Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3: ohhhhh yall are in for a treat with this film but before I get into this review here’s the trailers enjoy

Secondly I wanna give yall 2 warnings ⚠️…..firstly warning there’s gonna be massive spoilers ahead and second warning ⚠️ this film is not gonna be for a lot of people that’s for sure, this film is wayyy more darker than the other previous Marvel films……there’s some gory imagery in this film, along with animal experimentation scenes, so be warned tons of animal cruelty in this film….ok with that warning out of the way let’s get into this review, shall we?

So at the beginning of this film our Guardians of the Galaxy are living out on the skull named Nowhere……also Starlord is getting drunk because he misses Gamora, yes she’s alive but she doesn’t remember shite about them……anyways as soon as our characters about to call it in for a night and Nebula puts Starlord to bed, this random guy named Adam Warlock comes out of nowhere grabbing ahold of Rocket Racoon, uh oh so the gang starts attacking Adam Warlock….who is fully golden, had golden hair, has a gem on his head and wears a crimson red suit, also heres the music that plays in this scehe when he is first introduced

….anyways but he ends up destroying Groot down to his head being left Jesus, he shoots Rocket…..and he gets badly injured also he beats up Drax…….so then they beat up Adam Warlock but he escapes, and uh oh yeah Rocket Racoon is near death so uh yeah this is serious, oh btw then they try to use a med kit shock thing on him but it amplifies up his condition uh oh

So they take him on the ship where Nebula scans him by plugging herself into him no not in that way yall are thinking and they realize he has a kill switch in him, so they now have to go to the place he was created in maybe they will have the situation to fixing Rocket Racoon……Jesus things are looking dire, so they keep behind Kraglin and Cosmo the Dog to watch an eye on the place…..btw Kraglin is feeling insecure because he can’t use Yondus’s arrow correctly heck he tried using it on Adam Warlock but it bounced off him and he said who threw that at me? Wimp….lolo also earlier he got out beaten by Cosmo the Dog in a contest btw Cosmo can use Teleconesis, so he calls her a bad dog which she is hurt about and wants him to take that back…plz save that for later….

Anyways now I wanna talk about how dark this film is because jeepers it is dark….firstly here’s an image of the Villian so u have an idea of what he looks like

Yeah just by the looks of him take 2 guesses what they do to him at the end? I can tell u whatever ur guessing now is probably correct…..also no wait let’s test yall resistance to how dark this film is….here’s a clip

Yikes jeepers and keep in mind people that’s a happy scene, I mean the fact Rocket and his animal friends are talking about there new life coming for them……look we all know it ain’t gonna happen because the situation there in and how Grim things look and now they’re talking about their life in the future? Yeah sorry get on out of here…also if any of yall are Bawling ur eyes out by that clip then this film isn’t gonna be for u all….or better yet bring ur self a tissue box or an entire role of toilet paper because yall will need it…..

So yeah if u can’t tell already, throughout this film we get to see Rocket Racoons back story in back flashes and they are grim……first scene we see of him is when he was a baby Racoon and was in a cage with other Racoons….our main villain named the High Evolutionary yanks him out then does horrible experimentations on him, mutilating him then returns him into a cage with other creatures that been horribly mutilated….I mean one is a walrus with his 2 hind legs replaced with wheels and another Is a female otter with robot arm, another is a rabbit with robotic spider legs and a cage over its mouth…..jeepers this seems like something Sid the Kid from Toy Story would do…btw yes we see what technically he did to Rocket Racoon…..we see him now being slightly humanoid, can talk oh and we see him have been scalped yeah so he missing hair on top jeepers….also his first words to his new friends are hurt……oh God I think I’m about to cry while writing this….

Anyways our main characters make it to the base of the High Evolutionary, where the place is made of flesh and meat, ewww…..so the ravengers come along with Gamora to help them break into the place, they give them space suites….they jump into space to get inside, they get in, where they break in…..Gamora aims a gun at one of the worker’s heads to make them give them the code to Rocket Racoons files so they do give it to them……then the alarms go off a fight happens, and people are getting injured…Including the Guardians, they do escape after Starlord puts on the Anti-Gravity in the place…..btw i wanna quickly meantion that i liked the armor the guards where weering they where wearing armor thats made of synthetic skin….ewww……now I wanna take a moment to talk about the High Evolutionary and Adam Warlock

They dumbed down Adam Warlock here, in the comics he’s a being to be reckoned with…but here  he’s a dumb dumb man child who was born recently who cares about his mommy also hed stupid…..jeepers glad to see another villain being dumbed down…but no they didn’t dumb down the High Evolutionary oh God he’s the villain u will hate and I mean hate with a passion, this guy how do I describe him firstly he is wearing a purple outfit, his skin is pulled back on the sides of his head….he has a purple metallic back of his head…..black human skin and neck…..u wanna know what this guy is like? Well he screams his words out alot, he doesn’t care about animals he uses them as experiments with no emotions, he’s petty, he’s ruthless, he’s cruel…..like I said u will hate him

Anyways also in this movie Nebula has some major character development, she’s trying to learn to be less rude…..but let’s admit it, with the Guardians of the Galaxy it’s very hard especially since there’s Drax and Mantis who act like 2 dumb bumbling bimbos, and there’s Starlord who’s getting drunk a lot……so yeah that would break anyone’s temper…..heck there’s a moment later where she tells at Drax and Mantis and basically says stop being so Stupid!!……like finally someone said it…but I’ll get to it later

Also Gamora in this film is just rude, snarky, harsh……yeah she has no emotions for Starlord even though he tries to get back with her……yeah she’s very much Thanos daughter….like very much is…..bta I wanna show yall a clip of when Starlord is telling Gamora how much he misses her, while they’re trying to break into the fleshy building to retrieve Rocket Racoons files

Anyway so they get back onto there ship, and before we get any further I wanna talk about the rest of Rocket Racoon back story……so get this Rocket was kinda helping High Evolutionary because hes smart so he uses his smartness to help, he shows him a new technology he made to transform animals into the perfect specimen but the machine isn’t perfect because the animals are keeping their aggressiveness which he doesn’t want them to have any aggressiveness….Rocket points out the flaw of the machine which surprises High Evolutionary and his 2 scientists, then guess what they do with that animal in the test tube? Burn it alive……yeah I did say this film isn’t animal friendly, so this will be hard for animal lovers to bear witness to….eh eh bear eh sigh that was a bad pun

Anyways things gets worse so the 4 friends come up with names for themselves, Rocket calls himself Rocket, the otter names herself Laila, walrus names himself teeth and bunny calls herself floor…..dumb name if u ask me, anyways because they thinking that they’re gonna be apart of the new earth the High Evolutionary is making for them……but bad news later the High Evolutionary shows Rocket that he fixed the machine and makes the perfect specimen then Rocket Racoon says arent we all going to be apart of the new planet?  then he tells Rocket oh no sorry u and ur friends won’t be joining the new world order…..ur just a horrific experiment I made….u where smart of enough to figure out what’s wrong with the machine but u weren’t smart enough to figure this out?…..what a prick….before I get to the most sad part let’s continue

So Adam Warlock and his mom come to the place to interrogate one of the Ravengers to ask where Gamora is…..but he refuses to speak so she tells Adam to show him they mean business which since he’s a dumb ass he mistakes that as use his flame powers to barbecue the guy alive and yes we do see his skeleton……Adam Warlock just burnt a guy down to his skeleton in a so-called family film…..jeepers also the guy’s alien dog is now sad and for some reason, Adam Warlock gets attachments to the dog so he takes care of it….how charming, anyways the Guardians take a look at Rocket Racoons files and they’re all modified to see what happened heck even Nebula says this is way more cruel then what Thanos did to me…..yeah no kidding, so now they plan to go too the High Evolutionary to end his life for doing these horrible things to animals…

But Gamora wants off but they won’t take her back so she secretly tries contacting one of her Ravengers friends to bad the one she contacts is dead but Adam and his mom use that to there advantage and pretend to be the scavenger, she says I need a pick up I’ll give u the coordinates….which then they say we can do that…..Gamora ur a dumb ass….anyways our team lands on new earth which is exactly like earth but with animal human hybrids….so basically the High Evolutionary made a world of furries, cool……anyways they do try saying we come in peace, one girl tosses a ball at Drax but he tosses back at her knocking her on the floor, causing everyone to fear them and attack them but they help a woman up and she takes them into their home where they start sitting down but Drax tries laying on the couch but his friends tell him sit don’t lay down because that’s rude….

So then Starlord explains to the family there friend is gonna die they need to help him and I love this scene because Mantis tries making dying noises but instead she makes a noise that sounds like ur already dead she makes uhhkkk sound which Nebula says that makes it sound like he’s already dead! Then they see Drax trying to lay down so they tell him to sit up again and Mantis says uhhkk and I love Nebula’s reaction…those 2 noises sound exactly the same……no they dont!….yes they do! Our friend is dying uhhkk, Drax sit up straight uhhhk…..see there the same……lololo, so then the family points to a giant cube in the distance so they ask if they can take the car that’s in the drive way and here’s that clip

So Starlord hands Groot his guns, he keeps Mantis and Drax behind to watch on Rocket, and Starlord gets into the car and Nebula tries getting in but she’s struggling to so for the first time in the MCU we hear the F word that’s correct Starlord says to Nebula

Starlord: there’s a button under the handle, press that in!

Nebula: Ok now what?

Starlord: open the Fucking door

Lololo yeah first time ever F word in MCU, wow that’s impressive I just wish they gave the first F word to Samuel Jackson…..that was a shame….anyways they poorly drive because Starlord doesn’t know how to drive, to the base where Nebula gets told by the guards to stay outside because no weapons allowed and she technically has a built-in weapon in her so they take Starlord and Groot inside to meet the High Evolutionary who is sitting in his thrown chair holding his finger up as to saying wait to hold on…..and now we finally get to see the saddest moment to Rocket’s back story in back flash and warning what I’m about to describe next is heart-wrenching….

So Rocket gets taken back to his cage and he informs his friends that the High Evolutionary never planned on letting them free, he’s planning to incinerate them tomorrow morning, jeepers that’s dark…..while he experiments on Rocket Racoons’ brain for his knowledge, so then Rocket takes out all the stuff he stole over the time while trapped there he had hidden and he makes a key card to free him and his friends, he frees himself, then goes over and frees his other 2 friends……then him and Laila hug awww this is so sweet but then a gun shot comes out from behind them, piercing through Laila and she falls to the ground and dies…..gasps, yep its the High Evolutionary he shot her because they got out of there cages, then Rocket Racoon breaks down into tears and starts screaming……this is heart wrenching, then guards come in and shoot but missing Rocket Racoon…….but Rocket turns around notices that his 2 other friends been shot dead…….ahhhhhhh uhhhhhh, then he officially breaks down again this time screaming harder…….then the High Evolutionary starts mimicking him and says ok Rocket u win for the most obnoxious screaming ever now get back into the cage…..ok I really hate this guy….

But then Rocket jumps on the High Evolutionary knocks him on the floor then proceeds to mutilate his face up, yes yes u go Rocket…..but also dang….Disney ur pushing it hard, good on u….then Rocket runs off gets into a ship and escapes, that’s Rocket Racoons origin story….don’t yall just feel shitty after hearing all that?

Anyways the Guardians tell the High Evolutionary he’s gonna pay for all the animal cruelty he’s done…..then they point out his little perfect planet is flawed because on his planet there’s still anger, people fighting….people selling drugs…..so he basically just created earth all over again lolo, then he admits yes he messed up so then he starts to proceed to detonate the planet …….yeah thats right now we get to see innocent families with there little kids being blown up, because if yall weren’t feeling horrible after seeing Rocket Racoons back story u will sure as hell feel shitty now….

So anyways Adam Warlock shows up right before the planet starts blowing up, he attacks Gamora who’s dealing with one of the High Evolutionary monstrosities who’s trying to take Rocket Racoon away……but guess what Adam Warlock does to this giant pig monstrosity, he yanks the guys head off and starts caring it for 15 seconds long enough for the audience to be modified especially the young kids…..and he says sorry but I need the credit of capturing Rocket Racoon for my people…….yeah the High Evolutionary made Adam Warlocks people so he has them under his invisible chains……anyways so the planet starts exploding so he flies back to his ship to save his mom but his mom and his ship blow up dun dun dun, Gamora decides to fly the ship out of the danger zone, while innocent people are dying…..also the giant cube the High Evolutionary is in starts taking off into the air, both Mantis and Drax show up because Drax is terrible at listening so he heads over there to help so the both of them and Nebula go tun and jump to get onto the ship to go save Starlord and Groot….

Little do they know that, Starlord and Groot start shooting everyone up in the cube after Groot tosses a grenade to distract them hurray……also a pile of rubble falls in front of the High Evolutionary blocking him from them but he starts using his powers to move the rubble away, so our Starlord grabs ahold of a scientist, grabs him they both start heading down out the window and Groot jumps behind……also the High Evolutionary notices Groot jumping out and I like his reaction, what a strange way of escape…by falling to their deaths., anyways Groot grabs ahold of Starlord then creates wings on his bake basically making Groot into a glider yay then they crash onto the floor where the scientist dies and if u didn’t think this film could get any darker well we then get to see Peter take his knife, carve it through the side of the scientists head because he has a metal chip on the side of his head they can use to help save Rocket Racoon…..ewww, then they pull it out and Gamora crashes the ship right in front of them, they get on board try to save Rocket Racoon, but the medicine isn’t working fast enough so he’s dying, we see him entering the afterlife talking to his friends who are dead ughhhh

He asks if he can join which Laila says of course but not yet, u still have a purpose on this earth…….so the gang revives him yayyy he’s alright they have a group hug while Gamora looks at them feeling some kinda happy sad emotions yayyyy, so then back on the villains ship the 3 of them get into the ship, Nebula yells at Drax and Mantis telling them how useless they are and to stop being stupid….jeepers, so then they continue and notice children in cages who they end up freeing…..they tell them to follow them, then they call Starlord up asking where he is, he says he’s back on there ship……which now the 3 of them are wondering how? And then Rocket Racoon starts speaking which makes Nebula emotional she says is that Rocket? And Starlord says yes he is back we saved him and she starts breaking into tears, so do the other 2…..Mantis tells Rocket how much everyone loves him and he says yeah well that makes u stupid then…..lolo

Anyway the High Evolutionary shows up puts the kids back in there cages then makes his men put Nebula, Drax and Mantis in a cage then he says come meet me where I’ll kill u and ur friends…..so Starlord tells him there coming to whoop his ass…..so then Starlord calls up Kraglin and asks for his help, so then the Guardians shows up to the High Evolutionary giant flying cube ship, where Starlord gets in his own small ship that comes off theere main ship and Rocket Racoon gets into his own small ship…..as soon as the High Evolutionary starts getting snarky a giant ship comes out of nowhere….and guess what the ship is? It’s the giant skull nowhere, lolo yes I know bad pun…..

Anyways Kraglin is piloting the skull, he then shoots a cannonball out one of the skulls eyes, attacking the enemy ship…..so the High Evolutionary sends his swarm of mutated monstrous creatures to go inside the skull and attack everyone oh and his army to attack the Guardians of the Galaxy as well, so things are looking dire………for the villain, lolo no seriously because In this whole moment, his cube ship is being blown up, it’s almost set to explode also his swarm of monstrosities are being destroyed even inside the skull……..btw Kraglin finally calls Cosmo the Dog a good Dog when she helps splatter one of the monstrosities against 2 walls making him into a wall sandwich basically eww…..

Anyways for the first time in this film, the High Evolutionary own scientists and men have the smartest realizations, they have an enigma…..they realize the High Evolutionary is nuts, and he has too much of an obsession with this Racoon…..so they all aim his guns at him, yes yes finally, but unfortunately he uses his powers and incinerates them also destroying the main bridge of his ship, good job…..also yikes….

I do like a line he does say to his scientists before they turn on him “there is no god!! That’s why I decided to step in!!” Damn he really is the perfect villian the MCU has been needing for a while

Anyways Adam Warlock wakes up tied up, he breaks out….launches into Starlords ship knocking him and his ship inside the hanger of the enemies ship, where Starlord sets his small ship to self destruct to kill Adam Warlock….

Anyways remember Mantis and Drax and Nebula? Well they try to talk to the kids to tell them to stay away from the walls to go tell the other kids that but all the kids keep saying and know how to say is nub nub…..and I love Nebula’s reaction, great these kids only know 3 words, 2 of which is just nub and nub……then Drax starts speaking the kids language because I guess he speaks there language now also he tells them his own daughter loved it when he made monkey noises then heheheh he goes on and does a horrible impersonation of a monkey he starts mimicking a robot, even in the way a robot moved and both Mantis and Nebula are like how’s that’s a monkey? And Nebula shrugs and says no idea……..heheheheheh

Then Drax tells the kids in there language to go tell the others to avoid standing near the wall which they understand then Nebula says? Ur telling me u could understand and speak there language this entire time? Yeah? Why didn’t u say anything!!? Why didn’t u ask…..lolo so then they get lowered down into a pit with 3 squid like monsters they fought at the beginning of Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2……Mantis uses her powers to tell them we mean u no harm and they ride the creatures out into the hanger to the Guardians lolo…..anyways they head to go rescue the kids but Rocket Racoon goes to save the other animals that are In cages…….

While the others go breakout the kids, they do have Nebula go pilot the ship to get close to the giant Skull while Cosmo the Dog uses her powers to hold that ship close to there’s while they let the kids get on board the giant skull….how sweet

So anyways, Rocket notices a cage full of Racoons, sees there called Racoons and here is when he comes to terms and realization that he is indeed a Racoon…..this felt cathartic in my opinion…

Anyways the High Evolutionary shows up and starts levitating Rocket into the air, mocking him…..saying ur nothing! I created u!……then Rocket gets the courage uses his anti-gravity boots to lower himself down and says I’m not alone and his friends come in and start beating up the High Evolutionary yes yes finally he deserves everything that he is getting……and now I bet ur wondering wait can this film go any further then it did? No way there are kids watching this movie….no way there gonna go with what I’m expecting them to do…..wait are they? I hope not……well guess what? What u exactly expected that would happen to the High Evolutionary as soon as u saw the sides of his face are stretched…..is exactly what happens, Gamora grabs ahold of the High Evolutionary, notices one side of his face is already pealed off then she proceeds to grab it and tears his face off then he falls to the ground…..where we see a close up of his mutilated face, a bloody red fleshy skull with the nose cavity, and eye balls and teeth…no lips or eye lids…..ewww, yep u heard that right folks James Gunn and Disney officially went this far with a Disney marvel film….and I’m loving it

So he tells them look at what u done!! I just wanted to perfect everything……and Rocket says u didn’t want to perfect things u just hated the way we are……ooooffff…..so they tell Rocket to kill him off but he ends up randomly getting some morals and decides not to kill him, besides the ship is about to explode so he will die either way….so anyways they all run off the ship with the animals awwww yayyyyy, but at the last min Cosmo the Dog faints because she’s exhausted and Starlord gets stuck on the enemies ship so he jumps out into space ….gasps, where he starts freezing ans his face starts bloating up……I legitimately thought Starlord just died because that right there means death but luckily Adam Warlock flies out and saves Starlord by flying him into the Skulls hanger…….reason he just saved Starlord is because the team saved Adam Warlock, and gave him a second chance…….thats nice…..so then Starlord wakes up, they all have a group hug and I love this scene because Adam Warlock notices them hugging, he’s just standing there looks awkwardly, then proceeds to walk over slowly puts his hand on one of theere backs then joins the group hug…….lolol anyways day is saved

Starlord tells the group he’s planning to leave go back to earth to reunite with his grandfather he left behind when he got taken away as a kid…..how sweet, Mantis says she’s gonna leave she wants to go on her own experience herself, Nebula and Drax are staying behind on Nowhere to rebuild everything and train the kids….so this is technically the end of the Guardians of the Galaxy but Starlord makes Rocket Racoon captain, they all solute him then Groot for the first time says “I love u guys” ohhhhh finally more words then just I am Groot……so anyways Starlord heads to earth and we get a dance scene on Nowhere, where everyone is dancing to the song “The Dog Days Are Over by Florance and the Machines” here’s the song

Anyways everyone is dancing, Drax decides to join in the dancing even though he earlier said dancing is for idiots……..lololo…..so anyways Starlord goes locates his grandfather who’s still alive they hug it out and that’s the end of the film….although we do have 2 end credits scene but I’ll only mention one of them because the second scene is pointless…..the one I wanna mention is we get to see who the new Guardians of the Galaxy are……it’s Rocket Racoon who’s the leader, Groot who’s now bigger and more looks like his comic book version, Adam Warlock, Cosmo the Dog, and a small girl……yeah idk why a small kid is apart of the team….neither do I know why Adam Warlock is apart of the team, anyways there sitting around talking about there favorite music while there waiting for this group of animal threat coming to attack a village that they’re protecting from the animal attack…..so then the animals start running up to them, the team start running towards them and that’s the end of that clip

Overall I freaking loved this film, I was genuinely surprised by this film because we haven’t had a good MCU movie since 2021 with Spiderman No Way Home……so it’s really great to see a great MCU film again, also I was just surprised by how much thy where able to push the PG-13 rating….like damn, my reaction while watching this film was ok no kid should go see this film it will traumatize them….especially animal lovers…..also this is James Gunn last Guardians of the Galaxy film….he really went out on a great note, now he’s going over to work on DC films….good for him, also thr CGI is spectacular in this film….yet the CGI in Antman and The Wasp Quantumania was abysmal, there’s no excuse for how bad it was there…..I’ll say this as well this film made me wish that the High Evolutionary would be the main Villian of this saga instead of Kang The Conqueror……especially now since the actor who plays Kang, Jonathan Majors is on trial for abusing woman……great so we might either be seeing a recasting of Kang soon or the end of Kang, if they do get rid of Kang it will make the end credits scene of Antman 3 pointless but if they do I hope they replace him with Doctor Doom and Galactus……so overall I’m gonna give Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 a solid 10/10 I had a blast watching this film plz go watch it, it’s worth it