🎬Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)💥

“When Michael Bay Made Saving Private Ryan… But with Robots”


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Let’s start by showing y’all the trailer, shall we? 🎥🍿

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Non-Spoiler Rundown

So here we are, third film in, and I can honestly say this is the best Michael Bay Transformers movie since the first one… but that’s like saying “this is the best microwave burrito I’ve had since last Tuesday.”
The film is bleak—and not “cool dramatic” bleak. I mean the tone is so grim that half the time I was wondering if someone had slipped in a documentary about modern warfare, slapped a few Autobots into it, and called it a day.

Bay ditches almost all of the goofy humor from Revenge of the Fallen—and replaces it with scenes of mass destruction, bodies piling up, cities burning, and betrayal so thick you could spread it on toast.
And look, I’m fine with stakes, but this one feels less like Transformers and more like “Michael Bay’s Saving Private Ryan, but with alien robots.”

Also—where’s Megan Fox?
Well, behind the scenes she compared Michael Bay to Hitler in an interview. Spielberg reportedly told Bay to cut her immediately. So they replaced her with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who plays Carly—Sam’s new girlfriend, whose main job is to look gorgeous while pointing at things in slow motion.


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Character & Actor Rundown

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) – Still screaming his way through alien wars, now with a new girlfriend and a bigger inferiority complex.

Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) – The Megan Fox replacement, bringing a Vogue cover energy to scenes of mass destruction.

Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) – Still monologuing like every line will be carved on a monument.

Bumblebee – Still adorable, still mute, still speaking via radio snippets.

Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy) – The “respected elder” Autobot who turns out to be the Benedict Arnold of Cybertron. Also yes Spock himself is voicing a Autobot, oh lord help us all.

Megatron (Hugo Weaving) – Battle-damaged, half a head missing, looking like a wandering desert hobo with a shotgun.

Starscream – Still screechy, still the Decepticon you almost expect to stab Megatron in the back at any moment.

Shockwave – Giant, cyclopean Decepticon with a pet driller-bot that chews through skyscrapers like paper straws.



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Robot Design Thoughts 💀🤖

Okay, I didn’t bring this up much in my first two reviews because I wanted to wait until now to say it: I hate these robot designs.

Michael Bay decided to go full realism, which means:

Muted, metallic colors instead of bold, iconic designs.

Faces that look like uncanny metal skeletons instead of stylized masks.

Over-complicated parts that just mesh into each other so half the time you can’t tell who’s who during a fight.


Example: Megatron.

G1 Megatron: Recognizable helmet shape, angular features, silver armor, and a color scheme that made him instantly identifiable.

Bay Megatron: Looks like a pile of jagged car parts glued together, face half ripped off, no color distinction except “dirty metal.”
If you showed these two designs to a casual fan side-by-side, they’d never guess they were the same character.


And don’t get me started on scale—somehow these robots are suddenly Godzilla or King Kong height, towering absurdly over everything for “cinematic drama.” The result? Action scenes turn into a gray, metallic soup.


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Pros & Cons

Pros

Leaner and more coherent than Revenge of the Fallen.

Sentinel Prime’s betrayal is actually one of the franchise’s best plot twists.

Some great large-scale action sequences (when you can tell what’s happening).


Cons

Bleak, overly serious tone—like it forgot this is supposed to be fun sci-fi.

Autobot/Decepticon designs still suffer from samey, muted looks.

Human characters (aside from Sam) feel like background noise.



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💥Final Thoughts💥

This is… fine? Better than Revenge of the Fallen, sure, but that’s a very low bar. The problem is the tonal mismatch—it’s trying to be a grounded war epic while still being about alien trucks that turn into robots.
There’s no fun balance here, just an oppressive feeling of “wow, a lot of people died” with some slow-motion Rosie shots thrown in for marketing appeal.

Rating: 5/10 – Better than the last one, but man, this tone is all wrong.


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🚨Spoilers ahead🚨

We learn that the space race of the 1960s wasn’t just about beating the Soviets—it was a cover for investigating a crashed Autobot ship on the moon. That ship? The Ark, carrying Sentinel Prime and a cache of “pillars” that can transport matter through space.

Optimus revives Sentinel, who is voiced by Leonard Nimoy and oozes “wise old leader” energy… until he stabs everyone in the back. Turns out he made a deal with Megatron to save Cybertron by enslaving humanity and using Earth as the foundation for their reborn homeworld.

This betrayal sets off a brutal war in Chicago—Decepticons occupy the city, civilians get slaughtered, buildings collapse, and it all plays more like Black Hawk Down than Transformers.

The climax has Optimus battling Sentinel and Megatron. Megatron, seeing Sentinel about to finish Optimus, actually saves him—less out of nobility and more because Sentinel isn’t giving him enough credit in their partnership. Optimus, being done with both of them, executes Sentinel on the spot and finishes off Megatron for good measure.

By the end, the city is in ruins, thousands are dead, and the “heroes” are standing amid the rubble like they just walked out of a war memorial. And I’m sitting here wondering: wait, was that a Transformers movie? Or did Michael Bay just trick me into watching a post-apocalyptic war film with robot extras?