Batman and Robin: so anyways let’s start off with saying this film is trash……everything about this film is bad…..lets get into it shall we….well lets start off with the fact that batman is played by George Clooney……..….just why…..why of all people did they pick George Clooney to be batman……im sorry I must ask….when u look at George Clooney….do u imagine Bruce Wayne?…..no seriously do u…because I sure as heck dont…..also guess how this film. Starts off like….showing batmans and robins butts…..…..I kid u not guys the bat suits in this film have nipples on his suit and the outline of his ass……I feel dumb for even Acknowledging it……and then there’s the fact that the batmobile in this film has neon glowing lights…..im sorry thats not the batmobile…..thats a toy……..now let’s get onto the even worse part of this film……Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze….my god…just why with this character…….every time he’s on screen he’s making ice puns……I kid u not….here’s some examples……

Cool party

All right everyone….chill

I’m afraid my condition has left me cold to ur plee of mercy

Seriously I think Mr Freeze needs to chill with his puns……..yes I know what I just did there…..ur welcome for that…..…….

• then let’s not forget Robin…..oh dear lord…..he’s unbearable in this film…..he’s just whiney…..in this whole film he’s like…oh well pfff batman is unfair….batman this batman that…..ahhhhhhhh!!!…….arrrrrrrrrgggggg!!!!…..……seriously if I ever have to hear another of his complaints ill snap……now I do want to show u guys one scene right now……don’t enjoy or enjoy….whatever….just check out this monstrosity

….guys idk where to even start…..ladies and gentlemen we get introduced to the first time to bane…..although no way on gods green earth am I calling this vegetable….bane….I have a perfect name for him…well I didn’t come up with it….there’s this YouTuber named Chris Stuckmann and his pal FlickPick…..do a review on this film…..and FlickPick says “that’s not bane…no that’s Bane-Tard”….do u know what I agree…this isn’t bane…this is Bane-Tard….thats what I’m gonna call him for the rest of this review….but before I get to that id like to recommend that video…..I recommend u check out this video…..trust me they show how bad this film is

Let’s continue talking about Bane-Tard….he can barley talk in this film…..in this film he’s an obedient lap dog who follows a hot woman….no I ain’t joking….thats basically what he is……oh and if ur wondering how he talks in this film…..well….

Arrrrggg worky work

Argggg company

Bombbbbbbb……..bombbbbbbb……bombbbb

…..I hate this film….oh and we get a scene of i kid u not….Mr freeze singing to the song Mr white Christmas……

Oh yeah u heard that correctly….now I should mention whats with Mr freeze…well long story short….he has a wife who has a rare disease thats not treatable…..so he freezes her in cryogenic tank….he one day falls into liquid nitrogen….and it freezes him from inside out….now he can’t survive outside of his suit…that keeps his body at negative degrees….and yes his outfit has neon lights….why u even ask…..….and yes Mr freeze is smoking a cegar in this scene…although he can’t survive heat…don’t just don’t think it through to hard…this film. Is already dumb the way it is…..

Then we got are third Villain….Poison Ivy….thats right third Villain…..mm hm…kill me…..plz…..and whats her deal ur wondering…well she wants to reformulate the earth with plants….and yes she and mr freeze team up to kill batman…now I know what ur thinking how do both there end goals match together when Mr freeze wants to freeze over the entire city…while poison ivy wants to have plants live everywhere….answer is….who knows and who cares….this film already makes no sense…..so anyways let’s skip…that for a bit….also let me take a moment to mention the most cringy moment in this film….the bat-card….thats right…..bat……card…..

Guys I just dont know anymore with this film…..batman all a sudden has a credit card on his belt……Joel Schumacher…I hope ur happy…..u have butchered batman……bat credit card….just why?…

• lets talk a bit about batwoman…yeah she’s in this film but instead of her being Barbra Gordon….she’s now Barbra Wilson….as in Alfred’s relative…..instead of Gordon’s…..oh and Alfred is dying in this film of same disease as Mr Freeze wife…but his condition is less then his wife’s….so anyways she’s cool punk type girl who rides motorcycles…and becomes batwoman near the end of this film…because batman and Robin weren’t enough I guess….……so yeah I guess ur catching on how bad this film is…..so anyways Mr Freeze gets sent to Arkham……poison Ivy and bane break him out…oh wait sorry…Bane-Tard breaks him out…..and now batman and Robin go to Mr Freeze base where the cops are…and they show him and image of bane and poison Ivy….who are disguised…..BTW worst disguises ever….she’s covering her mouth with cloth and bane is wearing a trench coat and a fedora…..oh yeah nothing suspicious herr folks…just ur typical normal average day 7 foot tall man wearing a wresting mask and a trench coat….nothing to see here folks……….oh if ur wondering how useful Gordon is in all these 4 batman films….well to quote a YouTuber named Nostalgia Critic…when he did a pretty much accurate impersonation of Gordon ……keep in mind what I’m quoting is from his review on batman returns…but it thr same Gordon in all 4 and he acts the same in all 4…so does it matter?…

U heard that commissioner?

Yeah yeah u still feel like this is a batman thing

But they have a incredibleapa moving bright colored train…we didn’t even stop the Joker when he anniversary where he was gonna be

Let him fight the clowns!!….im loopy!!

I honestly wish I could disagree with Nostalgia Critic…there…but no….he’s on the nose with what commissioner Gordon is like in these 4 films….oh wow such a great commissioner…anyways poison Ivy comes….batman and Robin fight Bane-Tard….i say fight….its more like batman getting tossed…..ladies and gentlemen they butchered bane vs batman….oh and poison ivy returns back to Mr freeze….convinces him batman killed his wife…just cuz…..now he wants to kill batman….cuz……now let’s get into this third act so we can forget this film forever….so batman and Barbra and Robin head to the conservatory….where bane and Mr freeze are….he’s using it as a giant freeze ray….yeah this film is dumb…..and this proves it…..oh and again Mr freeze asks bane to place bombs everywhere…and Bane-Tard says….bombbbbbbb……bombbbbbbb….bombbbbbbb………Jesus lord its like hearing a caveman….except I think they’re more intelligent…then Bane-Tard over here….so anyways the dynamic nimrods come and save the day….they stop Bane-Tard….well whiny Grason and not Barbra fight Bane-Tard….they defeat him by knocking of the tubs on the back of his head holding the venom….oh and batman defeats Mr Freeze….by knocking him over and saying hey freeze…the heat is on….…..kill me that jokes bad….to quote dark knight joker….”and I thought mt jokes where bad”…so anyways batman thaws the city….because freeze froze the city….the day is saved…they put mr freeze and his frozen wife in prison with poison Ivy….so mr freeze can continue his search for a cure….oh and this whole time he had viles in his armor that can cure stage 1 of the disease….which Alfred has….convenient….anyways they cure Alfred….day is something….and glad we never got a follow up….honestly this film is god awful…..its so bad Val Kilmer didn’t want to return after he read the script for this film….do u know what?….I don’t blame him….this is a horrible horrible film…..leaves a bad taste in my mouth….im gonna give this film a solid -10/10…..thats right another negative rating……those are rare….honestly skip this film…its on HBO Max…..