Dead Snow (2009) 🧟‍♂️

Quippy title: 🧟‍♂️❄️ “Ski Trip? More like Death Trip.”

Let’s start by showing y’all the trailers, shall we?

⚠️ Content Warning ⚠️
Both Dead Snow films lean hard into gore, splatter, and over-the-top violence. Think intestines being used as ropes, heads being crushed like melons, and enough blood sprays to make Tarantino blush. On top of that, the villains are Nazi zombies — which means while the premise is played for absurd dark comedy, some folks might find the subject matter offensive or in poor taste. If that combo of over-the-top gore and Nazis pushed to cartoonishly evil extremes isn’t your thing, you might want to steer clear.


Non-Spoiler Plot Overview

A group of med-students heads to a remote cabin in the Norwegian mountains for a winter getaway. They find a stash of old Nazi gold…and accidentally wake the owners: an undead SS platoon led by the long-dead Standartenführer Herzog. Cue snow, blood, and the kind of splatter gags you only see when a director says, “Go nuts.”

Character Rundown

Martin (Vegar Hoel) – Our anxious everyman who ends up doing the most unthinkable things to survive.

Roy (Stig Frode Henriksen) – The comic relief turned chainsaw warrior.

Vegard (Lasse Valdal) – The capable outdoors guy who takes the first solo trek into doom.

Hanna (Charlotte Frogner) – Martin’s girlfriend, caught in the wrong slasher weekend.

Erland (Jeppe Beck Laursen), Chris (Jenny Skavlan), Liv (Evy Kasseth Røsten) – Friends who add to the body count and chaotic energy.

Herzog (Ørjan Gamst) – The Nazi commander who really wants his gold back.

One thing that really elevates Dead Snow above being just another “silly Nazi zombie flick” is Colonel Herzog. He’s not just a rotting corpse in uniform — he radiates intimidation. Unlike the shambling masses, Herzog carries himself with authority: the posture, the glare, the way his mere presence commands the undead army around him. He feels less like a zombie and more like a general who just happens to be dead, which is far more unsettling. It shifts the threat from random chaos to organized nightmare — because suddenly, you’re not running from brainless walkers, you’re running from a battalion with a leader. And that makes Herzog one of the most intimidating Nazi zombies ever put to screen.


Pacing / Episode Flow

Lean and mean. The first act does the cabin-in-the-snow setup; a creepy local gives the cursed-history dump; and once the undead show up, it’s pedal-to-the-metal—practically no breathers until the final stinger.

Pros

Gloriously practical gore. Buckets of it, and inventive.

Snowy setting rules. Cold daylight fights feel fresh for zombie horror.

Memorable gags. A certain intestine “rappel” deserves its cult status.

Clear rules. The zombies want the gold, not brains, which adds a fun heist vibe.


Cons

Paper-thin characters. You’re here for splatter, not depth.

Mean streak. Some kills skate from funny into “yikes.”

Logic? It checked out sometime around the outhouse scene.


Final Thoughts

A cult-classic splatstick that knows exactly what it is: fast, nasty, and funny. It’s Evil Dead by way of Norway, with Nazi zombies that actually feel like a threat.

Rating

8/10

🚨 Spoiler Warning 🚨

Spoilers

Things go sideways fast after the friends find a box of gold hidden beneath the cabin floorboards. A grizzled local shows up to dump history: Herzog’s SS unit terrorized the area at the end of WWII, looted the villagers, then vanished into the mountains with their treasure. The gold is a curse; disturb it, and the Nazis will come for it. He leaves…and is immediately torn apart by something in the snow.

And here’s the kicker: these Nazi zombies aren’t after brains, they’re after gold. Yep, instead of moaning “braaains,” it’s basically “where’s my gold?” I mean… really? You’re rotting corpses, and that’s what you care about? It’s so dumb it’s actually kind of brilliant. On one hand it’s hilarious, because the whole premise sounds like a drunk pitch. But on the other, it weirdly fits — Nazis were obsessed with hoarding wealth, so of course even in death they’d still be greedy bastards. And that makes them creepier, because they’re not mindless — they dont want ur fresh, they want their stash back. My god this is so absurd.

From there it’s a cascade of bad decisions and worse luck. Vegard heads out to find his girlfriend and runs headlong into the dead—one of several brutal, daylight attacks that make the zombies feel relentless. Back at the cabin, the movie goes full splatter: chainsaws rev, skulls pop, and in the most “did they really?” set-piece, a character uses a zombie’s intestine as a rope to keep from sliding off a cliff.

Martin gets bitten and decides the only way to stop the infection is to chainsaw off his own arm—a grisly, darkly funny “okay, he’s committed now” moment. He also accidentally axes his girlfriend in the chaos, one of the film’s nastier gut-punches that underlines how far past “fun cabin weekend” we’ve gone.

The finale turns into a tug-of-war over the gold. Roy tries to bargain by returning coins; Herzog isn’t interested in deals—only all the treasure. Bodies pile up. Finally, a blood-soaked Martin crams the gold back in a bag and flees in his car, thinking he’s satisfied the curse…until he finds a single coin still in his pocket. He looks up—and Herzog is right outside the window, smashing through as the screen cuts to black. Perfect mean little stinger to send you out grinning (and wincing).


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