instead he shows the book to the first woman he meets which happens to be Mia and he also leaves the book lying around in the house for anyone to steel it basically….wow our brains ladies and gentlemen…..are we sure he’s supposed to be smart? At this point he makes Patrick Star look smart in comparison….anyways so they both hook up because of course they do

BTW I quickly wanna mention this dumb film gives a reason to why L eats candy which btw didn’t need an explanation….turns out the reason he eats candy is because the subsidence from the candy will keep him awake for 48 hours….huh? Sorry what? That’s not how candy works….candy doesn’t keep u up for 48 hours, also this didn’t need an explanation!! In the show it’s just a random quirky thing he does….but here no no we need an explains I guess sighhhh….

Anyways, But now we get into when this film officially just looses it, where it stops caring officially…..so another rule this film gives the book is u can control a specific person but u need to put there full name in for it to work and u can only control them for 48 hours total, btw if u don’t want them to die after the 48 hours u can burn there page it somehow prevents them from dying I guess btw u can only burn a page 3 times that’s it I guess, doesn’t this all sound convaludicated to yall? Because guess who they try to mind control? Easy they try to mind control Watari, and by now I bet ur wondering does it work I mean don’t they need a full name? Well logic would say it should not work but nope it does work they are able to control him….they write in the book that Watari will get up in the middle of the night go leave on a train to go to where L originally was raised find his documented files and gives Light and Mia the name of L so he can kill L….wow doesn’t that all sound convaluticated? Also huh? How did that work? I thought u need a full name for it to work? Watari isn’t a full name…I mean seriously Watari who? Or is literally Watari his full name? Is his name just Watari? If so then it’s dumb for L to let this father figure of him to go around telling people his name and plastering them onto cards….especially when L knows Kirra somehow can mind control people to death!!….Jesus is L and Light both stupid or is the script writers the stupid ones?

BTW the burning of the page rule doesn’t even make a lick of sense because Ryuk mentions that If u burn a page u can only save one specific person that u wrote on the page….but how does that work? I mean Light and Mia have been writing more than 1 name on a single page throughout this film? Can u plz make sense for one minute film plss!?!!!!…….groooaaaann

Anyway so Watari gets to the location he’s supposed to be at which means he’s gone missing so L is scared for Watari which also means he decides to enter Light’s house while Light and James and Mia are eating dinner and he yells and threatens Light and saying he knows he did this he did something to Watari!!…..ok it’s official this isn’t L like at all, he’d never lose his cool or start screaming…..jeepers this film is dumb, anyways so a prom is about to come up so Light and Mia go together how thoughtful? also to draw suspicion away from them while they sneak off to go call up Watari Light brings a top hat with him and places it on someone else….who doesn’t look like Light at all, if yall wondering why he did that? Well it’s because his dad sent cops to watch and eye and protect him from L……oh ok then, so anyways they go up and call Watari up…..luckily he’s at the file cabinet locating the file but as soon as he finds the file a group of men come in and shoot Watari to death……huh, he couldn’t even finish up the one job he was mind controlled to do? What did they write in the book, so Watari will leave go onto a train go to where L grew up go find his files and as soon as he is about to read them out loud a group of men will come in and shoot him with machine guns…….or is it that the script is just stupid? Yeah let’s go with that

BTW Light was trying to stop Watari from dying so he wanted to burn the page but turns out the page been ripped out oh no I wonder who it could be…..surely it’s not Mia the only other person who knows of the death note…noooo that be to obvious……sighhhh, btw this film doesn’t explain to us why all a sudden Light doesn’t want to kill Watari, he just all a sudden doesn’t want to…..his motives are flimsy…..he says he wants to kill people who deserve it….but he will kill people that will try to bang his girlfriend, then he writes Wataris name in the book to kill him just for then to randomly decide on second thought he doesn’t deserve to die….so uhh hmmm Light uhhhh WHICH ONE IS IT!!?

Don’t worry it gets worse so he finds out yes Mia did rip the page out put Light’s name in the page to kill him unless if he hands her the death note….so keep in mind that earlier Ryuk Said to get rid of the death note u have to leave it out somewhere random for 7 days and let someone pick it up….but I guess where just ignoring that rule now are we? Jesus so Light tells Mia to meet him at the Ferris wheel where they had therr first date…..he goes and grabs the book, also L gets a call that Watari is dead so he looses it and grabs a gun? And steals a cop car? Huh? What? And starts randomly driving around Seattle then bumps into Light…..hooooowwww!??! How did he find Light so easily? Seattle isn’t a small city people!!……ughh anyways so stupid chase scene happens blah blah it ends with L getting knocked out by one of Kirras followers in an alley way, then Light goes to meet Mia at the ferris wheel they go up into the ferris wheel…..oh and a bunch of cop cars caring swat army people inside who come running out are there as well….ok I bet yall are wondering a few things now…

1. Why did they decide to meet here? Wouldn’t this be a great place to get accidentally cornered at?

2. Why are all these cops here? They got told by James Turner to go apprehend L he’s dangerous and armed and bring his son into protection custody until L is apprehended….ok cool the cops found L in the alley way but only 1 cop car showed up…..but why is there an entire fleet of them here at the ferris wheel?

3. Why are the freaking swat army here? Shouldn’t they be u know apprehending L? Why they here where Light is? Film can u plz make sense for a single min plz!!
Anyway so both Mia and Light are on the wheel and she just grabs the book from Light which then he reveals that he wrote her name in the book……I’ll explain shortly what he writes but uh this is stupid because no where in the film was is established u can write the person’s name in the book who wrote ur name in the book to prevent urself from dying….ok whatever I’m just done at this point I don’t care anymore…..so then Ryuk shows up below them and uses his powers to start knocing down the ferris wheel-

Wait a min didn’t earlier Ryuk say the way people die has to be plausible and realistic? Not like something like an alligator came out of ur toilet? How is what he’s doing now plausible!!? How is a demon from hell using supernatural powers to bring down a ferris wheel to kill someone qualify as plausible and realistic?!! God this movie is so stupid it seems to not even care about its own rules it sets up…..anyways so both them fall out in slow motion I kid u not also to romance music sighhhh…..also Mia falls in a crate of flowers and dies while Light falls in the ocean and falls into a coma……also L shows up, wait shouldn’t he have been apprehended? And notices a piece of the page burning in a dumpster with fire in it…..yeah I forgot to mention that the paper randomly and luckily fell into the fire dumpster how luckily….oh and Light wakes up in a hospital which is reveled he was in a coma for months….ok now it’s time for me to explain all this

So Light wrote in the book that get this and u try telling me this sounds plausible and realistic so get this Light wrote in the book that if Mia takes the book from him that the ferris wheel will be torn apart to make both them fall out of it, where Mia will fall into a crate of flowers and die while he fslla into the ocean and where a random paramedic will drag him out of the river put him into a coma, take the death note and start using it for months to take all suspension off of Light to make it look like Light isn’t Kirra…..then the medic guy will commit suicide close to when Light wakes up…..oh yeah because that all sounds oh so plausible and realistic pfff of course……kill me now

So anyways James walks into his son’s room in the hospital and reveals he knows he’s kirra and does he pretend he isn’t or deny it? Nope instead he says how did u know 🤦…..congratulations Light your a moron……so the film ends with light revealing how he got into a coma to his dad because Light’s an idiot, then the film also ends teasing us with if L killed Light or not….huh? Yeah L sneaks into Light’s house and notices a paper and pen and somehow thinks it’s the death note paper….wow talk about one gaint leap of logic there….oh then Ryuk shows up to Light, laughing at him…..huh, did this film just tease that L might have just killed Light? This film was completely stupid I hate it I absolutely hate this film it’s abysmal……plz skip this film it’s on Netflix but skip it, overall I’m gonna give this film a solid -5/10 truly abysmal