🍯🐻 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
“Childhood Ruined, Now in Public Domain”
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Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we?
🎥 Trailers
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📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview
So here’s the pitch: “What if Winnie-the-Pooh was evil?” That’s literally it. Pooh and Piglet, abandoned by Christopher Robin, go feral and decide to kill a group of random girls who go on vacation. No charm, no creativity, just childhood icons turned slashers.
On paper, it sounds like the sort of parody short film you’d stumble on at 3AM on YouTube—not a feature-length horror movie. Yet here we are.
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🧑🤝🧑 Character Rundown
Winnie-the-Pooh – A guy in a rubber mask who grunts. That’s it.
Piglet – A dude in another rubber mask who grunts but has tusks.
Christopher Robin – Shows up, cries a bit, then vanishes. He’s basically “trauma fuel.”
The Girls – A bunch of slasher archetypes with zero personality. They’re there to scream, run, and die.
No character development. No reason to care. Just padding until someone gets whacked.
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⏳ Pacing / Episode Flow
The movie is 90 minutes but feels like four hours in purgatory. The middle drags with endless wandering in the woods, and when the kills finally happen, the editing is so bad it kills the tension.
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✅ Pros
The concept itself is hilarious in a “so bad it’s meme-worthy” way.
It’s short. Thank God.
It made history as one of the first “public domain horror reimaginings,” so at least it has trivia value.
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❌ Cons
Rubber masks so stiff they look like Spirit Halloween leftovers.
Gore that’s either cheap CGI or shot in the dark so you can’t see.
Zero acting, zero script, zero scares.
Relies 100% on shock factor: “Omg it’s Pooh with a machete!” Yeah, and?
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💭 Final Thoughts
This movie exists only because Winnie-the-Pooh entered the public domain. That’s it. No passion, no story, no care. It feels like a YouTube parody that someone stretched into a feature film just because they could.
Worse yet, it kicked off the so-called “Pooh-verse”—yes, they’re actually trying to make a cinematic universe with Bambi, Peter Pan, and more childhood characters as killers. If this first entry is the foundation, the whole universe is already sinking.
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⭐ Rating
2/10 – Not scary, not clever, not fun. The only horror here is what it does to your childhood memories.
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⚠️ Spoiler Warning
Alright, let’s get into the “spoilers”—though really, calling them that is generous.
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🩸 Spoilers
Christopher Robin comes back to the Hundred Acre Wood thinking he’ll reunite with his childhood pals. Instead, Pooh and Piglet maul and kill random people because they’ve gone feral after starving when he left them. The film tries to play it like a tragic backstory but just ends up being laughable.
The kills? Basic slasher 101: drowning in a pool, mallets to the head, people tied up and run over. None of it feels shocking—it’s all so badly shot that it’s more dull than disturbing.
The “big finale”? One of the girls escapes, Christopher Robin gets traumatized, and Pooh just… keeps killing. No resolution, no clever twist. Just a shrug and credits.
That’s Blood and Honey in a nutshell: empty shock value with nothing to say.
