Indiana Jones and The Staff Of King: Let’s firstly start with showing yall the trailer shall we?

Oh boy, I’ve been wanting to talk about this game for a while…..like a long while. But first the rating…

Overall in my opinion this has got to be one of the most blandest versions of an Indiana Jones story we’ve seen up to this period…..add on top of that with terrible motion controls for the WII version and u have yourself a banger….oh sorry did I say banger? I meant a bomb!….luckily there’s the PS2 version which is slightly better but ehh still…I unfortunately played this game on the WII…unfortunately…

But hey at least it’s fun to play as Indiana Jones am I right? “That belongs in a museum” Lolo…so overall I’ll give this game a solid 4/10…it ain’t bad trust me I’ve seen worse in the Indiana Jones universe……

So from here on out warning ⚠️ spoilers ahead so if any of y’all wanna leave, now is ur chance…..y’all been warned….

So without further a due let’s get into the review shall we?

So in the timeline, Indiana Jones and The Staff Of Kings take place sometime after The Last Crusade before the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull…..so keep that in mind….

So this game’s main story focuses around Indiana Jones going after get this Moses Staff…..yes that Moses, the guy who opened the ocean in half to create a pathway for him and the people he was traveling with….

Anyway back to the story, which I’m about to rush through so I can talk about the motion controls….it’s kinda of mainly why I wanted to talk about this game…..

So the rest of the story goes like this, Indiana Jones is after Moses staff….a bad Nazi guy who we’re gonna call as well Mr. Generic (because he’s just a generic baddie) who’s also after the staff as well….

Turns out this guy and Indiana Jones have some history, so get this they both learned their skills underneath some random old guy who does appear once later….ok cool is that it? Is there anything else to it? Does it amount to anything for this story? Nope…..

Hmm shocker…..so eventually Indiana Jones teams up with a female archeologist (hmmm where have we heard this one before?) Indiana Jones reluctantly teams up but they both need each other…besides they’re both after the same thing so u know…that somehow clearly means they need one another, yeah don’t ask me how either….

So we’ve been through this before, Indiana Jones beats up Nazis…. he and the female character get ahead of Mr. Generic…..the characters fly here, fly there….to get to the location they need to get to, and they end up finding the staff in a tomb….

Then this brings us to the ending which I really need to bring up because trust me y’all aren’t prepared for what happens, heck don’t think of y’all can fathom what happens….so here it goes…

So Indiana Jones and The female archeologist enter on the enemy’s blimp (because for some reason he now has a blimp) Anyway their Indy bumps into their old master….dunnnnnnn!

So does that mean we’re gonna get some backstory? Some context as to who this old guy is? How and what did Indy and Mr. Generic learn from the old man? Maybe we will get to see their history together, why they now hate each other…

Oh never mind he dies, yeah Mr. Generic just downright kills their old master, so what was even the point of introducing this guy again? Oh no not Mr. Old Guy, I knew so much about him…like that the fact he’s Indys and Mr. Generic’s old mentor, and that he’s old…he had so much to live for….

So then Mr. Generic grabs the staff of the king, he uses ir Moses style…a random flash of light appears out of nowhere…..then Indy and the female archeologist wake up under the ocean floor which now has been split in half…

Hmmmm where have I seen this before? Oh right Pirates of the Caribbean 5, that’s where….congrats Disney u ripped off the ending of Indiana Jones and The Staff Of Kings of all things…..such an accomplishment.

Now bet yall wondering wait so a random flashing light appeared, and now Indy and his female archeologist friend wake up on the ocean floor…so did the blimp explode or something?

Nope, it’s still airborne over them…..uh huh, what? So what exactly happened? Did they get teleported out of the blimp? Or did the animators forget that the blimp should be crashed now? Who cares this game is almost over now….

So Indiana and the female archeologist get onto a motorcycle? Why is there a 2 seated motorcycle under the ocean? Why am I even continuing to ask questions? Clearly I’m gonna get no answers here…..so let’s just move on and count our blessings that this game is almost done…

Also, remember how for Indiana Jones and The Emperor’s Tomb I said I was giving it a pass for its absurdity? Well I sure as hell ain’t gonna do it for this game…..this game’s absurdity is just too much for me….

So anyways Indiana eventually catches up with Mr. Generic….he then grabs the staff from him, which leads us to the weirdest moment of this game…..so we see Mr. Generic holding onto the staff mid-air because he’s being lifted by the water, all while Indiana Jones is holding onto the other side of the staff while on the motorcycle…

The frame freezes they both stare at each other, Indy gives an ominous stare while Mr. Generic looks concerned….now bet u thinking did time just freeze or something like that? Yeah, I wish I could tell u but while they both freeze in place and are staring at each other the ocean physics are still freaking moving!

Did the developers forget to pause the physics on the water or something?….I told u this game Is a mess, oh don’t worry the bizarreness isn’t over because they both make it to the other side on land…the ocean closes back up, then the staff turns into a snake for some reason and slithers away….ok then..

Anyway the end I guess, jeepers this game is well it’s definitely a game that’s for sure….take that as u will, but u try telling me this sounds like a good game from the description I gave? Anyway hope y’all enjoyed this review….