The X-Files Review 👽🛸

Let’s start by showing y’all the opening theme. 🎵

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Non-Spoiler Plot Overview

For the longest time, The X-Files was perceived as that alien show. And while yes, aliens play a central role, the real appeal lies in the eerie, the unexplained, and the “WTF did I just watch” cases. The show follows FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully—Mulder being a believer in the paranormal and conspiracy theories, and Scully being the skeptic with a scientific mind. Together, they investigate the unexplained while uncovering a massive government cover-up involving alien abductions, cloning, cancer experimentation, and so much more.


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Character Rundown

Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) – The guy who wants to believe. His sister was abducted when he was a kid (maybe), which sparked his obsession with uncovering the truth. He’s sarcastic, reckless, brilliant, and 100% ride-or-die when it comes to Scully.

Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) – A medical doctor and scientist assigned to debunk Mulder’s nonsense. Except… most of it turns out to be real. She gets abducted, experimented on, cloned, given cancer, and still says “there must be a scientific explanation.” Girl, please.

Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) – Their boss. Bald. Yells a lot. Constantly stuck between “I support you” and “I’m being watched.”

The Smoking Man (aka Cancer Man) – Always puffing on a cigarette while ruining lives. He’s the show’s big bad. Basically if shadowy corruption had a face (and lungs full of tar), it’d be him.

The Cigarette Smoking Man: Evil in a Cloud of Smoke

If the Devil wore a cheap government-issued trench coat and chain-smoked Morleys, he’d still be less terrifying than The X-Files’ Cigarette Smoking Man. Also known as Cancer Man, CSM, or That Slippery Bastard Who Somehow Survives Every Time, he is the show’s most persistent and loathsome villain — the walking embodiment of the shady side of the government. He’s not just in the shadows of power — he is the shadows.

This man doesn’t just pull the strings behind shady coverups — he is the string. His power isn’t in brute force or flashy speeches. It’s in whispered threats, blank stares, and cryptic smirks as he ruins lives from behind a veil of deniability. He’s the kind of guy who’ll have your entire family killed, then calmly offer you a cigarette.

CSM is chilling because he believes what he’s doing is right. His goals? Supposedly to “preserve order” in a world on the brink of chaos — but that order comes at the cost of truth, freedom, and human lives. He’s deeply involved in the Syndicate’s long-term plan to cooperate with an alien colonization in exchange for survival — a coward’s devil’s bargain dressed up as pragmatism. He manipulates Mulder, lies to Scully, gaslights Skinner, and has an uncanny ability to not die no matter how many times he gets blown up, shot, or exposed.

He is detestable, not just because of what he does, but because of how normal he makes evil seem. Quiet. Bureaucratic. Unstoppable.

And yet… you can’t look away. Every time he lights up, you brace yourself. Because when Cancer Man is in the room, someone’s about to lose something — their job, their hope, their life, their mind. Possibly all four.

The Lone Gunmen – Three nerds who are Mulder’s go-to guys for hacking, surveillance, and conspiracy rabbit holes. Basically Reddit in human form.

Krycek – A rat. A smug, backstabbing, double-crossing weasel of a man. If the Smoking Man is the puppet master, Krycek is the knife behind your back.

(Other characters like Doggett, Reyes, and Jeffrey Spender show up later, but let’s focus on the golden era.)


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Pacing / Episode Flow

Each season mixes stand-alone “Monster of the Week” episodes with serialized “myth arc” episodes. The myth arc ones are where the alien/government conspiracy stuff hits the fan, while the Monster episodes are where things get weird—like a guy who can squeeze through air vents, a fluke worm man, or a psychic child.

Season 1 starts slow but builds tension and mystery. Seasons 2–5 are peak X-Files. Season 6 starts to lean more into humor and self-awareness. Seasons 7–9 get uneven (especially after Duchovny starts to phase out).


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Pros ✅

The chemistry between Mulder and Scully is god-tier

The paranoia is thick, juicy, and addictive

Some Monster of the Week episodes are downright iconic

The soundtrack is creepy perfection

The alien conspiracy arc is complex but rewarding

GILLIAN ANDERSON’S ACTING 👏

When the show hits—it hits (ex: “Home,” “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose,” “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”)



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Cons ❌

The myth arc gets convoluted as hell later on

It goes on way too long (9 seasons + 2 movies + 2 more reboot seasons)

The movies are mixed bags

Some episodes are just filler or bizarre in a bad way

Dana’s endless skepticism gets absurd—girl gets abducted, cloned, nearly dies from alien cancer, sees monsters firsthand… and still doesn’t believe in the paranormal?? Be serious.



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My Favorite Funniest Lines 😆

From Season 3, Episode 20 “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” — one of the most absurd and hilarious episodes of the entire show:

> Alien: Roky! Roky! Be thou not afraid. No harm will come unto thee.

Roky: What do you want with me?

Alien: Your efforts are needed for the survival of all earthlings.

Roky: How can I do that?

Alien: Come, I shall showeth…

Mulder (reading): “Before I knew it, I was aboard the hover vessel, and was not heading into outer space, but into inner space toward the molten core, for that is the domain of the third alien, whose name, he soon told me, was Lord Kinbote.”

Yeah I’d say the guy has some screws loose, wouldn’t you?



And from later in the same episode:

> Blaine: I went into the woods to try to find aliens or UFOs. I did all this research not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I should have known to bring my camera to record the dead alien body I found instead of notifying the proper authorities.

Author: What was wrong with doing that?

Blaine: Because the proper authorities showed up—with a couple of Men in Black. One of them was disguised as a woman but wasn’t pulling it off. Like, her hair was too red, you know? And the other one, the tall lanky one—his face was so blank and expressionless. He didn’t even seem human. I think he was a mandroid. The only time he reacted was when he saw the dead body.

Mulder (off-screen, shrieking): Aaaaaahhh!

Cop: Yep. That’s a bleepin’ dead alien body if I’ve ever bleepin’ seen one.

Scully: Okay, wrap it up. (to Blaine) If you tell anyone, you’re a dead man.



This entire episode is a fever dream and I love it.


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Final Thoughts

If you’ve never watched The X-Files, you need to. It’s iconic for a reason. Yes, it goes off the rails. Yes, there’s way too much government corridor whispering. But at its core, it’s a show about belief—faith vs. science, truth vs. deception, aliens vs. bureaucracy. And somehow, it makes all that feel real.


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Rating

9/10 👽🛸 The truth is out there… and it’s still wild.


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Spoiler Warning 🚨🛸👽

Spoilers below! You’ve been warned.

So now I wanna talk about the 2-part episodes in Season 5 because to me that’s when the pivotal moment happens…

In Part 1, Scully’s cancer is getting worse, to the point she needs to be hospitalized, and her cancer mainly escalates when she’s about to speak at a hearing about a guy in the FBI who was part of a plot against her and Fox…

Ok isn’t it a coincidence that she falls ill right as she’s about to have her testimony?

Also, Part 1 ends with Fox finding this guy in his apartment—who ends up being killed. He frames the corpse to make it look like Fox did it… and Mulder goes on the run to uncover the conspiracy.

Things are getting sus… so then The Cancer Man reaches out to Mulder offering him help. He tells him in public about a cure the government has for Scully’s cancer. Fox is (reasonably) skeptical… and we see that some assassin is watching Cancer Man through a sniper scope.

Fox finds the mysterious vial that can cure Scully. He gets it into her bloodstream—yay! Things looking up? Nope. Fox is summoned to testify because the government thinks he murdered the man found in his apartment.

Fox meets with Scully’s boss, Blevins, who insists the forensic evidence points to Mulder. He pressures him to name the man responsible so they can charge him instead and drop charges against Mulder. They believe it’s Skinner. Dunn dunn dunn… the choice is his.

Fox visits Scully one last time, then a priest enters to pray for her.

Then we get the most iconic scene in the show—the Senate testimony:

So that day of the hearing, Fox enters the room and this epic scene plays out like this…

> Blevins: Agent Mulder, the assembled members of this review panel first convened to address your reported death, only to find shortly that this report had been a lie, that you were indeed very much alive, and that the body found in your apartment believed to be yours was a murder victim. Killed with a weapon issued by the FBI and registered to you.



> Fox Mulder: Respectfully sir, I have come here today to set the process straight so that this process you’ve begun can be completed and the guilty parties can be named.



> A member: Respectfully sir, I’d like to ask for a short break.



> Fox Mulder: I’m ready to proceed, please, sir.



> Blevins: Go on, Agent Mulder.



> Fox Mulder: Four years ago while working on an assignment outside the  FBI mainstream, I was paired with Special Agent Dana Scully, who I believe was sent to spy on me, to debunk my investigations into the paranormal. That Agent Scully did not follow these orders is a testament to her integrity as an investigator, a scientist, and a human being. She has paid dearly for this integrity.



> Blevins: Agent Mulder, Agent Scully lied straight-faced to this panel about your death.



> Fox Mulder: She lied because I asked her to, because I had evidence of a conspiracy against the American people.



> Senior Agent: We’ve already heard testimony to these allegations Agent Mulder…



> Fox Mulder: And a conspiracy intended to destroy the lives of those who would reveal its true purpose, to conduct experiments on unwitting victims to further a secret agenda for someone within the government operating at levels without restraint or responsibility, without morals or conscience…Men who pretend to honor as they deceive. The price of this betrayal. To the lives and reputations of those deceived.



> Agent Scully is lying in a hospital bed right now, diagnosed with terminal cancer, the victim of these same tests. Conducted without her knowledge or consent by these same men who as they try to cover their tracks, who suborn and persecute the same people they’ve used in their plot, I will now call by name.



> Senior Agent: Agent Mulder, did you or did you not shoot the man found dead in your apartment?



> Fox Mulder: I will answer that question sir.



> Blevins: Did you shoot Scott Ostelhoff. Employee of the Department of Defense?



> Fox Mulder: I will answer that question sir.



> Senior Agent: Answer the question asked, Agent Mulder!



> Fox Mulder: I will answer the question after I name the man.



> Senior Agent: Agent Mulder!



> Fox Mulder: I will answer that question after I name the man who is responsible for Agent Scully, the same man who directed that my apartment be surveilled by the D.O.D, a man I want to see prosecuted for his crimes, who is sitting in this very room as I speak!



> Senior Agent: Agent Mulder! The section chief has asked you a question! You are going to answer!



> Fox Mulder: I can’t do that, sir.



> Senior Agent: You can and you will!



> Fox Mulder: I can’t do that sir, because the section chief is the man I’m about to name.



DUNNNNN! DUNNNNN! DUNNNNN!

So yeah—Scully’s boss who hired her orchestrated this elaborate plan to get rid of her because she failed to follow orders. What a terrible boss.

Anyway, we see The Cancer Man at his apartment holding a picture. Then he stands up… a red dot is visible on his chest, and the man across the building with a sniper shoots him. DUNNNN!

Blevins proceeds to walk back into his office all nervously… there’s a man on the phone at his desk, Blevins walks over to him, but the man gets off the phone, pulls out a handgun, and shoots Blevins—DUNNN! Then places the gun in Blevins’s hand to make it look like a suicide…

What the hell is going on here? If y’all can’t already tell, the government in this show is completely shady. And honestly, it’s not too far off from real life…

Also, Cancer Man dies while holding that picture. What a way to go.

Yeah. Blevins—the guy who hired Scully—was orchestrating a plan to get rid of her because she failed to follow orders. What a boss.

Cut to The Cancer Man back at his apartment, holding a picture. He stands up… red dot on his chest.

What the hell is going on here?

This is the government in The X-Files. And sadly… it’s not too far from our own.

NOTE: Cancer Man “dies” here, but plot twist—he comes back. And then dies again. First he’s sniped in Season 5, then comes back by Season 7, and finally dies again in the Season 9 finale when he gets blown up with a missile strike inside a Navajo cave. And if you think that’s nuts—just wait for the reboot.

Oh and the number of times The X-Files gets shut down and reopened? Literally like 4 times:

Shut down at end of Season 1

Reinstated in Season 2

Shut down again in Season 5 finale

Reinstated in the movie

Shut down again in Season 9

And reopened again in Season 10 reboot


It’s a miracle these two ever had a desk. 🛸👽

The Lone Gunmen Deserved Better: A Rant in Three Acts

One of the dumbest creative decisions in The X-Files wasn’t a monster-of-the-week plot, or even a convoluted government conspiracy. No — it was the absolutely boneheaded choice to kill off the Lone Gunmen in Season 9.

These guys — Byers, Langly, and Frohike — were icons. They were the nerdy, paranoid, socially awkward heart of the show. The geek chorus. The lovable conspiracy theorists who provided comic relief and key intel. They were the Scooby Gang to Mulder’s brooding Batman. And they had a fanbase. A passionate one. So much so that Fox gave them their own spinoff — short-lived, sure, but it proved how beloved they were.

So what does The X-Files do after nine seasons of building them up?
They get killed off in a one-off plot that barely registers.
No last hurrah. No dramatic sacrifice that resonates across the series. Just a rushed death in an episode that treats their exit like a footnote. And then — just to add insult to injury — the show retcons them sort of alive later in a weird “virtual afterlife” nonsense cameo. Like, pick a lane.

Why did this suck so hard?

Because it felt pointless. These weren’t random side characters. They were cult heroes of the series. Their deaths didn’t move the story forward or deepen a character arc. It was shock for shock’s sake — and even the shock was half-hearted.

Killing the Lone Gunmen was like nuking the Mystery Machine in a Scooby-Doo finale. It ignored what fans loved. It threw away charm. And worst of all? It broke up one of the most lovable, unlikely trios in sci-fi television.



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DISCLAIMER: I only skimmed through the Season 9 finale (where Cancer Man finally gets obliterated), but I’ll be reviewing Seasons 10 and 11—the reboot—in the coming days!