Uncharted Movie

Let’s start off with the trailer because I have a massive rant to get into with this film…

Warning ,  massive spoilers ahead and a long rant ahead…so leave now if u don’t want anything spoiled…but pls stick around I need to get this film off my chest….

So where do I begin really, I’ll start off with my positives uhhh cinematography is gorgeous, location wise It makes it feel like Indiana Jones type kinda film …the action ranges from good to mediocre at best…..uhhhhh it feels like a uncharted adaptation kinda?……yeah there’s where my positives end now I’m getting onto my negatives and this is where I’ll be describing the plot as well…..the rest or this film is just not great…..firstly where do I begin, what I saw on screen…that was not the characters of Nathan Drake and Sully….that was Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg……..seriously what a weird casting pick…..I couldn’t see the characters of Sully and Nathan Drake out of there 2 roles because well every film Mark Wahlberg is in he’s basically playing himself….sorry to be harsh but it’s true I dare u to go back to some films he’s in and try telling me u see a character role out of him and not just Mark Wahlberg being himself…..the issue is he seems to only ever have one singular emote to him…and i like to call that the Marky Wahlberg emotion…..what do I mean by that? Wellll in every film he’s in he always has this look where I could only best describe it as like a mix between confusion and just staring…..also he always does the one same singular line of his in each of his films he’s in….what? Nooooo……..its a meme at this point…..idk how to describe why the way he says it comes off weird but best way I could describe it is uhh he barley puts emotion or energy behind saying that line…..he kinda says it like he’s between mixed of confused and just reading off of a script……thats my way of describing it…..then my other issue is Tom Holland as Nathan Drake…yeah no sorry I just couldn’t see him as Nathan Drake…..he comes off more like Peter Parker…..oh no sorry more like Peter Parkour….eh eh…ok that pun was dumb I’m out ot here………anyways I’m back, yeah just its hard to see him as Drake…does he look like him? No, does he have same charisma that specifically Nathan Drake has? Nah fam, does he remotely have same hair style as Nathan Drake or does he sound like him? No what do u think? and hell no……it doesn’t help that I only now see him as Spiderman because he does better in that role….also u know what else may not help…this film is made by Sony who also made Spiderman and yes before any yall say but Jarrod Sony owns both properties….yes yes I know that….but still…..which brings me to my other issue the casting of Tom Holland really comes off as well he works for us and Spiderman is popular so let’s use him here…..I really hate casting decisions like that, it’s lazy…..so onto the quick summary of this film….so not Nathan Drake got separated from his brother when younger…..now not Nathan Drake works in a bar as a adult…..one day not Sully comes in sees not Nathan Drake is a good theif and he hires not Nathan Drake to help him steel a map to lost treasure blah blah of all sorts….we hears this before many times….anyways they go to a museum to steel the map, there ww get introduced to our villian named Santiago (ohh wow such an intimidating name….ohhhh beware of Santiago….good grief…..i do like the name its just uh not u know intimidating)….played by Antonio Banderas……and uh this character he plays isn’t even a character in the games like at all…..so it’s really hard to judge if he does a good job or not….all I can and will say is this he comes off as generic rich baddie who wants money….although there already rich so idk why they need or want more money…but hey u do u I guess…..oh also at this museum is a bidding for the map….also not Sully attends the bidding to try to get the map while not Nathan Drake tries to get the map by other means necessary which means breaking and entering and fighting guards of course…anyways they both get out of this by uh stealing the map….then they unfortunately bump into a woman named Chloe…..she’s a very untrusted character…she’s the type of character u don’t know if u should trust or not….she’s very on and off……anyways she says u should trust me and all that…I can help blah blah….to help find the treasure and ur brother…yeah she mentions not Nathan Drakes brother so he trusts her now….but not Sully doesn’t trust her….anyways so they go to where the map tells them to go…which is located under a town in France I believe…do they go there…find there ways into the catacombs….they locate the room where the treasure is supposed to be but there’s no treasure…instead just one of not Nathan Drakes brothers necklace is there…and a pile of bones so now he believes his brother is dead…keep this in mind for later….but awww how sad….poor not Nathan Drake…..so now he’s depressed because he thinks not Sully lied to him because he told not Nathan Drake that he knows where his brother is and will help him find him…so Here we get the generic average breakup buddy scene that we’ve seen before in 100s of other films….so not Nathan Drake and Chloe go on there own and wjat a shocker…they get captured….taken on board the baddies plane where he gives his generic evil plans…but then i got to say this i was genuinely shocked by this scene because Antonio Banderas characters female sidkick kills him and takes over possession of main baddie…ok that was unexpected…..so anyways for reasons i forget they escape, they open the back cargo door which starts relwasing crates out…..they dint fly to the ground because there tethered to the plain like  a chain…and uh oh not Nathan Drake gets his foot cought on one of the ropes so he finds himself outside the plane tied by the foot to a crate and he tries to climb his way back onto the plane…and btw this entire scene was taken straight out of i think it was uncharted 3….it was done way better there…this is a pale impersonation…anyways so they both escape hy falling into the water…where they land near a island, they swim up to it….anyways so they stay there for a little to enjoy selves i think……and the next morning he wakes up she’s gone and left a note…wow what a shocker…that the untrustworthy person was untrustworthy…..good grief…..so anyways Sully shows up…I forget why…he mildly apologizes about knowing slightly before hand that his brother was dead….but not Nathan isn’t buying into his apology fully…understandable, but they do team up to go stop the mew baddie from locating the treasure…so guess what they both go locate the treasure its located on a island and the gold is located on 2 shipwreck pirate ships that are located underground somehow…don’t ask me how idk either…so Yay there rich and not Sully can pay off his debts…wow I don’t care…but then the baddies come in there helicopters…attach cables to the boats, proceed to carry both boats into the air back to shore at there base….yeah ok idk the logic here but I’m calling bullshite wouldn’t the weight of a giant pirate ship knock a helicopter out of the air? One is heaver then the other…especially since said other thing has several thousands weight of gold on it….sighh anyways lack of logic asside the rest of the third act takes place on the flying boats…ok that’s a cool visual…anyways fight in the air happens Yada Yada …henchmen get knocked off the boat……anyways the fight ends with them having them climb into the helicopter and have to make the choice to let go of the boat to kill the main villian…..so the choice is between survive and get rich….so they reluctantly decide to let go of the boat which leads well the boat crashing into the other boat and helicopter…crashing them all killing the baddie….anyways our hero flies off….not Nathan Drake shows not Sully that he grabbed some of the gold, so it wasn’t a fail…oh and we see Chloe….she’s on a boat randomly driving on the ocean looking for thr gold, for u see not Nathan Drake left fake coordinations in the hotel room which she stole when she left…..thinking those where the right coordinations…..but now she realizes she’s been dooped, because she sees them flying away……lovely, so film ends not Nathan and not Sully decide to team up…the end….oh wait there’s 2 end credits scenes, 1 is of not Nathan Drake trying to bargain with a gangster at a bar, and not Sully comes in with a mustache and a cat on his back…..yeah he now has a pet cat because not Nathan Drake gave him a cat earlier, also to late for the mustache…..that doesn’t give yall a pass…..then the next end credit scene is of showing not Nathan Drake brother is still alive he’s just in a prison….now where done…Jesus I absolutely hate this film it doesn’t feel like a uncharted film….I’m not gonna even do a pros and cons list I think u can tell where my rating is Landing towards….anyways 2/10 not my favorite