🧟♂️ Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse (2005) Review
“The Fedora Wearing Zombie Who Beat Left 4 Dead to the Punch”
Lets start by showing y’all the trailers shall we?
🎥 Trailers
Before we get into this, yes, they actually marketed a game where you play as a smooth-talking zombie salesman in a fedora. The trailers leaned into the comedy-horror absurdity — and honestly, that’s the right move.
📖 Non-Spoiler Plot Overview
Set in a retro-futuristic version of the 1950s called Punchbowl, Pennsylvania (think Jetsons meets Fallout), you play as Edward “Stubbs” Stubblefield, a traveling salesman who was murdered in the 1930s and dumped in the ground. Decades later, corporate progress digs him up — and instead of dying peacefully in the afterlife, Stubbs claws his way out of the dirt… hungry.
Your mission? Not to save humanity. Not to rebuild society. Not even to find closure. Nope — Stubbs wants BRAINS. And maybe a little revenge against the capitalist jerk who killed him.
🎭 Character Rundown
Stubbs (the player) – Our charming, green protagonist. He’s a zombie with swagger, a fedora, and the libido of a man who’s been dead since FDR.
Maggie Monday – The love interest (alive… at first). She’s also the daughter of the very man responsible for Stubbs’ death. Because of course.
Mayor Monday – Punchbowl’s founder, who buried Stubbs years ago. Now he’s Stubbs’ main target.
The Police & Military – Cannon fodder with batons, shotguns, and very little sense of self-preservation.
⏱️ Pacing / Gameplay Flow
This is not a fast-paced FPS. It’s a methodical comedy-horror sandbox where the absurdity is the point. You shamble your way through Punchbowl, infecting civilians, cops, soldiers, scientists, and eventually building your own zombie army.
Gameplay loop:
1. Bite brains.
2. Convert humans into your minions.
3. Watch chaos unfold.
4. Use utterly ridiculous zombie abilities to get the upper hand.
The pacing drips with humor — half the fun is watching the pristine 1950s utopia collapse into chaos as you ruin everyone’s day.
✅ Pros
Absurd Premise – You’re a zombie salesman in a fedora. That sentence alone makes this a cult classic.
Zombie Powers – You don’t just bite; you fart poison, throw your guts like grenades, and lob your detachable hand to possess enemies. Yeah. That’s real.
Soundtrack – 1950s doo-wop re-recorded by 2000s alt-rock bands (The Raveonettes, The Flaming Lips, etc.). Surreal and perfect.
Retro-Futurism – Punchbowl looks like Tomorrowland went on a bender. Shiny cars, monorails, floating robots… until Stubbs ruins everything.
Cult Comedy – Stubbs cracks jokes, mocks humans, and somehow makes eating brains charming.
❌ Cons
Clunky Combat – Stubbs shambles, which is funny but not always fun when enemies are faster.
Repetitive Loop – Bite, convert, command, repeat. The absurdity carries it, but mechanically, it can drag.
Dated Animations – Even back then, animations looked stiff. Now, they look hilariously rough.
Short Campaign – You’ll finish in under 10 hours.
🔮 Ahead of Its Time
Here’s the kicker: Stubbs the Zombie came out in 2005 — before the zombie craze exploded in games. This was three years before Left 4 Dead and the same year Resident Evil 4 reinvented survival horror. Stubbs didn’t just ride the wave; it accidentally predicted it. The idea of controlling a horde of zombies, not fighting them, was fresh, weird, and years ahead of its time. You could argue games like Dead Rising (2006) and even State of Decay owe a quiet debt to Stubbs.
💭 Final Thoughts
This game is pure absurdist art. You’re a zombie who weaponizes his internal organs, romances his killer’s daughter, and leads an undead uprising in retro-future America. Is it polished? No. Is it logical? Not even remotely. Is it unforgettable? Absolutely.
Who remembers Stubbs the Zombie? Not many. But if you do, you’re either a true cult-gamer, a masochist for janky controls, or you just love games that lean into their ridiculousness without shame.
Its rare to play a zombie game where ur essentially patient zero.
⭐ Rating
9/10 – Because sometimes “absurd” is exactly what makes something timeless.
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🚨 Spoiler Section 🚨
Stubbs wakes up in 1959 Punchbowl, immediately starts eating civilians, and before long he has a small army of undead. The humans panic as their shiny utopia crumbles — monorails crash, robots malfunction, and cops are hilariously outnumbered.
Zombie Powers in Full Glory:
Hand Possession: Rip off your hand, send it crawling across the floor, leap onto someone’s head, and suddenly you’re controlling them. Guns included.
Gut Grenades: Stubbs rips out his intestines and hurls them like explosives. Self-harm has never been so useful.
Unholy Flatulence: Yes, Stubbs can fart so hard it knocks people out. The game calls it “gas attack.”
Head Bowling: You can literally roll your head like a bowling ball to knock over enemies.
The Love Story (??):
Stubbs falls for Maggie, Mayor Monday’s daughter. Despite him being a rotting corpse, she’s into it (don’t ask). They even… uh… consummate the relationship. Yes, necrophilia is canon here. The cutscene implies it’s romantic. The next morning, Maggie’s pregnant. Don’t think too hard about the biology.
The Big Finale:
Stubbs confronts Mayor Monday, kills him, and declares Punchbowl his. Maggie’s pregnancy gives birth to… a half-zombie baby, suggesting Stubbs’ “legacy” will live on.
The final credits roll to upbeat doo-wop music, while your brain tries to reconcile the fact you just played through one of the most absurd games ever made.
And let’s be real: Stubbs might just be the first horny zombie protagonist in gaming history. Eat your heart out, Resident Evil — literally.
