Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) 🦍🤖🚗

“Michael Bay, take notes — this is how you do robots without giving us a migraine.”


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Let’s Start by Showing Y’all the Trailers, Shall We?

🎥 Trailer:

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Non-Spoiler Rundown

You know how for years the Transformers movies were like a blender full of metal shrapnel, bad jokes, and enough plot holes to swallow the Moon? Well, Rise of the Beasts actually dials it back — in a good way. This one’s set in 1994, making it a prequel to the Bay films but also basically ignoring them whenever it feels like it (and thank God for that).

Our human leads are Noah Diaz (Anthony Ramos), a tech-savvy ex-soldier struggling to support his family, and Elena Wallace (Dominique Fishback), a museum researcher who accidentally gets roped into alien robot shenanigans. Oh, and instead of only seeing the Autobots again, we meet the Maximals — giant animal Transformers like Optimus Primal (a gorilla), Airazor (a hawk), Rhinox (a rhino), and Cheetor (you guessed it).

The villains? Not Megatron for once, but Unicron — yes, the planet-sized Transformer — and his heralds, the Terrorcons, led by Scourge (Peter Dinklage doing his best “metal serial killer” voice).

It’s honestly a breath of fresh air compared to the last decade of “Transformers meet Historical Event” nonsense.


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Characters & Actors Rundown 🎭

Noah Diaz (Anthony Ramos) – Grounded, likable, and actually has a reason to be in the plot. Already a step up from “Hi, I’m here to scream and run” Bay-era humans.

Elena Wallace (Dominique Fishback) – Smart, resourceful, and refreshingly not here just for romantic tension.

Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) – Still monologuing like he’s delivering bedtime stories to a war council, but at least here he’s got some emotional growth.

Mirage (Pete Davidson) – The standout Autobot this time. Yes, Pete Davidson in a Transformers movie — and somehow it works.

Optimus Primal (Ron Perlman) – Big gorilla robot, wise leader, voice like gravel wrapped in honey. No complaints.

Scourge (Peter Dinklage) – An actually intimidating villain who isn’t constantly cracking jokes.

Airazor (Michelle Yeoh) – Giant hawk robot with the voice of elegance.

Unicron (Colman Domingo) – A planet that eats other planets. That’s it. That’s the tweet.



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Once Again, the Designs of These Robots…

Finally, some color! Finally, some character shapes that don’t all look like a pile of car parts had a seizure! Rise of the Beasts actually remembers that you should be able to tell who’s who in a fight without pausing the movie to squint. Mirage has personality in both voice and design, the Maximals have animal-inspired armor that looks cool instead of cursed, and Scourge? He looks like he could rip your spine out for fun.

Michael Bay, this is what happens when you don’t make every robot the same shade of “greasy scrap metal gray.”


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Pros ✅

Coherent action scenes where you can see what’s happening.

Pete Davidson somehow not ruining Mirage.

The Maximals’ designs actually feel distinct and cool.

A surprisingly heartfelt Noah/Optimus Prime arc.

No “dog humping” jokes. We’ve evolved.



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Cons ❌

Unicron is barely in the film despite being the “big bad.” Feels like they’re saving him for later.

Some Autobots still get sidelined hard (Rhinox and Cheetor, I’m looking at you).

A few Bay-isms slip in — like Prime still stopping mid-battle to give speeches.

That ending tease for the Hasbro Cinematic Universe is either genius or ridiculous depending on how much coffee you’ve had.



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Final Thoughts ☕

This movie is like finding a $20 bill in the pocket of a jacket you forgot about — you weren’t expecting much, but suddenly you’re smiling. It’s not perfect, but after years of Bay’s louder, dumber, explosion-heavy approach, Rise of the Beasts feels almost restrained and even — dare I say — fun. It gives the robots actual personalities, remembers to have heart, and doesn’t try to cram in 50 years of made-up lore in one sitting.

Rating: 8/10 🚀🐒🤖


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Spoilers Ahead! ⚠️

The film opens on the Maximals’ homeworld being attacked by Unicron. They escape to Earth with the Transwarp Key — basically a space teleportation device. In 1994 Brooklyn, Noah stumbles onto Mirage while trying to steal a car for money. This leads him straight into the Autobot/Terrorcon war.

Optimus Prime starts off as kind of a jerk — he doesn’t trust humans and only wants to use the Key to go home. But over the movie, he sees the value in working with Noah and the others.

The real MVP of the emotional beats is Mirage, who literally sacrifices himself to save Noah… except twist, he survives by integrating with Noah’s exo-suit (which gives us a Power Rangers–style Noah vs. Scourge showdown).

Airazor sadly gets infected and has to be put down before she fully turns evil. Scourge meets his end when Optimus Prime finally decides to stop monologuing and just kills him.

The final battle is basically “Avengers: Robot Edition” — Autobots and Maximals vs. Terrorcons while Unicron tries to eat Earth. Prime even tries to sacrifice himself, but Noah and Primal save him.

And that ending tease? Noah goes for a job interview and the guy offers him a role with… G.I. Joe. Yup. Hasbro is really going for that shared universe money.

Speaking of, we’ll be reviewing the 2 early 2000s G.I. Joe films next, on a side note I’m not happy with this ending I hate the idea of merging 2 properties together.