SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake (2023)

“Patrick, put the bubble wand down before you destroy reality.”

Let’s get the trailers out of the way before we begin so here yall go

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🍿 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview

The Cosmic Shake is the spiritual successor to Battle for Bikini Bottom: Rehydrated, made by the same team. Released on January 31, 2023, this game takes risks but absolutely pays off.

The story begins with SpongeBob and Patrick at Glove World, where they encounter a mysterious gypsy mermaid named Kassandra. Among her strange trinkets is a magical bubble wand that lets SpongeBob’s wishes come true. Naturally, he starts blowing bubbles and making ridiculous wishes: Patrick gets turned into a balloon, Squidward becomes famous, and so on.

There’s just one problem—this bubble wand belongs to King Neptune and mortals were never supposed to use it. SpongeBob’s careless wishes rip open portals in reality, scattering his friends and entire Bikini Bottom into bizarre alternate universes. Covered in cosmic jelly and filled with goo monsters, SpongeBob now has to travel across multiple worlds, rescue his friends, and clean up the cosmic mess he created.

Of course, Kassandra is not-so-secretly planning something sinister with all that jelly. And of course, Patrick’s stupidity makes things worse. But that’s SpongeBob for you.


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🧽 Character Rundown

SpongeBob SquarePants (Tom Kenny) – Overly enthusiastic fry cook turned hero, this time with a wardrobe full of crazy skins.

Patrick Star (Bill Fagerbakke) – Reduced to Balloon Patrick, floating comic relief who ruins things with one dumb wish at the end.

Kassandra (Corey Burton) – The mystical fortune-teller who gives SpongeBob the bubble wand. Spoiler: she’s evil.

King Neptune (Mr. Lawrence) – Appears when things get too far out of hand.

The Usual Bikini Bottom Gang – Appear in bizarre alternate reality versions across the themed levels.

🎮 Gameplay – SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake (2023)

The Cosmic Shake is a 3D platformer at its core, but it’s also designed to feel like an adventure game where you hop across themed worlds connected by Bikini Bottom. Each of the seven levels (plus Glove World and the hub) is a big themed playground — Western, Medieval, Pirate, Halloween Rock Bottom, Prehistoric Kelp Forest, Movie Studio Downtown, and more.

Each stage gives SpongeBob a new costume tied to its theme and often a new ability to spice up the gameplay. For example: karate kicks, swinging on grappling hooks, or bubble-platform tricks. These abilities unlock new routes and secrets when you revisit older stages. Combat is simple — light attacks, dodge, and special moves — but the emphasis is on exploration and platforming rather than fighting waves of enemies.

The big draw is the collectibles system. You gather Cosmic Jelly from crates and enemies to buy new skins, and hunt Gold Doubloons hidden across maps to unlock higher shop tiers. Side challenges (like helping the Flying Dutchman recover socks or tracking impostors) keep things interesting.

It’s not punishing — you can pretty much beat the story without grinding. The challenge is in 100% completion, collecting costumes, and replaying stages with new powers. And unlike Battle for Bikini Bottom, progression isn’t locked behind spatulas — you just play through the story.



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🥊 Comparison: Cosmic Shake vs Battle for Bikini Bottom – Rehydrated

Here’s why Cosmic Shake beats Rehydrated in key areas:

1. Progression & Unlocking Levels

Rehydrated locks progression behind collecting Golden Spatulas. Some are hidden so annoyingly well that it punishes anyone who isn’t a 100% completionist. This kills pacing and frustrates casual players.

Cosmic Shake removes that barrier. You can progress through the story naturally without grinding for collectibles just to unlock new areas.


2. Voice Acting Issues

Rehydrated dropped the ball by not getting Clancy Brown back as Mr. Krabs. The replacement sounded so uncanny that it broke immersion.

Cosmic Shake nails authentic voice work across the board.


3. Pacing & Gameplay Flow

Rehydrated drags with forced backtracking, repetitive hunts, and missions like the infamous Mermaid Man/Barnacle Boy pinball puzzle that make you want to throw the controller.

Cosmic Shake has creative themed worlds with smoother flow. No busywork padding—just colorful chaos.


4. Multiplayer Mode (Rehydrated only)

The robotic Squidward boss fight mode was a lazy afterthought. The arena was bland, enemies spammed endlessly, and winning rewarded you with… nothing.

Cosmic Shake wisely focused on single-player polish, and it shows.


5. Tone & Creativity

Rehydrated is nostalgic but safe.

Cosmic Shake dares to get weird—alternate universes, themed skins, references everywhere. It feels like playing through a SpongeBob fever dream in the best way.


👉 Verdict: Cosmic Shake wins.

Cosmic Shake: 9/10

Rehydrated: 7/10



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🗺️ The Locations You Explore

Each map has its own theme, style, outfit, and boss encounter. Here’s the lineup:

1. Bikini Bottom – The hub world, now flooded with cosmic jelly.


2. Western Jellyfish Fields – Cowboy SpongeBob, Ms. Puff teaching seahorses, Sandy as sheriff, Mr. Krabs as an outlaw.


3. Downtown (Movie Set) – Squidward as director, Sandy as a monster boss.


4. Medieval World – Castles and knights, Squidward as jester.


5. Pirate Goo Lagoon – Mr. Krabs as a pirate, Flying Dutchman side quest.


6. Halloween Rock Bottom – Creepy carnival; giant candy-obsessed Gary boss fight.


7. Glove World – Carnival chaos under cosmic jelly.


8. Prehistoric Kelp Forest Volcano – Pearl reimagined as a prehistoric boss.



Each map takes about 90 minutes to beat, with tons of references fans will catch.

✅ Pros

Creative themed worlds with alternate versions of friends.

Tons of skins and references to classic SpongeBob episodes.

Polished combat and platforming.

Smooth progression (no more spatula grind).


❌ Cons

Doubloon leveling system is grindy.

Repetitive SpongeBob dialogue gets old fast.

Golden Spatulas feel like filler with no purpose.



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💭 Final Thoughts

The Cosmic Shake isn’t just another SpongeBob platformer—it’s bold, colorful, and more fun than it has any right to be. By fixing progression issues and leaning into themed chaos, it outshines Rehydrated.

Rating: 9/10 🎉




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⚠️ Spoiler Warning


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🕵️ Spoilers (Expanded)

SpongeBob’s journey begins lighthearted, but quickly turns chaotic. Every world traps his friends in strange alternate versions of themselves—Ms. Puff as a horse trainer, Squidward as a tortured director, Mr. Krabs as a greedy pirate, and even Gary as a giant monster addicted to candy. Each time, SpongeBob has to restore them and collect cosmic jelly for Kassandra, who insists she’s helping.

But as the worlds collapse further into chaos, King Neptune himself intervenes. He warns SpongeBob he’s gone too far, and Kassandra finally reveals her true motives: she’s been using SpongeBob to gather cosmic jelly for her own power. To cement her betrayal, she turns Squidward into a monster and fuses with him for the final boss battle.

The fight is chaotic and surreal, with Squidward’s whining echoing over Kassandra’s attacks. After defeating them, Kassandra is banished, Bikini Bottom begins to recover, and Neptune grants SpongeBob one final wish.

And then Balloon Patrick ruins everything. He wishes they could “do it all again,” resetting the chaos and handwaving the free roam ability after the credits. It’s dumb, but also very in character for Patrick.


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