Let’s just start off with the trailers before I go on a rant….

Warning , massive spoilers ahead but who really cares….

Oh boy people this is just not a great show…infact I’d say it’s another bad star wars show….really the only thing that kept me invested was Ewan McGregor back as Obi-Wan kenobi….if he wasn’t here I’d have stopped episodes ago….dear lord this is a bad show….I’m not even gonna give a run down of the plot….I want to go through what’s bad…and u will see why…..so first issue of this show is the show literally opens up with 3 inquisitors… one is the grand inquisitor who was introduced in star wars rebels and the other is the 5th brother who is another inquisitor who was introduced in season 2 of star wars rebels…then we have a new inquisitor naked Reva…and oh boy is she obnoxious…..these 3 are here on tatooine to locate jedis……and they so happen to stumble upon a jedi there who is not Obi-Wan……also the jedi escapes by running away ans yet none of these 3 inquisitors could catch up with him? Granted they barley tried….he ran past the 5th brother who just run up to him then he just stands there and doesn’t continue to chase the jedi….…….are u starting to see how bad this is already….anyways so u know how it is…Obi-Wan is hiding on tatooine, he buried his past behind him…litterally and metaphorically……….and u would think this show would focus on him keeping an eye on Luke Skywalker and protect him right? Well u be oh so wrong…because the script writers of this show is Inept and dumb…….for u see Obi-Wan gets a visit from.uncle Owen who tells him we don’t need ur help…..leave Luke alone…..oh and guess who’s there? Reva…..she just decides to be obnoxious, she cuts the hand off of on civilian…because she tried talking back at her…..then she points at Owen and says do u have a kid and he says yeah and she says tell me where the jedi is or I’ll kill this guy and his kid!!….now uh this brings me up to my second issue…..if she knows he has a kid and kinda has a sneaking suspension that Obi-Wan would reveal himself for him…why not just read Owen mind….that ability was introduced in force awakens….so why not do it here? Better yet u would probably find out his sons name is Luke Skywalker…but nah we can’t have that otherwise this would be obliterating canon…..not like this show already does that…….anyways so Obi-Wan doesn’t reveal himself…shocker and she just leaves…wow oh so menacing character she is……BTW the plot doesn’t kick in until we cut to young princess Leia….and she’s being raised by her parents and all that blah blah…she has relatives who don’t like her….she doesn’t want to be a princess blah blah…..and oh yeah Reva hired goons to kidnap her to lure Obi-Wan out….now how did she know that Obi-Wan would come out to save Leia is beyond me….I just gonna guess the script says so…….BTW let’s take a moment to talk about these 3 inquisitors…….they suck……firstly we have the grand inquisitor who was introduced in star wars rebels…….he was not translated well into live action…..and it doesn’t make sense since we’ve seen his alien species in revenge of the sith…….in that film the species looked horrifying ….they had slightly taller…with sharp teeth, and yellow eyes…..then in rebels he looked alot more menacing…..he has tall head, yellow eyes, sharp teeth, and a menacing charm to him….In the show he looks terrible….his head is normal sized, face looks way to human…no sharp teeth….and furthermore the way he talks in this show sounds like a calm British dude who never learned to get angry….and that doesn’t work for this because he’s a villian who is on the dark side who’s known for using anger….and for some reason he is wearing a cape in this show….then there’s the 5th brother….dear lord where do I start….firstly in star wars rebels he actually looks like an alien….with the green skin and he has yellowish eyes…..but in this show….idk where they went wrong in the costume design, because what he looks like in this show is if they found some Asian person then smudged green milk om his face and said there u go that’s good enough u r our 5th brother….come be in the show…….yeah the makeup looks that bad……they don’t even look the same…..look up an image of the 5th brother from rebels and Obi-Wan Kenobi show u will see what I mean……oh and then theres the height difference….im rebels he looks to be like almost 7 feet tall…..in this show he looks like the height of a normal person……yeah omce again how do u F**k this up? Btw the actor who plays the 5th brother in this show is the actor who plays Hanz in the fast and furious films….. sigh really? Were u that desperate for a new role? Or did u want some of that Disney lucrative cash?….then there’s the issue of doing a horrible job at making him look menacing…..every time he walks in this show, his body swivels left and right and his arms are always stiff on the sides, with his hands clenched up like hee ready to punch someone….yeah sorry that’s not menacing….thats what a child does when they think there being menacing…then there’s the way he speaks…oh dear lord…..I can’t take him or any of these inquisitors seriously in this show…the way he speaks sounds like he has to pronounciate every word he speaks out of his mout ….he kinda speaks like this for example……”uuu…..havvvve….no rightttt…..being umongst usss”……..do u see what I mean does that sound intimidating to yall?…..then there’s the new inquisitor named Reva and ohhhj boy I absolutely hate her…firstly where do I begin…these script writers don’t have an ounce of creativity, they stole the motivations of another inquisitor woman in the hit star wars game star wars jedi fallen order……gee how long did it take yall to come up with Reva?….also this character is absolutely obnoxious…..the way she speaks is like she has an anger management issue…..here’s an example of how she speaks…..”oh ur trying to protect the Jedi huh? Do u have a kid huh? TELL ME WHERE THE JEDI IS OR THIS GUYS KID AND WIFE DIES!!”…..Jesus lady calm down….u go from zero to one hundred way too quickly………also if ur wondering what her motivations are….well for u see she used to be a Jedi youngling who saw Anakin Skywalker slaughter all her friends at the Jedi temple and now she’s an inquisitor…..and she wants to revenge both om Obi-Wan for not being there when Anakin turned evil and she wants revenge on Vader for uh slaughtering the Jedi…and yes I bet yall wondering how does she know Vader and Anakin are one in the same? Well for u see she saw Anakin slaughtering all her friends at the temple…..yeah that’s the logic we get in this show…that’s how she knows Vader is Anakin…although they look nothing alike…furthermore how is Reva still alive? Wouldn’t Vader have killed her by now because she has this info?…..and if ur wondering does Reva motivation contradicts her actions? Yes yes it does….she wants revenge on Vader for killing Jedi and the only way she thought she could get close to Vader is…turn evil, hunt down and kill Jedi, hurt or kill innocent people…kidnap a child to lure Obi-Wan out and threaten to torture the kid…..then the show wants us to sympathize with her and root for her…..yep such a relatable character…aren’t I right? Groaaaannnnn…….and if ur wondering wait a min didn’t we already sorta get this in Jedi fallen order? Why yes yes we did…in that game the inquisitor lady was once a Jedi Padawan who got abandoned by her master ans now she’s an inquisitor…..is hired to hunt down and kill Jedi and she wants revenge on her Jedi master for abandoning her……do u guys see what I mean the script writers don’t havw an ounce of creativity? Anyway next issue……so Reva hires 3 goons to kidnap princess Leia…and oh boy this scene sucks…..she runs off in a forest with thr 3 goons ever so slightly running behind her…..not being able to catch up to her somehow…..although there groan A$$ adults and she’s a kid……also she ducts underneath a branch which one of the goons for some reason doesn’t she and she bumps into the tree…………wow talk about having foresight……anyways eventually after that pathetic chase scene the goons kidnap Leia….take her to some random planet…..Bail Organa contacts Obi-Wan to ask him to get her back for them…he basically says no…..lolo……wow great job Obi-Wan ur kinda are a pathetic friend aren’t u?…then Bail Organa comes in person to convince him which then he agrees….he digs up his lightsaber then gets a ride off this planet to go save Leia….anyways he uhh he finds her on that random planet she got taken to…..but not before bumping into a scam artist who’s tricking people that he’s a Jedi and can read minds….and Obi-Wan is disappointed in this random guy’s actions….so, of course, of course he asks the guy for help to locate Leia…..…..he gives him the coordination somehow…..yeah somehow he knew the location…don’t ask….so he finds Leia…..he frees her….she asks if he’s a Jedi, he won’t tell her…..the grand inquisitor and 5th brother shows up on the planet to confront Riva because she kidnapped the princess…and how dare she do that….she explains why…so grand inquisitor says I’m gonna take it from here then take the credit for it……so anyways Leia notices the empire I’d after him so she assumes that he is involved in her kidnapping…..somehow……so she runs off…we get a pathetic chase scene between a old man, and a child…..they run across roof tops while Riva is doing back flips off of each roof top…instead of u know just running like a normal person….anyways Leia tries to jump to another roof but falls so Obi-Wan uses the force to save her so now she knows he’s a Jedi……wow so intriguing……so Riva and the grand inquisitor catch up…….with Obi-Wan and Leia who now run towards a dock to get onto a ship and escape………the grand inquisitor says I’ll take it from here so Riva turns around then stabs the grand inquisitor in the chest….killing him…..oh joy….oh no wait he doesn’t die because 1. Lightsabers do Jack shite to people these days in star wars and 2. This show takes place before star wars rebels….we can’t have any retcons now can we? Although there’s many retcons in this show to begin with…anyways Obi-Wan and Leia escape….Riva yells at them Anakin is still alive….so now Obi-Wan knowing Anakin is still alive he is in shock of course….BTW we get a scene of Anakin waking up in a bacta tank…..on a complete side note again how does Riva know Vader is Anakin? No seriously…..so anyways we get a cool scene of Vader getting hid robotic limbs put on him….he’s chest panel ans his knock piece plus his helmet onto him…..because now he’s sensed Obi-Wan, so now he’s going after him……God who cares…….BTW u want to know the biggest retcon this show gives us? Don’t worry I’ll get to that in one second …I wanna quickly mention something that’s minor but stupid nonetheless….so Obi-Wan and Leia hitch a ride on a guys vehicle…so they can get past an imperial gate…yet this gate is small it could be jumped over…furthermore both sides of the fence are completely unblocked so u could just run around it….but nope…instead we get …..they get there, they fight of stormtroopers….then Obi-Wan shoots the panel, they both run past the gate although once again was that necessary? Both sides of the gate are unblocked….just run around it!!…God grief this show is stupid….it treats its audience like they’re dumb…….anyways now time for the biggest retcon…..so Obi-Wan and Leia get saved by a imperial officer now turned hero because she seen the error of her ways….so she leads them to a city…that night Vader and stormtroopers come down…Vader does well kill innocent people….I must admit this scene makes Vader look horrifying….he kills an elder man plus then snaps a child’s neck with force….just to get Kenobi to reveal himself….dear lord that’s dark…..some could say he’s being Dark Vader……eh eh…ok that was a dumb joke I’m leaving…see yall….nah I’m kidding I’m still here….so anyways Obi-Wan runs out then runs away like a wimp….which Vader just walks behind him likes his the T-800 or something…..Vader seems displeased which makes sense…but Obi-Wan does eventually ignite gis lighsaber then a duel happens…BTW this had got to he one of the worst choreographed duels we’ve seen…….lets see here….Obi-Wan is just putting his lightsaber in front of him….Vader is just smacking his lightsaber at Obi-Wan lightsaber as if these are 2 kids pretend fighting…..then if that isn’t worse the entire fight scene is filmed horribly…..it’s using shakey camera and yall know how I feel about shakey camera….it’s lazy as all hell….anyways the fight ends with Vader igniting the floor on fire…then tossing Obi-Wan into it….which all that causes Obi-Wan is some few minor burns on his arm…ok wait sighh ok where do I start….few issues come to mind here… 1. This has got to be the biggest retcon…..George Lucas has stated this before “Obi-Wan and Vader meeting up in a new hope was their first time since their battle in revenge of the sith”…..so to no one’s surprise Disney ignores canon…..congrats Disney, u broke canon….sighhh….just for visual spectical….if u can even call that fight spectical…. 2. Uhh does Disney not know how fire works? If u drag someone all the way into Fire…if said person is wearing cloth….the cloth is gonna set ablaze and the person’s entire body heck the hair should have set on fire….but nah, according to Disney…..being tossed into fire just equals miner arm burns……… 3. Huh this is funny….I don’t remember Obi-Wan ever being injured like this…..but hye what do I know….I’m just the fan…I’m clearly not these oh so talentless writers at Disney now am anyways the imperial officer saves Obi-Wan by shooting the flames which ignite even more…then she and her robot come to pick up Obi-Wan to go take him to a bacta tank…while Vader just stands there….watches all this then walks away…..seriously? Couldn’t u just have used the force to lower the flames and then walk threw it? What stopped u there? Oh wait I know what did…the power of the script that’s what stopped him…..kill me and all my brain cells plz…….anyways so Obi-Wan gets taken to a bacta tank where all his burns get healed…..lovely so now bacta tanks can heal anything? So by that logic then Vaders burnt skin should be looking like some greased-up buffed man…but he ain’t…..so how exactly does the bacta tanks work? Can it heal injuries or can it not? Make ur minds up? Because in the Book of Boba Fett show u had Boba Fett being healed by bacta tank….because I guess now bacta tanks are magic now within star wars…….anyways let’s skip a bit…..so Leia gets captured by Riva……how thrilling so now Obi-Wan needs to go after her to rescue her….so he gets introduced to someone who can help….he asks for help, the guy says no…just to then 10 seconds later say OK ill help…wow that took zero to none convincing……Jesus……so Obi-Wan and the ex imperial officer heads to the inquisitor base which is located in the middle of the ocean….BTW this place was first introduced in star wars jedi fallen order…..keep that In mind……so Leia gets brought into questioning….along with her little robot she has…..I did forget to mention she has a little robot with her in this show… whoops…..oh well it doesn’t matter, what does matter is Leia is being stubborn….she won’t tell where Obi-Wan Kenobi is……smart very smart….so Riva being Riva she just starts getting annoyed…..who cares!!…….if ur wondering how Obi-Wan gets into this base? Well for u see he swims in the ocean, underneath it into a hatch that leads inside the base…..huh, now I see we’re just stealing from jedi fallen order here….because this was exactly taken straight out of the game…this is how our main jedi character Kal got into the inquisitor base……U GUYS ARE BEING SO CREATIVE!!…..more like creatively bankrupt……eheheheh……so anyways he gets inside the base…….and witness something horrific, dead younglings frozen in place behind glass caskets……yeah thats actually grim I won’t lie……so then Obi-Wan locates Leia……she was being taken to room to be tortured……yeah so Riva was about to down right torture a child then later were supposed to feel bad for her and care for her……uh huh Because that’s how that works…… let’s all sympathize with the child torturing, Jedi slaying, narrow tempered woman….because she witnessed her Jedi friends die by Vader……hmmmmmmm……..anyways so we get something stupid….Obi-Wan enters the torture room where 2 stormtroopers are…..he swings his lightsaber at one of them which then the lightsaber bounces off the stormtrooper….because thats how lightsabers work…..they just bounce off of people……sighhh, Disney do yall not know how lightaabers work? No seriously? I seriously gotta ask this…..do yall not know how lightsabers work?……lightsabers aren’t made of rubber last I checked……good grief I now stopped caring….so he frees Leia and guess what our imperial officer does…..she slaps 2 stormtroopers in the face and that somehow knocks them out…good grief how pathetic are stormtroopers? No seriously? These are questions that need to be answered….anyways they meet up in a hallway where multiple storms are trying to enter through the closed door they closed……..so they get through and Obi-Wan Kenobi has to find a way to kill these guys so he uses the force to break the glass which then water comes flowing in drowning the stormtroopers……hmmmmm I’m glad we’re also now taking another element from the game here!!!…….creativity? What’s that?….BTW they close the door and somehow no water gets threw the crevices…nor are either of them wet though they were just in that room where water was splashing around….because the lack of logic at this point isn’t too far-fetched for Disney….if ur wondering how they get out of the base….well Obi-Wan puts in an imperial hat and trench coat….then proceeds to put princess Leia underneath it right beside her…..making it look like he has lump on the side of him…….just oh hmmm Jesus ok this is gotta be the worst disguise ever in star wars…..no stormtrooper or imperial officers judge this…..yet he doesn’t look like an imperial officer he looks like an imperial hobo…..with a lump on the side of his leg….oh yeah nothing suspicious here!!…..a homeless looking dude walking out in a trench coat with a lump on his side….yep nothing suspicious here people….just move along……sighhh….so anyways of course they get caught, they get into a gun shoot out…then the people who refused to help earlier come in snow speeders to save them…..how convenient…they get them into there snow speeder that’s from empire strikes back btw…….and the other snow speeder gets shot and blown up…oh noo not…..that guy, we will totally miss….that guy…..Jesus give me strength….so now with Riva failing 2wice, Vader comes in chocks her tells her she was warned what will happen if she fails…she tells him she let them go on purpose which then Vader says I mistreated u….this isn’t Vader……the Vader we know would have snapped this woman’s neck way back ago without questioning……but nope, this Vader is a simp I’m guessing……..so anyways he promotes her to grand inquisitor…because thats what Vader does to people who fail him…he promotes them……good grief……Obi-Wan and Leia make it back down the planet…where there new found friends is trying to evacuate people off that planet….so Obi-Wan and the others help…..anyways Riva comes down with a swarm of stormtroopers…..the town people hide behind a big closed door…..they starts getting onto an escape ship while Obi-Wan stays behind at the door…Riva walks up tells Obi-Wan everything….she says why she’s doing all this

….that she blames Obi-Wan for Anakin going evil…she is also mad at Anakin for killing her friends that day…so she wants revenge by killing Anakin whos now Vader…somehow she knows that some how…don’t ask me…idk….so the way she wants to get revenge is by getting close enough to kill him….huh so let me get this straight u got mad at Anakin for killing ur Jedi friends so basically Jedi…so then u decide to do the exact same thing…hunt down and kill Jedi….and now where supposed to sympathize with u?….get out of here…..oh btw guess what? She’s saying all this to Obi-Wan right in front of hundreds of stormtroopers….wow great job….u twat…….and they don’t even pay attention to this conversation….ok either she’s stupid or there stupid……or the writers are stupid…….lets just all agree that this is stupid…….so yeah she wants revenge on Obi-Wan Kenobi but he offers her a solution to team up…..so yeah they agree….kinda?…..she breaks the door open then swarm of stormtroopers come flowing on in……anyways the people get onto the escape ship….the ex imperial officer and her robot stays behind to blow themselves up to take out most of the Stormtroopers….how noble? Anyway Vader comes in, sees the ship taking off so he uses the force to pull it down, then tear it apart……ok guess Vader is a God now……why didn’t he use this ability to pull Obi-Wan to him when he was on the other side of fire? Also why didn’t he use this ability to take down the millennium Falcon in empire strikes back?……keep continuity in line u idiots at Disney!!…..so after he tears into it he realizes no one is inside then he sees another ship take off in the air…..which uh where did this ship come from? We saw there’s no second ship right besides the one he tore down…..now all a sudden there is and it flies off….get out of here…..and Vader doesn’t even use the force to pull it down…..…..then Riva comes up tries slicing Vader but what’s this? He sensed her so he uses thr force…..stops her…turns around then reveals this entire time he know that she wanted him dead…..then they both fight…well she fights while Vader dodges, uses the force….grabs her lightsaber splits it in half… uses the other half to fight her….then proceeds to stab her in her lower lung….now uh I’m calling bullshite….because getting stabbed in that area when ur a kid is already questionable….but then to get stabbed In the exact same area decades later when ur adult…then survive that as well? Yeah get the F out of here….and take ur malarkey with u…….so she falls to the ground and guess who comes in…the grand inquisitor, yeah he’s still alive……so got it lightaabers don’t kill people anymore…they just mildly injure them…..hmmm pfff Qui-Gon Jin must be feeling like a fool by now…..hahahahaha….ha….…..they both reveal to her that they knew that she wanted Vader dead….so he pretended the grand inquisitor is dead so she can get that position….so she can feel like she’s getting close to him just to then pull the the metaphorical rug beneath her then kill her off…..so uh let me get this straight….u and grand inquisitor over there were basically like ok here’s the plan, we’re gonna pretend ur dead since she stabbed u….while that happens, I’ll promote her to grand inquisitor just so she thinks she’s getting the upper hand…bit secretly we got the upper gand….then I’ll let he think she’s got me in my grasp by trying to kill…but ill stop her from doing so….then u come out then we can both say eh got em…..high five………grooooooamnn….seriously tell me what doesn’t sound right about that plan? I’ll tell u what doesn’t seem right….they made the grand inquisitor and Vader into school yard bullies…..this isn’t what an evil sith lord would do…this is what a 8 year old bully who comes up with mundane cool sounding plans would do…….kill me….kill me plz!!……thanks Disney for ruining Vader….screw u…..and screw the throne u sit on…….anyways so they leave her there to die….but she finds a communication device Obi-Wan accidentally dtopped……on it is Bail Organa….he basically says this to Obi-Wan on it…hey pal I’ve not heard from u for multiple days, so for all I know u and my daughter is dead….I hope not…but I wanted to tell u I’m about to go help out Owen to take care of the Boy…..on tatooine…….woooooww….just wooooww….so uh no Morse code? No secret language? No riddles? None of that? Just gonna out right say ur entire sentence out loud……but what if the empire got ahold of that or overhead this? Huh? Doesn’t that put Luke in danger? It’s a wonder how Luke stayed hidden for all these years….with this incredible piece of writing…….ughhhhh…..so yeah no Riva heads to Tatooine, now how does she do that with no ship being there for her….is beyond me…….but she gets there somehow…..and she’s not dead….she just wrapped her wound up and is fine….because that’s how that works I guess……..anyways so Vader is chasing Obi-Wan In his star destroyer…..grand inquisitor says we can’t use all our men to go after one single Jedi….Vader says he’s not just any Jedi….so they continue their pursuit….then Obi-Wan leaves the ship to keep them out of danger…he gets into a small ship and flies off….then Vader has the star destroyer follow Obi-Wan….but also u guys do need to go after these town people….so why not send tie fighters after them? God I could write a better script for Disney then these Inept hackers whos working for them……anyways so Obi-Wan lands on a planet….Vader lands to…..they fight each other again….for the second time….this fight is slightly chlorographed better…..however the scenery is nothing to be excited for…it’s just rocks…anyways Vader decides to burry Obi-Wan under rocks……but Obi-Wan gets out of it…then uses the force to throw tosn of rocks at Vader which doesn’t damage or hurt him for some reason yet he’s being hit by them…..then Obi-Wan runs up to Vader, uses the end of his lightsaber…smacks Vader in the control panels….why not just use the lightsaber at that point and stab Vader? Then he jumps I’m the air and comes down slicing Vader across the face….which now the entire of his left side of the mask is cut open revealing his face…..once again glad to see where stealing from star wars Rebels….this scene is a direct scene in that show where Ashoka slices open the right side of Vaders mask revealing half his face….once again….hack writers……so Obi-Wan apologies to Vader….he says u didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker….I did…so then Obi-Wan finally says then my friend is truly dead, goodbye darth…..ohhh look this show is so creative…..it tied up loose ends such as why now Obi-Wan called Vader darth in a new hope…..huhhhh so amazing……sighhhh….also Obi-Wan leaving Vader alive? The hell? Think about how messed up this is…..he leaves Vader alive which means vader will get to go on mlre murdering spree, go on to continue mass genocide and casuing the extinction of Leias home planet……so congratulations Obi-Wan ur a horrible person for leaving Vader alive….u could have finished him here….but instead u be like nah piece out…….sighhhhh….so then he heads off to save Luke…..oh right that so Riva shows up to Owen and Berus house…which there defending there house….of course Riva knocks them out then Luke runs away, she chases him down then knocks him out…as soon as she’s about to kill him she can’t because she’s now regretting her choices….so Obi-Wan comes to Beru and Owen…then Riva comes out of nowhere with Luke knocked out in her arms no one assumes he’s dead or anything…..ok sure why not…..then she tells Obi-Wan she couldn’t kill him she couldn’t bring herself to do it…so Obi-Wan lets her live tells her that her future is her decision alone…..and thats it….oh how wonderful the Jedi murdering almost child tortuture gets to live because she decided not to kill a kid…..wow great job u deserve a metal…….oh no wait u dont!!….so anyways Vader contact emperor which then we find out why Vader stopped searching for Obi-Wan till a new hope….its because the emperor basically says yo dude I know ur evil and all but chill out…ur getting to angry, forget kenobi…….yeah thats right the most evilest sith lord in the galaxy tells his apprentice to yo chill out man like ur getting to angry…..just sighh can we plz move on before I burst a vain or something!!…anyways Obi-Wan gives Leia back to the Organas…blah blah then he returns to tatooine….starts ridding off in the sunset then ghost of Qui-Gon Jin shows up which he says I’ve always been here u were just not ready to see me….uuhhhh huh what u talking about? U realize he asked for u earlier in this show right….just u know what nevermind where done…this show is done this show stinks it’s awful……horrible piece of Shite of a show it is…..it breaks canon in every possible way u can imagine….all I’m favor for spectacles….Jesus is that what attracts fans these days….ohhh the visuals…..guys get a better attention span…..u guys are being manipulated by Disney…we will keep gerring terrible shite like this because yall prefer this over Andor….anyways rating is -100/10……negative rating…….don’t see it!!