🛸 Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

🕯 In Memory of Maddie 🕯
This review is dedicated to my friend Maddie—an unapologetic lover of the absurd, the unwatchable, and the unintentionally hilarious. While most people fled from bad movies, she ran toward them with popcorn and sarcasm. She believed that even the worst films deserved a watch… if only to yell at the screen. Maddie didn’t just laugh at the chaos—she celebrated it. And now, so will I. This one’s for her.

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🎞️ Let’s Start With the Trailer, oh wait there’s none

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🪦 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview

Ohhhhh boy. Ohhhhhh boy. I’ve been waiting to talk about this cinematic masterpiece of confusion and cosmic misfires for a long time.

Today, we’re cracking open Plan 9 from Outer Space, the infamous, budget-less alien zombie mess from the one and only Ed Wood. The man, the myth, the walking film school cautionary tale. He had passion, he had drive, and he had absolutely no clue what he was doing — but by God, he did it anyway.

Let’s set the bar right now: this is the only movie where the UFOs look like pie tins, the aliens look like Renaissance Faire dads, and the dialogue sounds like it was written by an alien who just Googled “how humans talk.”

So… is it good?

Absolutely not.
But is it entertaining? Oh, baby.
Let’s get into the madness.


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🧛‍♂️ Character Rundown

Bela Lugosi: Sorta? The footage was actually test shots from a vampire movie Ed Wood never made. He edited it in as tribute after Lugosi died. None of it fits the plot, makes sense, or even lines up geographically. He mourns his wife in one shot… then randomly walks into traffic. RIP, context.

Not-Bela-Lugosi: Played by Ed Wood’s wife’s chiropractor. Really. His acting strategy? Hold a cape over his face the whole time. It’s like Dracula got social anxiety.

Vampira: She’s dead, she’s back, she glides like a figure skater who lost her will to live. No dirt, no logic—just vibes.

Detective Zombie: Dies offscreen, then returns with his arms outstretched like he’s trying to grab a pizza.

The Aliens: I cannot stress this enough—these are just dudes. Middle-aged, mid-life crisis humans in low-budget cosplay doing the Wakanda salute 50 years too early. They look like they came straight from a “Buy Two, Get One Free” robe sale.

The Dog (Honorable Mention): A tiny yapping alien disguised as a dog (a pug, I believe), who shows up to deliver exposition. He deserves a better agent.

Cop with the Prop Gun: This man holds a gun like he bought it from Party City. He uses it to gesture, points it at his own chin, and treats it more like a microphone than a weapon. Oscar-worthy.



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⌛ Pacing / Scene Flow

This film’s pacing is like a roller coaster designed by a blindfolded goat.

Just when you think you’ve settled into a rhythm, BAM—sudden day-to-night jump with no explanation. For instance, our heroes drive to a graveyard in broad daylight, and when they get out of the car? It’s midnight. Dracula’s ready. The sun? Who knows.

The editing throughout feels like someone tripped and dropped the film reel down the stairs, then just glued it back together however it landed.


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✅ Pros

A sincere, earnest effort by Ed Wood to make a serious sci-fi story.

Accidentally created one of the funniest films in existence.

The definition of so bad it’s good.

Vampira’s iconic spooky glare is kind of a serve.

Bela Lugosi gets one last hurrah, sort of.

Pure meme fuel from beginning to end.



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❌ Cons

Dialogue that sounds like aliens trying to guess how humans interact:

> “Did you see that strange thing in the sky?”
“That sure was a strange thing.”
“I can’t believe how strange that thing was.”
“It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Well, let’s stop talking about how strange it is and go look at it. Even though it’s strange.”
“I agree. That strange thing was strange.”
(This goes on for 90 minutes.)



Editing so bad it creates its own timeline paradoxes.

Cop cockpit scene with cardboard instruments.

Aliens with zero alien design effort.

Continuity so broken it makes The Room look like Inception.

Awful lines like:

> “Women.”
“Yeah. They’ve been like that all down through the ages.”





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🧠 Final Thoughts

Ed Wood really said, “Yeah, this’ll work,” and then released it in theaters. Respect.

This is not a movie. This is a vibe. A fever dream. An accident with a camera. But somehow, it’s still endearing. It’s a love letter to filmmaking gone horribly, hilariously wrong.

Do I recommend it?
YES.
But maybe bring some popcorn, a group of friends, and your best roast jokes.


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⭐ Rating: 7.8/10

Because bad filmmaking has never been this good.


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⚠️ Spoiler Warning

Flashy thing ready:
You will now forget everything from here on out if you choose to.


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💀 Spoilers

Turns out the aliens’ grand plan is to raise the dead to defeat humanity… but then disintegrate them a few scenes later. Consistency? Who needs it.

Their cube-shaped ship (which somehow flies?) is boarded by humans. Inside? Tacky furniture, a cheap table, and music that sounds like discount Star Trek.

The main alien leader explains his motivation:

> “Humans are stupid. So we’re going to kill them.”
A+ diplomacy.



The female alien agrees, so the leader slaps her and calls her weak. Wow, so sexism is intergalactic.

Our brave human cop fights the alien with all the tension of two dads arguing over grill technique at a BBQ.

The ship escapes… and immediately explodes. Don’t ask why.

Humanity is saved. Somehow.